Lightening McQueen Cooks Again… Mushroom Pasta with Pancettta and Sage

I’ve been married for a while now (all of one year) and the way to my wife’s heart is through her stomach. Come to think of it I’m pretty sure the stomach is the way to everyone who has a hearts’ heart. I mean really, who doesn’t like a good meal? Especially if its cooked by yours truly (Grazza’s number 2 in the kitchen).

So I thought that seeing as though Jen and Gray were coming to stay the night I thought would cook something from “the bible”. “The bible” was handed down to me from my brother and his wife… we will call him the ghost who walks, and her Knickers. “The bible” comprises of a butt load of recipes but Knickers, being the organised gal she is, put some very convenient tabs in showing me her favourite recipes before giving me said book. Very handy, as my favourite recipe from her repertoire is the fluffy eggs. Jen said her and Gray wanted something restaurant quality so spaghetti in a can wasn’t going to cut it, and seeing as though you can’t have fluffy eggs for dinner (well you can if that’s all you have and don’t get me wrong I’ve had them many a time for dinner and they were fluffy and delicious), I decided that I would cook the mushroom pasta with pancetta and sage… and a herb and garlic bread was my idea. A nice touch me thinks.

It was delicious. Knickers said that the recipe would make heaps with lots of leftovers, it did make heaps but there were no leftovers.

hmmmm. What the fuck is a pound…

…and we’re off and cooking. The smell off pancetta browning is a truly religious experience

Jennee and Queenie. Clearly drunk and posing with “the bible”

dinner is served

dinner is demolished

MUSHROOM PASTA WITH PANCETTA AND SAGE
2 tablespoon unseated butter (or maybe try unsalted butter. It is a typo but a rather funny one I think…)
2 tablespoon olive oil
3-4 large shallots
3 medium garlic cloves
10 ounces shiitake mushiness
10 ounces of cremini mushrooms, a member of the Swiss brown family (thank you Gray and Google)
Fresh sage
1¼ cup chicken stock. Made by you
½ cup cream
1 tablespoon lemon juice
S&P
1 pound farfelle pasta (or girly little bow tie pasta)
Parmesan cheese
Parsley
Pancetta
• Cook off your pancetta until golden and tasty
• In the same pan heat the butter and the oil over medium heat until foaming
• Stir in the shallots and cook until translucent, then add the garlic and cook until fragrant
• Add the mushies and S&P. Cook out until moisture is released from mushies and evaporated out. Put the mushies in a bowl to the side
• Add the chicken broth and scrape all the good stuff stuck to the bottom of the pan (and probably not too much of the Teflon coating)
• Stir in the cream and lemon juice, add the mushies and pancetta back into the stock and cream mixture
• Once heat through throw some parmesan and parsley over your cooked pasta and eat it

HERB BREAD
Garlic, crushed or minced
Thyme and rosemary, finely chopped
Some bread that you like
• Score the bread and rub the garlic and herbs through the score marks. Wrap it in foil and bake at 180 for about 20 minutes

Pounds and ounces? What the fuck Queenie? Where do you live, man? Who cares? I will stand witness to the fact that we mauled the shit out of the very tasty pasta though. It was like the scene in Django where the dogs were chewing the fuck out of the slave guy. Except with out the blood and death and Tarrentino story line… but we sorted that pasta out. The pretty little girly bow tie pasta didn’t stand a chance. G