The title says it all. This soup sucker punched me in the face with clean and healthy… so I bitch slapped it right on the end of its dick and ate some sneaky Easter eggs. Nice work me.

To start with what you really need is a chicken stock (well, maybe that and a cure for the rash on your nether-regions. But I’m not a doctor so we’ll stick to the stock for now). Make that yourself. This is not the time to be a pussy about these things. How do you do it? Pretty effing simple actually. Surprisingly the main ingredient is chicken. Get a couple of chicken carcasses from your local meat market (not the Friday night one. There’s only dirty old broiler hens there) or a kilo of wings if you do all of your shopping at one convenient large super market chain that doesn’t deal with that sort of shit. Put the chicken in a pot and brown it off a bit. Add water (you have a tap don’t you? Or maybe you live in a slum in a third world country with nothing but your I-pad touch and a bowl of rice a day to get you by), veg and aromats and voila, you have your stock. Not so hard is it?

chop your vegetables. This makes it heaps easier to eat them...

chop your vegetables. This makes it heaps easier to eat them…

Almost ready...

Almost ready…

Let's eat!

Let’s eat! Nice photo blurry photo guy…

Asian Mushroom Broth
2lt chicken stock (calm yer tits, the recipe is below. Feisty little buggers aren’t you?)
¼ cup each shoa xing (google it) and light soy sauce
A large handful each of a few assorted Asian mushrooms (enoki, shemeji, shitake, oyster) cut to a similar size
2-3 heads of Asian greens (baby bok choy, choy sum, gailan, or even asparagus… even though it doesn’t really fall into the category of Asian veg), washed and cut into 2cm lengths
Sesame oil, chopped chilli and shallot to serve
• Bring your skimmed broth up to the simmer
• Add everything except the sesame oil, chilli and shallots. Simmer for 5 minutes
• Check seasoning, adjust with salt or extra soy if neccessary
• Ready your bitch-slapping hand to fight off the crazy healthy
• Serve garnished with chilli and shallots and a splash of sesame oil

 

It's not looking all that attractive yet, but by the time we're done you will probably be ready to take it out for dinner and a show and see where that takes you...

It’s not looking all that attractive yet, but by the time we’re done you will probably be ready to take it out for dinner and a show and see where that takes you…

Stock for the broth
3 chicken carcasses, browned in the pot
2 brown onions, chopped
1 stick celery, chopped
1 head garlic, sliced through the middle horizontally
a few dried shitake mushrooms if they’re lying about in the back of your cupboard
3 tablespoons tamarind pulp with seed if possible
2 strips orange or mandarin peel
5 slices ginger (we have it going nuts in our garden at the mo’. It is soooo damn good when it’s young and fresh… insert your own dirty connotations here)
1 tablespoon white peppercorns
4 star anise
2 black cardamon
3 bay leaves
• Chuck everything the pot and cover with 3lt of water
• Simmer for 45 minutes, then leave to rest for 30 minutes or so
• Strain and skim off the fat and whatnot from the surface
• Pretty painless eh