Puttanesca pizza

Pizza and beer. What a godly combo…

You look concerned…

Maybe you’re freaking out that a few heavily armed nations of our crazy world are poised, fingers on the button ready to strike, ready for all out war. Maybe the prime ministerial race is the big issue at the front of your mind at the mo’. Maybe you’re too busy trying to work out how to get that small toy train out of your ass so you don’t have to go into hospital for X-rays… again.

Well, here at foodisthebestshitever we constantly provide you with enough light hearted, Freudian slip induced, salty old sea dog described escapism to forget about this stupid crap for long enough to smile.

That and an old whores recipe or two and the package is complete.


Puttanesca pizza. Whom ever the dirty little whore was who decided she would put together a quick combo of tomato, olives, capers and anchovies and toss that through some pasta while she aired out her vagina in between clients was a very clever girl indeed. I tip my hat to her. Tops little tart that one. If I was in her chambers and smelt that magic that had occurred (in the pan, not the bed you dirty effer) I would be happy for a wristy and a pasta for the going hourly rate at the time. Probably half a shilling and thruppence but anyway…

It is almost too easy and obvious for a man of my “salty” persuasions to deal with a subject like puttanesca. I should be banned from talking about a recipe that a prostitute created in her lunch break. I really should. But just like the priest dealing inappropriately with the young boy; I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again!

Most often associated as a pasta garnish but also a cracking topping for pizza. I freaking love it. That, and tomato and basil. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Tomato, basil and anchovy
Tomato, basil and anchovy
Give the kids ham and cheese, and if they're my kids they'll probably want olives too
Give the kids ham and cheese, and if they’re my kids they’ll probably want olives too
Kids love ham and cheese...
Kids love ham and cheese…

To make the puttanesca pizza first you will need a pizza base of some description. I like to use nice sour dough but I won’t lie to you, this is made very easy for me because it is fact that we have a bakery at work. Join the dots on that one… whatever you normally use is fine. You choose. Use pita bread. Use fricking mighty white if you want, I really don’t mind (although the use of mighty white will bring your dinner more into the realm of cheese on toast… which is also fine by me). then all you need is tomato passata or something similar, olives, capers, anchovies and some nice mozzarella or provolone cheese. I like to put the tomato on first, then the cheese, then the other toppings. Rocking! Now bake for 8-10 minutes at 250C.

If puttanesca is not your scene try tomato, basil and cheese, with or with out anchovies.

Siete i benvenuti.

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