The trans-Tasman comradery and a good piece of lamb

I am not sure the reason, but whatever it is, we as Australians always seem to be able to afford ourselves the time for a big old cross seas pointing of the finger and a laugh with our neighbours the Kiwis (and them to us I’m sure). Maybe it’s the spirit of the ANZACS? Or a strange, unexplainable, X-Files-esque trans-Tasman chemistry? Or maybe it was a morning where we awoke next to each other after a heavy night of drinking and realized we were in the games room at a retirement home and we smell like potpourri and denture adhesive? (Please, stick with me here) Wherever the connection may lie, the average Australian has a penchant for a good solid joke with the Kiwi’s, aka New Zealanders.

But today we shall not be discussing jokey time. No, no, no. This shit is serious as having face herpes at your final high school ball. It is time to say once and for all; the sheep f**cking (should read fucking) must stop!

K? K.

Now, lamb rump is probably so popular because butchers were smart enough to call it something other than “lamb’s ass”. But let’s face it; it is a lamb’s ass. Now (back to the finger pointing) a good, tender lamb’s ass is a point of national distraction for a Kiwi (I know I said there would be no more jokes about coital union with a sheep but…). A bit of the old “nah mate, it was caught in the wire fence and I was just trying to push it through”. But a good, tender lamb rump… well that’s something I’m going to be happy to put in my face anytime. And that is indeed what I did on this particular night…


Pounded lamb rump and a few other bits and pieces

Pounded lamb rump and a few other bits and pieces

Crumb it up and fry it in a pan

Crumb it up and fry it in a pan

Sauteed herbs and spinach from the garden is a worthy side

Sauteed herbs and spinach from the garden is a worthy side

Ready to go in my face

Ready to go in my face


A few crushed potatoes go great guns too. Typing and eating... I guess guys can multi task

A few crushed potatoes go great guns too. Typing, drinking and eating… I guess guys can multi task


6 little lamb rump steaks, pounded a little bit (I realise what I did there but please, please DO NOT pound the little lamby’s ass Kiwi style. Unless of course you are a Kiwi, in which case you do whatever you want to your little lamby’s ass)… to flatten

1 tablespoon each lemon zest, chopped rosemary and picked thyme

1-2 cups breadcrumbs, plain flour and eggwash to coat

a good pinch of sea salt

  • Mix the breadcrumbs with the herbs, lemon zest and salt
  • Dust the lamb rumps in flour, then eggwash, then breadcrumbs to coat. Do it twice if you want extra crunch
  • Shallow fry the schnitzels in hot oil for 1 minute each side
  • Drain on absorbent paper for a minute
  • Serve with mint sauce (recipe follows) and sauteed herbs and crushed potato, or whatever ever sides your mind can conjure up. Or even whack it in a bun for a cracking burger…



½ cup cider vinegar

¼ cup castor sugar

a big handful of mint from that herb garden you surely have going by now

  • Warm vinegar and sugar until sugar is dissolved. Allow to cool
  • Add chopped mint leaves, or add them whole and then hit it with a stick wizz
  • That’s it
  • Tell yourself some things really can be that easy

Seriously, this is some of the best at-home-by-myself-cooking-up-some-meat lamb I have ever had the pleasure of putting in my face. Honestly. Please kids, do try this at home.