it’s gonna flood

it’s bloody wet in my neck of the woods at the mo’ and there’s a definite chance of being flooded in, and abandoned by the outside world…. just the way i like it!

i truly enjoy it.

so it’s time to load the fridge with beer, and maybe a little whiskey for later on, illegally download a shitload of new release movies and get a big pot of gruel on the stove to sustain you in this, your time of need. well…. we might be able to do a bit better then a pot of gruel. i’ll turn to my favourite rainy day staple, a big ol’ pot of ragout (or stew).

you’re gonna need-
4kg stewing/braising beef or lamb or some quality sausages, cut into good size chunks
(feel free to replace some of the meat with du puy lentils or white beans for some more fibre or a fun way to stink out your loved ones. and it really is delicious)
2 carrots, peeled, medium dice (1cm ish)*
2 celery sticks, same treatment*
2 brown onions, same again*
6 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed, or 2 Tbls minced garlic from the rancid smelling jar a the back of your fridge
some kinda bouquet garni**
1 cinnamon quill
2x 400g tin chopped tomatoes
1 bottle of red wine

first, have a glass of red. it’s cold. it’s wet, and let’s face it, you’re not going anywhere.
heat a large heavy based pot over med-high flame, add one Tbls oil followed by the meat and a bit of salt and pepper. brown meat until starting to caramelise nicely and a lovely smell fills your kitchen. remove from pot. add mirepoix to pot with another Tbls of oil and cook out for two minutes. add garlic and cook for a further minute. add meat back to pot and deglaze*** with remaining red wine. all other ingredients go in…… now. lid on, reduce heat to low and simmer for 1.5 hours. i guess this could also go into a slow cooker?

taste for seasoning and check the meat is tender. garnish with salsa verde and serve with pasta, polenta, steamed rice, potatoes of any description, in a pie or jaffle, etc, etc.

*these three veg are also known as a mirepoix, which forms the base of many french stocks, stews and sauces. remember that, ok.

**usually a combo of bay leaves, parsley and thyme sprigs tied together and used flavor stocks, soups and stews, but removed before consumption. it gets bastardised no end these days so feel free to chuck in what you want.

***this one i’ll let you find out for yourself as you clearly know how to use a computer.

5 responses to “it’s gonna flood”

  1. yo I wanna have a flood party, what food should I serve? I want to do it from canned stuff.
    What can I make with limited fresh ingredients????? I’ve got tinned tomatoes, spam, some beans and tinned potatoes. Fresh ingredients I have are lettuce and pumpkin. I also have some qinuoa and shit loads of parsley.

  2. 3 carrots
    Half a capsicum
    Half a cucumber
    Tin of toms
    Soy sauce
    Half a green chilli
    Random spices
    Baked beans ( canned )

    • Aah Queenie. The original “what am I going to cook with this”.

      For a long time Queenie would pester me every coupla nights or so with a phone call or a text. “I’ve got blah, blah and blah”, he would say. “What can I make with that?” I would give him a few instructions and off he would go, maybe calling once or twice as he went, just to make sure he was on the right track.

      A year or two later and he has stopped calling me. Maybe we’ve just grown apart, I thought. Fallen out of love, if you will. Maybe it’s because he’s married now and his wife, Veronica, can cook better than me. Surely not. Many different scenarios were flying around in my head… but here he is. He’s back. He’s returned to me. I am in love again.

      Not a lot in the old cupboard tonight fella. I think you should get some natural yoghurt on the way home from work and I’m also hoping sumac is one of those random spices. You’ll also need a handful of parsley and mint from your herb garden (and if you don’t get that by now you probably never will) and you should also put the baked beans back in the cupboard and have them for breakfast tomorrow.

      Get me a beer and let’s start. Middle Eastern salad type thing with tomato rice.

      Brush the bread with olive oil and sprinkle it with sumac. Cut or tear into largish croutons and toast in the oven, 180C for 10-15 minutes, or until crisp and golden.
      While that’s in the oven, cook a cup of rice 1.5 cups of water and 1 tin of tomatoes with the juice. Once it comes up to a simmer reduce the heat to medium, cover and cook for 8-9 minutes. Check rice and cook for another two minutes if it needed, season.
      This salad is based very very very loosely on a fattoush salad, which is well worth a go if you ever get the chance. Chop the cucumber, capsicum and chilli, pick the parsley and mint leaves, feel free to add and other leaves you may have hanging around, peel two carrots then shred them into strips using the aforementioned peeler.
      Toss that sucker with the croutons.
      Dress with olive oil, lemon juice and salt and pepper.
      Hit it with a couple of tbls yoghurt and sprinkle the whole sherbang with extra sumac. Please tell me you have sumac.
      Eat it with the tomato rice in the side.
      Show her that you can still cook too Queenie.
      Power to you brother…….

      PS. send me a photo

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