A little update on your progress

When I first started this blog, I was (and still am) writing a cook book. A cook book that I think will help people to be able to cook more intuitively, free-flowing, naturally, and some other words that hippies like to use. I did have ‘from the heart’ but Jenny said it sounded like dumb crap and made fun of me until I cried.

I’m OK now.

I hope that once people learn a few basics, what ingredients like to hang out together, how to season food, where to go crazy and where to employ restraint, what cooking method is best suited to a dish and the person cooking it… etc. I’m not here all day. But I hope that they will become better cooks. Fuck, I’m really starting to sound like a foul-mouthed version of Jamie Oliver right here.

So here are some points I would hope you have learned by now, because you know the old saying ‘the teacher is only as good as his students’? No? Well I just made it up. But you get the picture right?

• Life is really good if you have a vege garden or a herb garden or a fruit tree. There are no excuses not to have something by now, unless you have no arms with which to hold a watering can to keep your plants alive. In which case I would still expect you to try and sustain them with your saliva. If this fails, you win

• Seasoning is an integral, nay, THE part of any dish. You must always check you seasoning. But don’t go to hard if you are unsure or unexperienced. Many a young man has fallen prey to this unfortunate predator over the years. Slow down, go easy. You can always add a little more if you need to. What am I talking about?

• Recipes should be used a guidelines (unless you want to recreate an authentic or traditional dish, in which case you should follow them to the letter). If you like heaps of garlic, use heaps of garlic. If you’re allergic to fish sauce, use soy. If you don’t have chickpeas, use lentils. Are you getting the picture? I hope so. This blog is certainly not totally about self gratification and ego.

• It’s really good fun to learn about new ingredients. Whether that be in your sex life or in your kitchen. Who knows, maybe you combine them both? If not, maybe you should give it a try? It saved my first marriage… but unfortunately ruined my next three.

Back to that golden point, learn about new ingredients. Go to your local farmers market and don’t be afraid to ask questions. I hate to think I am doubting your intelligence, but the farmers spend a lot of time with their product, growing it and eating it, or in the case of my cousin the duck farmer, some things that can only be viewed on something called rude tube? There are times where it is likely to be the only produce in their larder, so they are bound to know a thing or two about cooking it, or pleasuring ones self with it.

And they spend their days on their farms talking to their animals and fruit and veg. So the markets are a bit of a treat for them aswell.

• Grandma’s cooking is always the best. Followed closely by mum’s. Remember that and pay attention to what they are cooking whenever you can. Take notes, ask questions, write recipes down if you can. Too many great recipes get taken to the grave. It’s our responsibility to pass them on.

• Lastly I just want to make sure you are cooking good food more often now. Not buying your lunch everyday? Not eating takeaway every other night in the week? I worry about you. I really do. I want to know you’re eating well. Life’s really too short to not eat good food. Because (and this is where the jingle would cut in if I had one)… foodisthebestshitever

And from the soapbox, that’s G, over and out.