“An ode to Bargearse” by my wife Jennee… aka dumpling night

So the time has come for me to enter into my husbands “other” world. He tells me tales of this world that are laced with adventure and excitement, naked women throwing themselves at him and the adoration of a nation of fans…. so I thought I should get me some o that!!! I, not unlike the g man, have spent a year or two in a commercial kitchen with the sweat and anxiety of service hot on my heels. I have come home caked in sugar (bahahah- that’s my first hilarious pun) from my days in the pastry section and have been yelled at a number of times for not getting the chips to cook faster. And as you can probably tell by my lament of times gone by, I have left the kitchen to graz, and have found a life where the only burn I get is from the sun. However, I do the odd cameo appearance and every now and again when I can wangle my way into the kitchen past gray (he usually gives me a small portion of the bench to work my magic) I churn out what can only be described as , pretty much amazing (copyright… chitty bang)….
So I have just spent the weekend at my lovely sisters house and after a heated discussion (as in every discussion is heated as it’s the tropics!!!) about yum cha (I am pretty sure that anyone who is a semi regular follower would know our familys love for this sport). My son chose the meal for the evening before he fell asleep on the journey home… and you guessed it- dumplings…Seba rolled more than half of the 40 that we made and ate about the same amount..
Granted this meal is not the type of meal you would make on a school night after a 9 hour day and with the kids breathing down your throat whilst trying to kill each other. Unless of course you have the small hands and dexterity of a china man who has spent the good part of his life working in a dim sum factory!!!!! However, if you have the time these little nuggets are pure gold… We did them 2 ways- steamed in the swell new steamer that Queenie gave gray for his bday and fried- as in potstickers ( my personal fave) and served them with an Asian slaw. However if you wanted to channel the 90s character made famous by the “D-generation” comedy crew, you could go bargearse on these suckers and have “a shitload of dim sims and a bucket of soy sauce!!!!!”

Note the concentration…………..

The eye patch helped him focus!!!

Seba on the job…..

The dumplings
I whizzed up an onion with shitloads of coriander, parsley and mint and a few cloves of garlic as well as a knob of ginger,
I added this mix to some pork mince and then added some fish sauce,…
Sorry about the quantities- but I am off the chef clock so my measuring system is such… you cant go too wrong – unless you add shitloads of fish sauce- then it might go pear shape!!!!

As for Asian slaw, I shredded, cabbage, snow peas, carrots, and ribboned cucumbers the dressing was whizzed up cori, mint , lemon juice, palm sugar, fish sauce and dried shrimp…. DAMN FINE!!!!!!!!

I couple of things have come to my attention today. After the last couple of posts it appears like we may be running an illegal child labour kitchen type set-up at our house (we don’t even give them a shirt for goodness sake), and clearly with poke them in the eye with a stick if they don’t work fast enough… I can neither confirm or deny these allegations. Also, and I think Pauly’s going to feel this one too, Jennee seems to have a delightful mix of our humor and writing styles with less (or none even) gramatical errors. Well done Jennee! – G

13 responses to ““An ode to Bargearse” by my wife Jennee… aka dumpling night”

    1. Jen says thanks. She’s pretty stoked someone liked her shit…

  1. Written and expressed perfectly (may need to work on paragraphing but hey, this is about food!) 🙂 Great style and great food…child labour seems to be paying off, as does the poking in the eye…dumplings look wonderful 🙂

    1. You have access to plenty of children don’t you? We should talk…*insert evil plan hatching music here*

  2. Let’s just say that if some of my students mysteriously stop turning up to school and your dumpling production dramatically increases, I promise not to ask any questions 🙂

  3. “and have been yelled at a number of times for not getting the chips to cook faster.” hahahahaha, so true, pretty impossible task unless you have super powered eyes that can cook shit by looking at it! Looking at these dumplings made me so hungry, yummy yummy dumplings.

    1. So not true. Tell them to cook faster…

  4. Those are some talented little fingers – good looking dumplings!!

    1. Very talented fingers indeed. I’m trying to get him on the grand piano. Child genius styles…

  5. Seba looks like one bad mo’fo with that eye patch.

    1. He is a bad assed mofo Noz. Not unlike yourself my good man…

  6. Well put, I am Chinese and I have yet to channel the dexterity of a china man or woman when making these… 😉

    Either way they look moreish and perfect for a nom…

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