I seem to be flooding the market a bit here and I do fear the price of foodisthebestshitever stocks may fall a little, but it’s a chance I’m going to have to take…

For Jennee (an appreciation post)

Just to follow the pack, run with sheeple, copy the carnies etc (and maybe because of a bit of gentle goading from my friend Laura over at Laura’s Mess. Yeah click it, I dare you), I have decided I shall do an appreciation post, an ode to my wiffy, an homage to Jennee if you will. Apparently this is quite the done thing in the blogging world right now; taking a moment to thank those you love the most for putting up with you cooking them great meals and taking them out to eat more great food so you have something to blog about… wait a second here. Am I a little daft? Doesn’t this sound like they may actually be getting a pretty good deal? And is the world really round? And do carnies really exist only in my worst nightmares?

Maybe I should just let Jennee answer these questions and more all by herself…

Good Jennee. Jennee smart.

1. 1.    What are the best and worst things about being married to a food blogger?

Well the best thing about being married to a food blogger is the continual amazing feasts that occur.  The worst thing is the continual feeling that you are a hollywood star and the paparazzi is hot on your heels and needing to document ALL of your meals.

1. 2.    Out of the props that Grazza uses (not necessarily just in the kitchen… well not necessarily just to cook with in the kitchen anyway), what’s your favourite?

I feel the best prop that Grazza uses is his charming good looks and witty repertoire… oh and that Boogie Nights-esque zucchini in the pants number he brings out when the kids are in be…d… whoops- too much information???

1. 3.    What’s the weirdest thing that you’ve seen him do for a blog post?

This one time, when we were safariing at the Dubbo zoo, I saw him cover himself in rhino dung and “camp out” over night in the zebra pen in the hope that he could take one down and cook it South American style over his home made asada (we don’t travel light!).  He did, and it was awesome, however he had to drive a different car home.  I don’t know whether anyone out there has tried to get rhino dung out of their hair, but it aint pretty!

1. 4.    What’s your favourite recipe of Grazza’s?

I could make some funny comment right here, as I am pretty sure you will all agree, that that is pretty much all I got… But… after the decade of wonder that I have been privy to as the wiffy, I have come to love, nay obsess over this one dish.  I like to call it my “death row meal”.  It is Grazza’s crispy pork belly with three flavor sauce, pickled cucumber, sticky rice and coriander.

1. 5.    If you had your own blog, what would it be called?

Probably “the top bitches blog of fantastical wonder and amazement”.  I am not sure what it would have in it… probably just tales of misdemeanors and general adventures that are my every day life.

1. 6.    Do you have a favourite blog?

You mean there is more than one blog?????? Gray keeps me in a cupboard and tells me that his is the only one in the whole world?????? I feel so abused right now…

1. 7.    How do you cope with the constant photo-taking/social media/blog world craziness?

I like to channel the awful reality TV show, of which I have not seen an episode of, but seem to be “up to date” with all that is happening in it just from the grocery store line “Keeping up with the Kardashians”, and pretend that I am a two bit no talent hack, botox laden, big butt, small waisted woman and pout like a fish with every photo that is taken… the only thing is , he never takes any of me, its always the damn chorizo!!!! I feel like if I wrapped myself in prosciutto and doused myself in chilli sauce, maybe I could catch my darling husbands eyes!

9. Who does the dishes?

Me, I have control issues, and no one does it as good as me… I am in therapy, and slowly but surely I feel I can overcome this issue. But not this year.

10. What do you do for your day job and what are your favourite hobbies?

My day job is trying to wrangle wayward youths from remote communities into some form of socially acceptable form fit for human consumption… I attempt to do this via programs that include graffiti workshops and surfing ( I know- it’s a tough life, but someone’s gotta do it!) I also moonlight as an obsessive controlling sex worker that speicialises in fetishes involving nappies (oh wait- no that’s just the book I am writing).  My hobbies include, reading the dictionary and reprogramming computers.

11. Do you think you get a pretty good deal with all this great food you get to put in your face?

WELL, that is a tough question. I definitely feel like I get a GREAT deal, although, we are from Viking decent, so we like to feast, not only on virgins and booze but on food, that is flowing and full of goodness.  Unfortunately, our Nordic forefathers predispropose us to a condition the requires us to eat too much.  This in turn results in me having to go to the gym on a daily basis in order to keep my boyish figure of yesteryear!  So yes I definitely have a cracking deal, better than any friend of mine that is relegated to not only doing all the cleaning but the cooking as well, something that I find what you would call, a raw deal!

12. Is the world round?

It depends what dictionary you read.  Oxford dictionary circa 1250 states it is flat, however there have been some upgrades since then, all of which I have not read yet.

13. Do carnies only exist in Grazza’s head?

Funny you should mention this actually.  Normally I would have said yes, in Grazza and Austin Powers’ head, although I recent jaunt to the Lismore Show has compounded my belief in the fact that the illusive carnie does indeed exist.  And they are toothless, smell of cabbage, have small hands and no idea of what personal space is….and what a toothbrush is?

So that’s my Jennee. I feel with all this pressure that I should thank Jennee for whatever it is that she has to put up with. So thank you Jennee. You’re a top bird. A top bird. I lurv you Jennee (insert Forrest Gump-esque speech right there).

And let us end with a minutes’ silence and a brief photo montage of the many shades of Jen… and now she can get back in her cupboard!