Gelflings exposed

Gelflings… the real story

 

People have been getting confused. Confused as to why I call Sammy a Gelfling. Well clearly it is because that is what she is.

 

Idiots.

 

So I am here to dispel a couple of myths about the myth that is the Gelfling.

 

  • Gelflings are neither gypsies, nor dwarves. Although small, and known to have gypsy-like characteristics (like theivery and tomfoolery), they are not related
  • A Gelfling is known from time to time to cut lose a wicked tune on his or her pan-pipe like flute type thing. I don’t know what this is called
  • They love to play pictionary, but don’t like to lose
  • They extend their families with others they grow a bond with. I don’t think this makes actual sense
  • Gelflings are vegetarian. Sammy has  a lot of meat cravings going on right now so there is a chance she could be booted out of Gelflingness by the Gelfling Grand Poobah (maybe she’s craving a different type of meat?). She raises her fist in defiance and challenges any Gelfling who is apposed to a sausage every now and then (once again not sure if we’re talking about the same thing).
  • Most Gelflings live in huts made of stone and other old school shite. They don’t have computers, TV or the 21st century, but they do have an awesome old three eyed old chick who does a random 3D cinema thing
  • They have strange looking pets. See photo above.
  • Most importantly, or touching or just whatever, Gelflings make friends for life, so if you are lucky enough to come across one you know she’ll be your friend forever. Awwwww…

 

And what have Gelflings brought to the table that is the world we live in today? Well that’s a toughie… I’m certainly offending Gelflings everywhere right now… I don’t know… cuteness? A job for pointy ear ear-muff factory workers?

 

That’s all I got…