The humble hamburger

The humble hamburger. Where did you come from, my friend? And what brings you calling so late at night?


First thing is first. I just want it to be known that if the man (or women…. No, definitely man I think) who invented the hamburger holds a special spot in my heart for his genius, but also sorrow for the food atrocities he has spawned upon the human race. I compare him to the guy in ‘Terminator’ with Arnie when he was still a meathead actor and not the meathead governer… you know the guy who discovered the technology that lead to the computers taking over etc, etc. He did such a great thing for mankind, yet it lead to very terrible things to happen in the future and then he blew himself up…

Secondly, a hamburger is not now, nor has it ever been made from ham (although I have seen quite a few being made by hams. Or to be fair, people who were not quite as smart as a ham. Or as good looking)… best I can figure is that the modern hamburger originates from the German port of Hamburg. It was here, during the mid 19th century, that the poorer population enjoyed a chopped meat patty (both raw and cooked) they called ‘the Hamburg steak’ or ‘steak served in the Hamburg style’. At this time many migrated to North America and it is thought that they may have bought it with them… and then someone put it into a bun, opened a fast food chain and got rich off obese Americans… well, maybe not. At least not straight away anyhoo.

The burger. Total genius. Something that can be breakfast, lunch or dinner. A meal that can be enjoyed sitting down or on the run (or sitting down with the runs, if you know what I mean). A meal enjoyed by rich and by poor, by kings and queens, and prostitutes and drug addicts. It can be dressed up and made all cheffy (or wanky) and be found on menus of top restaurants worldwide with a price tag of 30 to 40 bucks and beyond in some places, or just a easy, no frills attached Sunday night dinner. It’s a dish that can be made with any main ingredient with nothing but some bread as the common denominator. Beef, fish, chicken, lamb, legumes, tofu, it all goes. To infinity and beyond…

Also. it may be said, a burger goes beautifully with a jug or two of beer, and they hold good texture and colour for the laying of the late night vege patch.

What a crazy meal. Just effing brilliant!

The whopper

I am a fan of a Hungry Jack’s burger, or, to be more specific I am a fan of a ‘whopper with cheese add beetroot heavy everything’. Yep. Extra mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickles, onion and ketchup. But no beetroot anymore. My old friends have taken that option from me. So now it’s the old favourite, sans the beetroot. Sure it’s not everyday food but… I just get a craving sometimes.

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