Pauls Caul… Last call… something

A Tuesday in Perth

Two Pauls and one Lauren, this sounded like a good ratio for a fun day (get you filthy minds out of the gutter) and a Tuesday none the less, not your usual day for an adventure unless you’re…
• Unemployed and found a thousand dollars
• On holiday and in a foreign state/country
• Have a week off work in-between jobs
• You where struck in the head and unaware of the actual day
• Or you’re a chef

Between the three of us we were nearly all of the above, but unfortunately for my bank account it wasn’t the first one on the list. So let me set the mood, turn down the lights of unknowing and light up a few scented candles of knowledge, my dear friend Paul had visited me and it had been nearly 10 years since we had worked in Thredbo together, so this alone was reason enough to hit the town… yet Lauren was also having a week off between jobs so all our drinking stars had aligned and left us with no choice but to get out there and do our very best to do our very worst.

Since Paul had never been to WA we decided a trip on the swan river was in order, and since I couldn’t find any L.S.D anywhere a boat trip would have to suffice. Then I remembered that I don’t own a boat or in fact know anyone with a boat, or even like boats for that matter (I actually do like boats, just not when they’re on water) so I brilliantly came up with a solution. We would get a bus to the Barrack St jetty and have a pint at the Lucky Shag. Brilliant as that plan was I found we still where not on the river and whilst I was being mocked for ordering a mango beer (delicious it was by the way) I came up with another more water orientated plan and this was Baldrick like in its cunning, my plan was as followed…
We would finish said drink get a ticket for $1.80 and take the ferry across to south Perth, it was the simplicity that was so amazing and the less then two dollars we had to spend which just sealed the brilliance of this plan. So off we went on the Swan River and let me say it was a thrilling 5 minute adventure on the open water, on the way I let my Face book people know what we where up too, it was along the lines of “south Perth come at me” so we disembarked from ‘S.S Boring as shit’ and strolled over to InContro, one of my favourite restaurants.


And InContro did not let me down, it always has such professional staff and amazing views, this much is a given. But what makes it stand out for me is the fact it is run by true hospitality folk. Anna, who runs front of house is my kind of person. Anna is real. She is a beautiful lady who knows people and really knows how to run a restaurant. She is not someone who is in the industry until something better comes along or until her non-existent acting career takes off. If I could clone Anna I would and risk the backlash from all those religious folk that think dolly the sheep was the wooly devil.
As Anna was making myself and my guests welcome Pete the chef came out from the kitchen to welcome us as all great chefs should, he walked straight up to the table and already knew both Pauls and Laurens names, we where very impressed and surprised until we worked out he had seen our for mentioned Face book check in and cleverly guessed we where heading his way. Very sneaky Pete very sneaky indeed!!
But then as usual Pete enthusiastically suggests that he just sends out some dishes for us all to share, this gives me tingles in places men should not make me tingle, so after a quick grey goose caprioska our first few dishes came out it was a ‘talegio and pumpkin Arancini’ which I love as taleggio is my favourite, but a small point for all of you out there especially wait staff… Arancini actually means risotto ball so if you call it arancini balls what you’re saying is ‘risotto ball balls’ … it like saying ATM machine it’s a small thing but it really annoys me*.
My rant aside it was delicious and came with another dish of Victorian pulled curd cheese (I forget the name) regardless it came with Spanish anchovies, oven dried tomatoes and pesto, it was served to us by our waiter in old school silver service style (nice touch when done well, and it was).
Next came a cake stand with Lamb cutlets, Mandurah whiting and Rottnest scallops all were delicious and superbly cooked as you’d expect from Pete and his team.
In the mean time we had drank our way through one bottle of Joseph pinot grigio and a 2008 Hensche Mt Edelstone so we were as to be expected very happy with ourselves, the state of the universe and everything else.
But we were still not willing to let this lunch end so we asked for the menu, I already knew what I wanted as the steak tartare here is exquisite, then tragedy struck they had removed it from the menu. So I asked Pete if he would be so kind and without any hesitation he obliged me and went to make me my tartare, my counterparts ordered the half duck to share. When my tartare arrived it was sublime, Pete serves his version of the raw beef and egg dish by allowing the customer to create there own dish, he serves it with all the possible accompaniments and you get to add whatever you like, for me it…. Raw beef, egg yolk, shallots, chives, capers, gherkins, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper….amazballs!!!!
Their duck was also cooked to perfection but I was to busy relishing in my tartare to really care. We then ordered three serves of their chocolate filled donuts with ice cream, as you’d expect donuts, chocolate and ice cream are delicious!!! Who’d of thunk it….

We left nearly three hours after arriving and would have been very happy to stay there forever but we decided to leave and find our way towards Il Publico as there was a Mexican fiesta about to happen and felt it our duty to be part of it. We ferried it, taxied and walked our way to Beaufort st and decided to drink a bottle of champagne in must wine bar before entering the Mexican…this in hind sight was unnecessary and a tad over zealous.

Il publico

This review will be a lot shorter as quite frankly I was completely smashed and it all seems like one hazy memory in my mind. But the tequila with sangria was a revelation and amazing, their taco’s where incredible, their corn was scrumptious and the mescal was the final nail in my drunken coffin. I had gone there to see my friends Micah (or micha as the flyer said) and oli dj but I barely lasted till they arrived, I did manage to see them have a quick chat with the gang as well as chat to Liz another friend that was there…but what I said to anyone is a mystery to me, I did manage to get home thanks to a very friendly Iraqi gentleman who as far as I remember liked boxing, wrestling and an Iraqi restaurant on Wanneroo rd (must find that one next time).

All in all a great day with exceptional company, food and alcohol had by all and by all I mean me… Perth is a great town with so much to offer so stop your complaining people learn to have fun and if that isn’t working get really drunk.

*I think that it is fair that this “special” way of using words annoys you. It annoys me quite a lot too, my good man. G

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