The Stockdale – Cootes Cook-off


Somewhat of a tradition, it is time for the annual Stockdale – Cootes cook-off.

The last event was won by the Cootesy’s, but was marred with controversy, as there was a late inclusion of two junkie whore judges, and the winning dish, a nice soft dessert, was the only one the junkie whore judges could stomach. Also one of them was a junkie whore vegetarian, rendering both Stockdale dishes useless. This was a bad judging system…

Sore? I don’t think so… I just like to report the facts. Sore is my ass on a Friday night when ‘Big Black’ comes out… damn you Big Black.

Picture an old western movie. One with Clint Eastwood in it. The Stockdales are like Clint Eastwood. And you know the other actor who was in the old western movies? No? me either. That’s what the Cootes are like.

To paint a picture for you… well, to paint a picture for you I need a canvas and some paints. But I can do a ‘metaphorical’ picture for you using simply ‘my words’… and simple words they shall be.

Both teams moved under the cover of darkness. Carefully hiding their ingredients and menu choice from the others. The Cootes even had ingredients flown in specially by chopper. I think I heard Jen on the phone talking to a guy called ‘Marco’… there was a lot of whispering involved… Fierce was the preparation. no quarter was asked or given. Neither team wanted the title of ‘the second best family’.

But there could be only one winner…



First was the Cootes. Polish style pulled pork hock (yeah. That sounds rude to me too), sour cabbage, potato gratin, beetroot, and rocket and beetroot jelly salad.


Secondly the Stockdales. Confit chicken, fondant potatoes, silly onions, chorizo croquette, carrot puree and chicken jus

It was a tough call for our esteemed judging panel

At the end of the day both the judges and peoples choice awards were given to the Stockdales. Well done lads.

The Cootes are left pondering their loss, and quite possibly wishing I had a food blog when we had the last cook off. But I didn’t. So that’s it.

Stay tuned for someone else’s version of events… unless of course it sounds cooler then my version.


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