Like a lot of good stories this one starts at the beginning. It has a middle and an end. Although it does not necessarily like getting its end wet. I, on the other hand, enjoy the wetting of ones’ end from time to time. If you are not Australian, or are at least descendent from convicts, get your cross cultural slang sexual reference book out for that one.

We’re on the same page now, yeah.

So you may remember my cousin AJ the duck farmer and used tea bag collector cum roving reporter for high end food blogs. If you don’t that’s ok. It doesn’t really hold any relevance to the story.

As this goes to press (yeah I know. What a wanker [grab your cross cultural slang sexual reference book again]) AJ is on a holiday in Darwin.

Start.
He messaged me last night and introduced me to a wonderful new experience… Being happy to hear from him. With his msg came an attached photo of his dinner, “the bad boy burger”.

Middle.
This beast needs to be hunted down and killed. It looks like something you would see on Man v Food. It could be a metaphor for the way humans live today. Consume, consume, consume. Over- consume and then consume some more. But damn I want one.

End.
I can feel it king hitting my arteries. I see it clambering for the top rope. The “Bundy Splash*” is imminent, and it will be my heart to take the brunt of the impact. That is certain. Well, that is what I think would happen if I ate this monster.

Bad Boy Burger from Darwin Ski Club—can you handle it???
200g home made prime mince pattie, a whole chicken breast, ham, bacon, cheese, egg, fried onion, lettuce, tomato, beetroot, pineapple & tomato relish served on a toasted bun with crispy chips

*The “Bundy Splash” is a move made famous in the mid 80’s by WWF legend King Kong Bundy.