Troppo fried chicken burger


In Australia when we add pineapple to a dish we are automatically granted permission to rename name the dish with tropical as the prefix. For example; a pork chop that has a pineapple ring added to it may now be a tropical pork chop, a pineapple sorbet is now tropical sorbet and fast food joints are champing at the bit for their yearly tropical chicken box or tropical burger special.

If you had come from an upper middle class 80s Australian upbringing you may have also used tropical in post-title context eg. Fried chicken tropicale or something else equally as 80sesque.

Now, because we are Australians we can also be excused for abbreviating the word tropical to troppo as, well, that’s just what we do. We abbreviate the heck out of whatever the heck we want and we don’t even apologise about it.

Friendly tip #42. Season your chips* with a little of your favourite chicken rub too


TROPPO FRIED CHICKEN BURGER

(Serves 4)

4 burger buns
2 x 250 g (9 oz) chicken breasts or 4 x 120 g (4 ¼ oz) chicken thigh fillets, breasts sliced along the length into 2 thinner fillets, thighs left whole
2 eggs, beaten
150 g (5 ½ oz) potato flour
2 tbls your favourite chicken rub, plus a little extra to season
Oil to deep fry
4 slices smoked bacon, grilled
4 slices cheddar cheese
4 slices pineapple, fresh if you can, core removed and then grilled until slightly caramelized
Shredded iceberg lettuce
Mayonnaise

Marinate the chicken in the rub for an hour or two.
Roll the chicken through the egg mix and then the potato flour.
Give the chicken a little tap to remove excess flour.
Heat your oil in your deep fryer to 160°C (325°F).
Now fry the chicken for 4—5 minutes, until cooked.
Season the chicken with extra chicken rub and a little salt.
Need instructions about how to layer this bad boy? Let’s start with mayonnaise on the top followed by lettuce. Now from the bottom we go bun, chicken, cheese, bacon and then pineapple.

*burgers are pretty much always accompanied with chips (fries) and a tasty beverage (beverage).

A tasty good burger

best hamburger recipe
There are a few things I don’t often shy away from in this life.

A good burger, helping an old friend and helping a old friend make a good burger… that and carnie racing. I really love carnie racing…

Recently I was asked for a recipe for a tasty burger, hence my stupid little anecdote. Needless to say, the words that follow will indeed help my old friend, and also yourselves, to make a tasty burger in the comfort of your own home.

Also, after a lot of trial and error I have decided that I like a burger pattie that is around the 150g mark or even slightly smaller. There was once a time when I truly believed bigger was better but since having employed my new burgertechnology ™ (and experience gained from that one time I ended up in a prison cell for the night) I have come to the conclusion that bigger is not actually always better. Littler can also be better sometimes. I have indeed fallen in love with the slightly crumbly, yet still hella juicy texture of the thin-ish pattie. That’s another kinda pointless little story to add to the collection.

Fry den beef patties and then get some cheese on top so it melts damn you
Fry them beef patties and then get some cheese on top so it melts damn you
Burger mis en place
Burger mis en place
Do not, i repeat, do not forget to make some chips (fries)
Do not, I repeat, do not forget to make some chips (fries)
It's good to put it all on a plate so as not to get your table all dirty
It’s good to put it all on a plate so as not to get your table all dirty

TASTY BURGER (serves 4)

500-600g beef mince
Salt and pepper to season
8 slices Jack cheese or tasty cheese
4 buns that you think you may like to encase your burger
20 slices pickled cucumber (there is some in the burger sauce but add extra if you are a pickle fan. I am a pickle fan)
A few lettuce leaves. I like the crunch and refreshing crispness of iceberg but what ever you have in the fridge will do the job
A few slices of tomato, sliced thin so the whole burger doesn’t collapse into your lap and make it look like your navel just gave birth
Tasty burger sauce (recipe follows)
Oven chips to serve

• Make 4 balls out of the mince, keeping them fairly even in size
• Squash them down with your hand or a pizza tray or a lump of wood, so they are about 1cm thick
• Heat a little oil in a hot pan or get your grill/bbq nice and hot
• Season patties and cook over highish heat for 2 minutes
• Flip patties and put two slices of cheese on each. Cook for another 2 minutes for medium doneness
• Assemble with tasty burger sauce, pattie, pickles, tomato, lettuce and then more tasty burger sauce on the top
• Get that shit into your face

Burger sauce and flowers. Pretty as fuck... and really tasty too... except possibly the flowers. I didn't eat the flowers
Burger sauce and flowers. Pretty as fuck… and really tasty too… except possibly the flowers. I didn’t eat the flowers

TASTY BURGER SAUCE AKA. RUSSIAN-ESQUE DRESSING

1 cup mayonnaise
¼ cup tomato sauce (ketchup)
¼ cup diced onion (from roughly ½ small onion)
¼ cup chopped dill pickles
2 teaspoons yellow mustard
1 teaspoon each Worcestershire sauce and hot sauce

• Pulse all ingredients in a food processer until combined or chop the onion and pickles nice and fine and mix it all together in a bowl
• Left over dressing is really good to dip hot chips into, or pretty much just put it on everything…

Getting ready
Getting ready
Fully going for it. Really tasty stuff. I thanked myself for this one
Fully going for it. Really tasty stuff. I thanked myself for this one

Winner winner, smoked chicken burgers for dinner

smoked pulled chicken burgers
This week my eldest son Seba, informed me that he thought it was about time he got the hang of smoking.

I could’ve have been concerned and demanded that he stopped hanging out with that tough crowd down the street because they were obviously leading him astray, but I was pretty confident that wasn’t the type of smoking he was talking about. You see, around foodisthebestshitever HQ the main type of smoking we talk about is the smoking of meat.

Once again I could understand how this could be misconstrued, but believe me when I say there is nothing biblical nor quick-cash-earning about this type of smoking of the meat. Also, you should just get your filthy mind out of the gutter, this is my kid we’re talking about here…

So at this point, this 10 year old product of coital union between myself (I think) and my dear wife Jennee almost has me in tears. The lad wanting to follow in the foot steps of his old man, manning the pit and feeding the hoards who desired the smoky goodness. I was damn well impressed. This was definitely a proud dad moment for me.

After a little light reading of a few of my favourite BBQ books Seba declared he thought he would like to spatchcock a bird (his words not mine) and smoke it for a few hours.

Sound idea… except the butcher was sans whole birds today, so I suggested we may need to settle for some chicken breast, possibly pulled and sauced and made into burgers.

Seba was agreeable, so we purchased said breasts and the rest, as they say, is history.

Big Red Rub, butter and breasts... sounds like my kind of party
Big Red Rub, butter and breasts… sounds like my kind of party

Smoker, Fiskars X25 block splitter, beer brewed by the Coopers family and a full watering can just because safety doesn't take a holiday
Smoker, Fiskars X25 block splitter, beer brewed by the Coopers family and a full watering can just because safety doesn’t take a holiday
Seba get's that chicken in the smoker. The task seemed pretty easy for him...
Seba get’s that chicken in the smoker. The task seemed pretty easy for him…
Seba rolling those boobies through the red butter
Seba rolling those boobies through the red butter
Starting to turn into some really sexy breasts
Starting to turn into some really sexy breasts

Loaded as fuck
Loaded as fuck

SMOKED & PULLED CHICKEN BURGERS

(serves 4)

3x 200g chicken breast (free range, yeah. Give the little chooky a half decent life at least)
1 tablespoon Big Red Rub
1 tablespoon butter
BBQ sauce
4 burger buns (I like a slightly sweet milk bun, but I’m sure what ever you choose will be fine)
Lettuce leaves, tomato, cheese, mayonnaise and sliced jalapeno to served

• Rub chicken boobs with butter and then Big Red Seasoning
• Set aside in the fridge to marinated for an hour or so
• Get your weber or upright smoker or whatever it is you use to smoke things ready to go. Somewhere around the 110-120C is the temp I like for this sort of thing
• Smoke chicken on a tray for approximately 2 hours or until cooked through. Turn the chicken and baste with juices every 30 minutes
• Rest chicken for 10 minutes
• Shred it, pull it, do your thing
• Check seasoning and adjust with salt and pepper if necessary
• Moisten chicken with 2-3 tablespoons of BBQ sauce and pile onto burger buns layered with the other ingredients. I shouldn’t need to hold your hand through this one by now, but if I do… well… I’m just not going to. Here is a picture of my 10 year old son sorting it out all by himself. That’s all

Honestly. This is Seba just rocking the "I got this pops"
Honestly. This is Seba just rocking the “I got this pops”

This was seriously one of the fucking best
This was seriously one of the fucking best

Byron Burger Australia, Byron Bay

byron burger australia
As we approached Byron Burger Australia my first impression was that it looked like what I thought a burger bar should look like and that made me happy. It had seats and tables, really happy staff who seemed genuinely happy to be at work, a grill to cook burgers on, and a menu that declared that many of the ingredients that would be cooked on the aforementioned grill were sourced locally. Bang on! The only thing missing was beer, but I was happy to let that slide and grab myself the southern white trash teeth-rotting standard – the Mountain Dew. Yep, I did the Dew.

I feel I need to say that I do not often “do the Dew”, but every time I do it reminds me of a joke…

There’s these three woman (of whatever race, colour or creed you decide they should be because I am certainly no racist or hate mongerer, just a regular guy of whatever other race you want me to be… I think I need to go now) talking about their lovers… heard it? I don’t even care… anyway, they’re talking about their lovers – comparing them to soda. The first woman says “my man, my man he is seven-up… because he has seven inches and they’re always up”. The second says “well my man is Mountain Dew… because I always need a mountin’, and he always do”. Then the third says “well my man, my man is Jaaaaack Daniels”. The other two in unison, “girl, that ain’t no soda pop, that’s one damn fine liquer”. She says, “I know”.

But these here pages are not all about the jokes people so let’s get back to the food, and more specifically, the onion rings.

You might get to see the postman ride past from your seat...
You might get to see the postman ride past from your seat…

They had crisp crumbed onion rings on their menu, which I can tell you now is enough to make me crisp in certain regions of my anatomy, but when I tried to order them they were out. Done. And it was only 11:45am. There was something amiss with that whole onion ring situation but I soldiered on…

The burgers arrived and those nice peeps behind the counter of this fine establishment must’ve known how to make it up to me because the burgers had a guindilla stabbed into them like the tribesman’s spear into the head of the visiting Englishman. Guindilla = happy Grazza! Anyone who doesn’t know of the guindilla is probably also incapable of using google so I feel it is my responsibility to inform you that it is in fact a pickled chilli of the Basque Region, and also damn tasty!

Tasty tasty tasty
Tasty tasty tasty

As were the burgers.

Grilled local beef, seasoned perfectly, gently held aloft by the right amount of salad and a tasty bun, and the addition of a big fat slab of melting blue cheese on mine (the Byron Burger with Blue Cheese, $14.50). A good burger indeed!

The boys both opted for the Tropical Lighthouse ($14.90) with all the usual culprits plus bacon, cheddar and grilled pineapple. I tried a bite of this bad boy and it made me very happy inside my belly. In fact, I will return one day to eat one of these burgers all to my self.

Look at that guindilla just begging me to get in there
Look at that guindilla just begging me to get in there

Chips for the table were perfectly cooked and crisp, and if I remember correctly they were only 4 bucks. Yeah, 4 bucks. I love a bowl of good chips for 4 bucks!

We left happily satiated and thanked the Northern Rivers region for giving us another worthy burger joint… in that same leaving process we also notice that they had a $12 meal deal with a burger (your choice of the Surfer Chick or Byron Burger with Cheese), chips and drink which seemed like a pretty damn common sense option and one I would definitely be back to take advantage of… but let’s face it, at the end of the day the cracking burgers were going to be plenty enough to get me back.

Well played Byron Burger. Well played indeed.

Great wall art by Fabien Fuego
Great wall art by Fabien Fuego

Byron Burgers facey is just a click away

Jennee’s Sunday Spread… and I’ve got no quarrel with Monday

SAMSUNG CSC
I got no quarrel with Monday. I know people who don’t like Monday at all and would smile if they saw it shot dead in the dusty street of an old western town.

Me, I’m like, “Monday what the fuck is going on my brother/sister?” (I haven’t decided on the anatomy of Monday yet)

“Not much white boy”, says Monday, sounding much like an African American stereotype from a 90’s comedy. “What’s doing with you?”

“Just growing a beard and shit,” I would say. “Coming off the back of a fully sick weekend. Ate lots of really good food and drank a couple of tasty tasty beverages and hung out with a bunch of good kents*. Good times all ‘round. I’m not going back to work until Wednesday either, so I’m just going to relax into this whole “new week’ thing.”

“Nice steez”, say Monday. I carry on as if I didn’t hear him/her though, as I am not actually sure what “steez” means.

I return to the couch where I reflect on the conversation that I have just had with a day that I have turned into a weird, androgynous, Chris Rock-esque type character. I decide there is nothing strange going on here. I have nothing but the sound of my cousin, Amelia, vacuuming in the background as the sound track my normality. On a side note, if Amelia ever asks you if she might stay for a while, I would suggest that your reply would be a clear “yes”. She is an absolute dream to have about. She is at least as OCD as Jennee with her cleanliness, even down to the arrangement of the cushions on the couch. And to top it all off, she doesn’t smell at all. You probably don’t know Amelia though, rendering this information I have just conveyed to you useless.

Suck it.

Burgers, sausages, oven chips and a heap of good shit to whack into the buns including home made kimchi and cucumber kimchi. Hashtag mynewfavourites
Burgers, sausages, oven chips and a heap of good shit to whack into the buns including home made kimchi and cucumber kimchi. Hashtag mynewfavourites

Get amongst that shit
Get amongst that shit
That bbq got the big thumbs up from Jennee's brother Queenie
That bbq got the big thumbs up from Jennee’s brother Queenie

We combated the 40C heat with a cracking barbecue, a bunch of good kents*, cold beverages and plenty of pool time. The kids were still in the pool at 8pm, which meant more drinking time for us… I did question weather this may be a prime example of bad parenting but my brother Matt informed me that it was in fact good kidding. I like the words that man says.

Falafel and friends
Falafel and friends

Tomato salsa
Tomato salsa
Bean salad, tzatziki and flat breads
Bean salad, tzatziki and flat breads
Flatbreads and falafely goodness
Flatbreads and falafely goodness

To top off our eating of delicious things, Jennee and Amelia prepared a kickass feast of vegetarian stats for her now legendary “Sunday Spread”. The fresh, good, falafely, salady din dins was just what the doctor** ordered. Like, I literally ordered it. I spoke with Jennee from my place of work via the electric telephone, when she inquired as to what I may want for my evening meal, to which I replied that it should be something fresh, good and salady to combat the small farm I had consumed the previous night.

All good team.

Here is the recipe for the flat breads that Amelia made to go with the falafel. Happy Monday you bunch of good lents.

Grillin' flattys
Grillin’ flattys

AMELIA’S COULD-HAVE-BEEN-A-JAMIE-OLIVER-RECIPE YOGHURT FLAT BREADS

300g self-raising flour
300g greek yoghurt
Seasoning

• Mix it all together
• Roll or press it out so it resembles little flat breads
• Brush with butter or oil in fry or grill for a minute each side
• Eat in your face with some other good shit

*Good kents; A term of endearment. Something you call your closest friends. Only in Australia. (Not the actual spelling of the phrase but hopefully you get the picture because there is no way in hell I am writing the actual word because if my mother ever saw it she would take her 39 year old son by his ear, get the soap out of the bathroom and ram it down his dirty little gutter mouth)

**not an actual doctor, but I am more than happy to take a look for you

Warm-up burgers

Yes, yes, yes
Yes, yes, yes

I have been thinking about this burger for a long while now. Well, actually I’ve been thinking about it since this morning… or maybe a little closer to lunch time.

But you don’t really give a single shit about that though, do you?

My friend Laura, who has herself a nice little blog all of her very own called Laura’s Mess, taunts me with remarks of a day where we will meet up in the real world (the world that is not inside your computer) and we will engage in the ancient tournament known as “the burger off”.

There will be festivities. We shall taunt the court jesters and laugh at their funny hats. We will share anecdotes and food alike. Booze shall be passed… and quite possibly wind, too.

I chose to think of today as training for the burger off. I was trying to get my eye in… fine tune the toppings… and really see how much this bun could take.

I thought it would be a good idea to pickle my own beetroot and cucumber, make my own mayonnaise and tomato sauce and even sour my own sauerkraut as to really instill a little fear into that girl. Next time I may even bake my own bread. Yeah, I can feel your knees trembling now Laura. Smiley face.

These were some of the finest burgers I have eaten during my time on this mortal coil and believe me, there have been a few.

Seba was happy with the make-your-own-burger spread
Seba was happy with the make-your-own-burger spread
I was happy with this sucker
I was happy with this sucker
Although he is not smiling, Obi was happy with his burger too
Although he is not smiling, Obi was happy with his burger too

WARM-UP BURGERS (per person)
200g-ish good quality beef mince
Salt and pepper to season. I should be able to simply call it “seasoning” by now, but I know for a fact that just aint going to be enough information for some of you…
1 rasher bacon or a similar pork product
1 bun, toasted
Lettuce, beetroot, tomato, pickled cucumber, sauerkraut, mayo and tomato sauce to serve
• Season the mince and form it into patties
• Cook patties for a few minutes each side. Cook the bacon while you’re at it
• Assemble
• Eat
• Smile to yourself with over-confidence about this burger off