Paul’s Caul… Olympic special from the land whenst he was born

Olympic special… the joining of many nations rings…

Everyone loves the Olympics right? For some it’s about their country getting gold or just watching sport in general. But not for me, for me it’s all about the emotion of the competitors. Let me explain the scenario I’m talking about…

Picture a young eastern European girl at the age of four decides (maybe not by her choice) to dedicate her life to being the best in the world at throwing a small yet heavy metal ball as far as she can, now sounds like an easy mission but whilst at these crossroads she in that split second inadvertently gives up on ever really looking like a woman again. And lets face it gain a very useless skill, so she continues on her mission with no sex life to get in the way, she becomes the best in her country because lets face it only about ten or so people ever took it seriously. She’s now in the Olympics it‘s her time to shine, her whole life of sacrifices have led to this moment as the entire world watches on.

Then this happens…
1. The commentator calls her name out incorrectly and no one seems to care
2. She throws the small yet heavy metal ball ¾ the distance that the rest of the competitors do
3. She is eliminated in first round
4. She goes back to her country with most people non the wiser

Now is it just me but I think this whole situation is hilarious…

Oh it is just me, and what’s that you say? What have I ever achieved?

I don’t think we were talking about me…. Lets get back to laughing at people that try really hard and fail ☺

Graeme asked me to do something from my homeland (did you all like that Segue?) so if you don’t already know I’m from England or, to be more precise, TEAM GB as we like to call it.

Now as far as food from the great isle goes its hard to narrow down specific cuisine, we tend to have taken bits and pieces from many country’s and made are own out of it, but lets face it if you look back through history we took a lot more then cuisine (cough cough Australia cough)

For me there is nothing more English then a greasy full cooked breaky, a pork pie and a Sunday roast, in fact I have just described what most English men eat every Sunday.

But what I’ve decided to give you is a very simple condiment to make that goes well with basically all meats. But it’s given to you with the understanding that you will serve it with some good English sausage in a bun whilst watching someone fail in any Olympic event of your choice. Seems very fair to me…

Mustard Glaze
4 tomatoes
5 eschallots
4 cloves garlic
300 ml white wine
1 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
English mustard 1/3 cup
Dijon mustard 2/3 cup

• Chop up all ingredients except the mustards and place in a pot and simmer for ½ and hour or until all blendable (yes Carla, I made this word up)
• Once blended add the mustards, you can add more if you like but general rule of thumb is 1 part hot English to 2 part Dijon
• That’s it… very simple but extremely delicious and great with steak as well.


Remember children, trying is never enough if you can’t win. Either cheat or fuck off and hide. ☺

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