How to get a guy horizontal part II


As Pauly has already informed you, we have a request from an avid follower for a meal to cook a guy to get him horizontal* if you know what I mean. And not like rowies in his beer either. Lets get a little more creative and tap into what is still usable of the right side of your brain eh.

Pork belly. Ribs. Girl on girl action?

Jennee suggests that ribs and slaw may be a choice for me. But what about the general populous of males out there? Jen claims she doesn’t know. Hehe. Top bird my Jennee. Top bird. But seriously Jen… Waddayareckon?

Still goin’ for the ribs n ‘slaw option. She says that’s all you need. Oh, and garlic bread.

I say yeah but nah. We need more than that surely. What is man to you? Simpleton? Sex symbol? Toy? Gravy boat? I hope so (even though I’m not sure what the gravy boat thing is about).

Actually, go the ribs and ‘slaw option** with a carton couple of beers just to top it off. And your company is very important to us, too.

And now you’re just thinking this monologue is shit. I’m shit. My point is about as apparent as a small Romanian woman with a headscarf in a line of refugees… You know it’s there but you can’t really differentiate it from the filler. Or maybe you don’t even know it’s there… Like the bit of skin between a mans ball sack and his bum hole… What was the point again???

Does it really matter? I think if I keep drinking this bottle of red I’ll have my name on a tin of cold baked beans later on. Yeah, even I do it. Unbelievable. You’d better start re-writing your thesis right now.

In conclusion I will say I do believe the meal should involve some kind of meat on the bone (should I leave that one alone? Yeah, probably a good idea) just to evoke some of that deep seeded caveman desire to take a woman and ravish her. Maybe even have a wooden club discretely placed for him to only-just-notice and awaken the ancient Adonis within. And it cannot hurt to have stickiness to the meat. If he has to take his food stained shirt off after dinner then that’s going to help the night come together a whole heap easier.

Shit, it’s like I’ve actually done this before.

I haven’t PS. Maybe been a little curious or dished out a half-assed attempt or two, but…


*May not have been actual words of requestee.

**There are recipes for this sort of thing all over this blog. So maybe I do like this sort of shite. Gosh… I’ll do what I want.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: