Curry for when one of your friends unexpectedly calls to say he’s in town and wants to catch up except it should’ve really been unexpected because he told you a few days ago but you had a few drinks after work last night to celebrate the fact you don’t need a reason to celebrate and somebody clearly spiked your drink BTW because today your head is really effing sore and it is forgetting shit it should remember, is the full title for this post but had to shorten it a bit for ease of delivery. Kinda like a lot of my Asian friends abbreviating their name so us whities can actually say them.

It pains me to say it, but today I wouldn’t trust myself to sit the right way on a toilet seat… But I could still pull together an effing good curry.

The curry
1 whole chook, chopped up into 10 pieces like the little fellow at the Asian butcher does it
2 tins coconut cream
1 tin diced tomatoes
1 brown onion, diced
1 heaped tablespoon each ground cumin, tumeric, paprika, chopped garlic, julienne ginger
1 cinnamon quill
4 cardamon pods, bruised in a bar fight
1 branch of curry leaves from the garden
seasoning
fresh coriander to serve
•brown the chicken a bit with a good knob of butter, then add the onion, garlic and dry spices. Save the ginger and curry leaf until last. Cook that out for a couple of minutes and then add the coco cream and tomato, and simmer for half an hour. Add the curry leaves and ginger and let it simmer for another 10 minutes. Eat it in your face with your old friend and a heap of random stories about a different time. And make some sides just so they know you’re still OG.

Raita. Curry with raita is good. And it’s easy to make and you can use the leftover as a dip or as an aromatic remedy for thrush.
1 cucumber, grated, mixed with a teaspoon of salt, and left to strain in a seive for a couple of hours
2 cups natural/greek yoghurt
A hobbits handful of mint
A pinch of paprika
Seasoning

Cook some pappadoms. Don’t be a tight ass. Get the effing pappadoms. They cost like, two bucks for about 100 wafer thin disks of glory. And they just keep coming. When you think you’re getting towards the end of the pack and you think “I’ve got enough but eff it. Theres only a few left. I’m just gonna cook ’em”… and you end up cooking another 30 fricking pappadoms. .

Green chilli purée. Sometimes I like a purée of green chillis with olive oil and a bit of salt, just to liven up the party a little for those who like it hotter.

And yes. I am still working on the sweet and savoury caper challenge.

I think that’s all for tonight.

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