Lamb loin chops because the fam is away

So I have a bit of a ritual. I know you’re thinking surely not Grazza, but yes, I have a ritual… and it goes a little like this; once a month or so Jennee takes the boys on a drive up the coast to visit her sister in Brisbane, aka Brisvegas. When this happens I go up to Scotty the butcher, grab myself a few lamb chops, pop next door to George’s shop, grab myself some beer and maybe a bottle of wine if I think my morning can deal with it, and then I drink and cook myself up a dinner of lamby choppy goodness… mostly because Jennee really doesn’t like chops (unless they’re mutton chops. Elvis style)… and it is usually consumed around 9pm (which is well past my bed time on a school night).

Now today (which is now yesterday. Crazy I know but that’s what we can do with technology these days) Jennee took the boys up the coast to visit her sister but, in possibly a fleeting moment’s thought, I decided I was going to venture up the road to the mobile woodfired pizza joint that frequents this area every Friday night (you will hear more about this place in a future foodisthebestshitever) and get myself a pizza dinner, but then… I got talking to my friend and fellow chef Matt over a quiet beer and he happened to mention (by the power of grey skull and the universe and whatever) that he was cooking lamb chops for dinner. Well I tell you now that was it. I jumped straight into my carnie-drawn cart and trotted straight up to our local butcheria. I announced myself as a paying customer and said to little Scotty (there are two Scotties at the butcher. One is called “Scotty” and the other is called “Little Scotty”) “Do you have lamb chops left my good man?” to which he replied, “I have three left, will that do you?” “Jolly good”, I said, “bag them up good fellow”. He chucked them into a bag for me, I paid him his due repentance and then back home it was for me. Which is where I find myself now… getting ready to cook some lamb… it may not be quite 9 o’clock yet but I am truly excited…

In the words of the late, great Ramones, Let’s go!

LAMB CHOPS FOR ONE LONELY MAN (who is hungry)

3 lamb chops, chump or loin are good for me

1 sprig rosemary

1 sprig oregano

2 cloves garlic

some chilli if you like chilli… I like chilli

half a lemon

olive oil

seasoning (that’s salt and pepper yeah)

a splash of red wine (I knew there was a reason I got that too) to deglaze the pan

• Marinate the lamb with all of the goodies above
• Cook the lamb how you cook lamb chops. If you are a bad person you will slaughter them with loads of time in the pan and then eat them straight away. If you are a child of god you will give them a couple of minutes either side and then rest them in the pan off the heat… if you are a child of god…
• When you are ready to serve (after a good 5 minute R’n’R break for you and the chops) remove chops from the pan and administer some more flame. Deglaze the pan with that red wine you’ve been saving for the next papal visit and reduce to a saucy trollop… err, consistency
• Serve. Sauce on top, sautéed veg on the side

SAUTEED POTATO, ZUCCHINI, OLIVE AND FETA

3-4 small potatoes, boiled until just cooked and then sliced

½ zucchini, sliced

a handful of olives that you like

a small chunk of good feta

oil to cook it in. Duck fat would be a good substitute

• Sauté the potatoes and zucchini over a medium heat
• When browned and sexy looking (not too sexy looking. They’re never going to be a Princess Leia, or maybe more recently, a Queen Amidala) combine with the feta and olives and maybe a bit of parsley if you have some, and make it look sexy (you know the drill) on the plate… or the floor. Depending on how you roll
• Don’t go to hard on the salt in here because it’s going to get olives and feta remember. Olives and feta… salty products… they will help to season the dish… bah
• Add the lamb and you have yourself a meal
• Well done

… and here’s me just chillin’ by myself. Sometimes no matter how much lamb you eat it’s just not a worthy substitute for a good family.