Loaded ass jacket potatoes

A la my recent reports on the virtues of trialing new BBQ techniques and having leftover smoked meats, here is another recipe/anecdote/bit of dribble to keep that leftover meat out of the dog’s belly and turn it into another cracking meal to make your face smile…

This time we’re talking potatoes. Everyone love potatoes, right? Jacket potatoes on the coals are the next step upwards toward the heavens for the humble spud too, right? Stuffed or loaded jacket potatoes are fully nek level fo’ sho. No denying. Am I correct?


I thought so.

Are you keeping up?

That’s OK, neither am I… I drink way too much coffee to be able to keep up with my head… that shall not stop me from moving on though…

These potatoes are cooked to a point where they are damn well close to being labeled as a potato god and then their potato-y lily is gilded with an array of ingredients that make it even more attractiver. If a girl potato walked by these Adonis’ of the potato world, they would hook up for sure… well, there’d be a cheeky wristy involved at the very least.

I am heaps good at English, ay.

Wrap your taters and make them nice and warm

Saute an onion good and proper

Fill ‘er up


(serves 4)

4 fist sized potatoes (I have a decent sized fist)
1-2 cups of smoky or roasted meat leftovers, chopped and heated
2 tins of baked beans or the equivalent from your last batch of homemade sexy beans, heated
100g cream cheese and/or grated cheddar cheese
Sauteed onions
Sour cream
Hot sauce
BBQ rub, chives and parsley to garnish
Leafy salad or ‘slaw to serve

Splash a little olive oil on your potato, season with a little salt and pepper and then wrap in alfoil.
Get some coals in your fire pit or BBQ or even in your fire place if you’ve got it fired up, and place potatoes around the edge, just nudging the coals a little.
Rotate potatoes every 10-15 minutes for 40 minutes or until soft in the middle – a good poke with a butter knife should be a pretty good indicator of this.
Using tongs or your tough-guy hands, remove potatoes from coals and set aside for a minute so they are not searing hot when you are trying to serve them.
Cut a cross through the middle of the potato so you may open it up a little and fill it with tasty good things and not at all because this is going to be kinda a religious experience.
Fill with beans followed by cheese, meat, sautéed onions, sauerkraut, sour cream and hot sauce if desired.
Garnish with garnishy things and serve with something green and leafy on the side.
Thank me later.

So ugly but so damn beautiful

New Zealandy snow posts coming right up…

Bavarian Bier Cafe, Eagle Street Pier – a wunderbar eating experience

*This is a shitty photo alert*
*This is a shitty photo alert*

The first thing I noticed was the heat. It was going to be a warm one today. It was already being a warm one today and I was kind of a little unhappy with the 24hr air conditioning at Queenies house (Jennee’s brother and our host for the weekend) that was fooling my brain into thinking the celsius was actually hovering somewhere at or under the 20C mark… Silly, silly brain. That brain o’ mine really needs to be a little more on point than that, I mean, if it’s going to make all of the important decisions around here.

So it was hot, I dealt with that.

Secondly, the whole of the Brisbane CBD 20-to-30-something-old male office crew seemed to be divided as to whether it was the light baby blue shirt or more of a pastel salmon pink shirt that was to be decreed office uniform for 2016.

I was rooting for the pastel salmon pink myself.

Thirdly, I was really, really hungry as I had skipped a proper and complete breakfast in favour of an extra coffee in preparation for the sausage fest that would be ensuing this midday (not that kind of sausage fest – I would have needed at least a complete and proper breakfast to get my energy levels and longevity up if I was going to be rocking that kind of sausage fest), so it came to pass that I should move away from the street corner and stop with my pointless observations so we may go and fill our bellies with a big fat pile of steamy German sausage (once again, not that type of sausage) and, to a lesser degree, some kind of soured cabbage product and a hopsy, malty type beverage or two.

I'm pretty sure this is compulsory for your first time on a pretzel
I’m pretty sure this is compulsory for your first time on a pretzel

We were keen. The waitress came to get our drinks order and we hit her with the lot.

NB It is also worthy of note right here that our waitress was quite a pretty young German lass, no piggy tails or ridiculously over-ample bossom, but German none-the-less, and if this is the type of effort these Bavarian Bier Café folks are willing to put in, searching the globe for the right candidate etc, then I was certainly going to allow myself to be very impressed and even compliment them on their attention to detail.

Really tasty home made preztels
Really tasty home made preztels

The pretzels ($4.5ea) hit the table, neck and neck with our first round beers. Pretzels are good, and so is beer. Fact.

Next up the waitress arrived with our meals – a pretty good idea on her behalf because the beer on an empty stomach thing was doing nothing to subdue my pangs of hunger.

Our table quickly filled up with pig and pig products, cabbage-y things, potatoes and more beer – everything would expect from a Bavarian Bier Café. I was certainly stereotyping the heck out of these people by now, but they are my people so I felt it was OK.


The Sausage Tasting ($28) was so full of sausages it looked like Ian “Huey” Hewitson, or possibly the fat German kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, was still holding my plate. All the while I could not decide weather I was thinking more about the fat guy (I know it’s not PC but it certainly is the truth) sausage fingers or the scene from “Freddy got Fingered” when Tom Green makes the sausage mobile. “Daddy would you like some saus-sage. Daddy would you like some saus-sage-ges?”

Needless to say I gobbled the shit out of a heap of sausages this day and I loved every goddam second of it. All of that sausage gobbling did not even bring back one single bad memory of waking up on the wharf with a pocket full of fivers and hair gel all through my beard… There were a couple of sausages that were my favourites but at the end of the day I kinda got caught up in the heat of the moment and before I knew it there was a flurry not dissimilar to that of Cookie Monster on Sesame Street, some gnashing of teeth and the sausages and sauerkraut and mashed potato with beer sauce and mustard were all gone.

Definitely one of the tastiest knuckles I've been hit with in a long time
Definitely one of the tastiest knuckles I’ve been hit with in a long time

So then we moved onto the pork knuckle.

Along with the Volkswagon, this half pork knuckle ($27) was another true triumph of German ingenuity; crispy on the outside, moist and tender in the middle, and served with some more tasty potato and cabbage products, and apple compote. Tasty shit.

We had no space for dessert so we were out of there to wander a-little-bit-pissily through the streets of Brisbane.

All in all a great job by the Bavarian Bier Café. Wunderbar!

Reiberdatschi… My Nana Rose’s Potato Hashbrown/Rosti/Pancake

Whenever I use a recipe of my Nan’s on a menu or these here Blogland pages I allocate credit due. I would happily tell every one I met about the food my Nan would make for us because the way that lady cooks is a crazy, intermingling, goat cart driven journey of hearty, soul warming comfort food and childhood memories and nostalgia fixes. And well it should be, she is my Nana after all. The funny thing is though, when I tell her about the credit I’ve given her for those recipes, she kinda doesn’t believe me. She humbly chuckles and, in her still cracking after being here for sixty something years German accent, she says “Oh, Graeme”, and then chuckles a little more, not quite grasping that I would seriously put her name on a menu or why people would love the war torn, poverty born dishes that she has been cooking for all of those years. She chuckles some more when I thank her for the umpteenth time for all of the inspiration her cooking and love for the love of food has given me. I pull my phone out and show her a picture of a menu or specials board where I have credited her for a dish as, although I never make a point of trying to beat my Nan in an argument (well, I would never argue with her regardless but if I did I certainly wouldn’t be winning), this is a story she is going to have to believe. I think she is still dubious, which is fine with me now, but I really do hope she knows how much her cooking means to me…

My Nan has been getting some mad props on these pages recently, and here is another favourite of ours as children, and now a favourite of my children, that she may or may not believe I have told the world about.

My mum would put onion and bacon in hers but Nan stays the purist, stating that back in the old country (not that she would say it like that, I just think it gives the statement more of an authentic, post world war two type feel) the reiberdatschi would often be eaten with sauerkraut, but some times they would be garnished with sweet stewed apples – so the onion and bacon just didn’t go. Another vote for the sweet camp came from my Grandad, Jo, who ate his simply sprinkled with castor sugar. I seam to recall us eating fat piles of these things flavoured quite simply with the all-purpose seasoning of my youth – tomato sauce (ketchup), and lots of it! You can make your own grown-up decision on how you’d like yours to come.

However they came, our bellies always cheerfully received these reiberdatschi. Whether for breakfast, lunch or dinner, these things are the shit!

Fry those suckers up. Do not listen to their screams as they will feel no pain soon
Fry those suckers up. Do not listen to their screams as they will feel no pain soon

Stack them up on a plate, you'll be needing a few each, and dress with your favourite sides
Stack them up on a plate, you’ll be needing a few each, and dress with your favourite sides
Yep. On a plate
Yep. On a plate


1 kg potatoes (sebagoes work well but at the end of the day, I’ve used most common varieties with pretty similar results), grated
and squeezed of excess moisture in a colander
1 onion, small dice
2 rashers bacon, chopped

1 egg

2 – 3 tablespoons flour
A good pinch of salt and pepper
Oil for frying
Eggs (cooked would probably be best), bacon, tomato relish, cherry tomato salad (the boys want cherry tomatoes with everything at the moment) and parsley to serve

• In a large bowl, mix all ingredients thoroughly to combine
• Heat a good splash of oil in a pan over medium-low heat
• Form medium handfuls of mix into balls and press gently into pan with a spatula until 1cm thickness. An average pan is good for 3-4 reiberdatschi per go
• Fry until golden brown on the first side, should be 4-5 minutes, flip and fry until the other side is also golden and crisp. Drain on absorbent paper. Keep in a warm spot
• Continue frying the reiberdatschi in batches until they are all done
• Season with a little more salt, garnish and get it in your belly

Mexican Hangover Rolls

What more do you need?
What more do you need?

Mexican hangover rolls

Firstly I would like to make it clear that you do not need to be Mexican or have a hangover to enjoy these rolls… you also need not have a Mexican hangover, even though I’m not quite sure how the hell that would work. But if you do want a hangover to eat this roll it is really quite easy to obtain;

1. I would suggest a trip to the local bottlo* and pick yourself some booze. If you pick two to three different types of alcohol, say, beer, red wine and scotch, you definitely have more chance of obtaining your hangover
2. Now you need to take this alcohol to the cash register and pay the cashier for said alcohol
3. You have just realised that you didn’t bring any money because you didn’t read all of the instructions properly before you left, did you? I have told you previously, always read the whole recipe before you begin. You are making this really hard for me…
4. Go back to your house, or your cave, or the old tree down by the swamp, or wherever it is that you stash your money, get some of that money and take it back to the bottlo and pay the nice man/lady (they will probably be looking at you like you are quite simple by now, but that is because you are quite simple)
5. Now that you have your booze, drink it. Drink it all
6. Once all booze is consumed go to sleep – anywhere at all should be comfortable by now
7. The next day you wake up. Voila! That stabbing pain you feel in your head, coupled with the fear of sunlight and loud noises, is a hangover. All of those things with “olé gringo beetch” at the end is a Mexican hangover

Or maybe you possibly think this would be more authentic for you if you actually are Mexican. This will require years of practicing the language, followed by a period of illegal residency and then possibly marriage to a partner with a large black moustache, a penchant for day time naps and a bestie who is a donkey named Raphael. Good luck.

Cooking the chorizo etc might look like this
Cooking the chorizo etc might look like this
Loaded up and ready to help
Loaded up and ready to help. This is one hell of a sandwich
Cut it in half if it is too big for your mouth.Don't apply the "cut in half" theory to all things that are too big to fit in your mouth...
Cut it in half if it is too big for your mouth. Don’t apply the “cut in half” theory to all things that are too big to fit in your mouth…
Keep taking photos while you think you're not
Keep taking photos while you think you’re not

4 big fat rolls, or a full Turkish pide. I just thought about the Turkish bread and I think that is going to be the “effing hell yeah” way to do this
3 smoked chorizo sausage, sliced
2 medium potatoes, boiled/steamed whole, cooled and cut into medium dice
2 red capsicum, diced
1 brown onion, diced
A large handful of coriander/parsley/watercress
4 eggs (or 8 eggs if you want 2 each. Yeah, I’m great at maths too)
oil and butter for frying
Salsa picante, sour cream and fresh coriander to serve
• Put chorizo, potato, capsicum and onion into a large frying pan or baking pan, splash with some oil and pan fry/roast until it’s starting to get some colour and the sexy red oil is coming out of the chorizo
• When the chorizo and potato mix is done, fry your eggs. I like to fry mine with a good knob of butter and a splash of oil (if you need to fry your eggs in batches do so, and set aside until the sandwich goes together)
• Slice the bread in half so you can fill it and then layer the chorizo mix on the bottom, followed by the eggs and a bit of seasoning… and even a bit of cheese if that’s how you roll
• Place the lid on top and then cut into portions** to cook
• Brush the top of the sandwich with herby chilli oil (recipe follows) and panfry or cook in a sandwich press until they are looking good
• Open sandwich, add salsa, sour cream and coriander
• Eat it. Wash it down with a cerveza, or possibly a tequila if you’re feeling hard core
• Go back to bed. Nighty night

1 teaspoon each chilli flakes, dried oregano and dried thyme
1 tablespoon olive oil

*bottlo. A place of good repute that sells bottled (and sometimes boxed) alcoholic beverages

**you can cut this beast into portions and then panfry them or smash them in a sandwich press or, to be an absolute boss, cook it as 1 big sandwich on your bbq hot plate and portion it at the table as every trash-bagged mofo looks on in totally awe of your presence in this world

Pork porterhouse (porkerhouse) “saltimbocca”

Jump in my mouth right now
Jump in my mouth right now

Saltimbocca is the Italian term (meaning jumps in the mouth) that loosely refers to something that is wrapped in prosciutto and sage and is done with just about everything these days; chicken, fish, veal, pork, your girlfriend… certainly guaranteed to spice up your evening if nothing else. And if you’re anything like me you wouldn’t have a problem with your lover bringing the literal translation to the party either… maybe you had a bit of “saltimbocca” from your lover last night? Good on you, you dirty dog.

Hmmm, that’s making me think of possibilities… and I’m on holiday without my Jennee by my side to fulfill these gentleman’s food/bedroom time fantasies. A quick trip to the local newsagency should sort me out for a day or two I guess. But to the fridge quickly before that; partly to see what we have on hand, partly to cool off my throbbing member. Aaah, that’s better. I’ll just settle for a nice dinner for now…

Yes that dinner shall happen even though we were up at 5:30am (yes, that’s in the morning… before the sun wakes up). We shall eat like the kings whores once again… without needing to perform indecent acts uponst each other for the elation of the king. Winning.

Pork –check, bacon (this will do the job of the prosciutto for today) – check, sage (there’s a big fat bush of this stuff out the front of the holiday house) – check, beer (it’s good to go into my face. Just saying) – check. I’m good to go.

Wrap your porterhouse up with more pork and some sage leaves
Wrap your porterhouse up with more pork and some sage leaves. These were pre-seasoned with some random butcher’s combo but still worked just fine

Pork porterhouse (or porkerhouse as I have decided to call it) “saltimbocca” with kipflers and apples (for 3)
3 porkerhouse or some kind of grilling steak
3 rashers bacon or prosciutto
9 sage leaves
9 medium kipfler potatoes, scrubbed and boiled until almost cooked but still firm. It won’t be a biggie if you forget about them and cook them all the way through, it just means they won’t hold their shape as well
2 granny smith apples, peeled, cored and sliced into 8-10 wedges
½ brown onion, peeled and cut into wedges bout the same size as the apple
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon seeded mustard
1 handful of parsley, chopped
1 cup of cream (I may have had a couple of holiday beers and don’t feel like walking my ass down to the shop so I don’t have any cream, thus will be winging it tonight. So this is how I would’ve done it, but alas this holiday fever has rendered me inept)
• Start by wrapping your porkerhouse in a rasher of bacon with a few sage leaves tucked under there for saltimbocca-ness
• Now get your kipflers into a pan with a bit of oil and get them happily sizzling over a medium heat. You could probably even cook the vegetables in the oven if you wanted to, but I didn’t, so I won’t be helping you with that one today
• While the kipflers are happily doing their thing get another pan on for the porkerhouse. Add a splash of oil and get those porky little effers sizzling away too. Med-high heat is good for the start, but you may need to turn it down after a few minutes depending on the size of your porkerhouse. This is an intuition thing and I trust you entirely. Start with 2 minutes each side, then flip it again for another 2 minutes each side. It should be starting to feel pretty good by now. Just firm. Not too squishy. I like my porkerhouse not quite cooked through, so I’ll be leaving it to rest now. Save the pan and the juices though, we’ll make the sauce in that
• The potatoes should be almost done, so add the apple and onions and a knob of butter. Sauté until it’s all browning, caramelizing and starting to look and smell really good. Season
• In the pan you cooked the pork add the vinegar, mustard and cream. Simmer for one minute to get the flavours going. Season and add parsley
• Plate it up however you see fit
• Eat
• Enjoy your time on holiday… oh no wait, that’s me

Monday dinner #2… fresh snapper rocks my world more than Britney Spears


Ooops I did it again, blah blah blah blah, dah diddy dah, I like it like that.

No, I am not magically transporting you back to the year 2000 to a chart topping hit for a drunkard white trash caravan park kid, and I certainly won’t be hitting the stage in a red lycra onesie any time soon. It is more a statement from me to you declaring that I cooked another cracker of a Monday dinner last night. That’s right, I cooked another great dinner and I am man enough to admit it! Must be a little early Christmas cheers getting to me…

I know Monday is doomsday for a lot of people; the start of a new working week, packing school lunches, getting the family back into the week day routine, kids yelling, you yelling, and finally being able to take a sip from the bottle of gin you have hidden in your knickers drawer. Not for me though, I’m Chirpy McChirples on a Monday. Make the lunches, drop the kids at school, have a coffee, catch up with any cooking show watching I may have missed out on the past week, have a little sip of that gin in my knickers drawer, then spend the afternoon immersed in mis en place, a nice piece of meat, pots and pans, and maybe a beer or two, cooking dinner for my favourite peeps in the world… my family. Some times they even show up, which makes it all the more enjoyable. Yes, I am loving the Monday arvo cook-ups like the drunken mother loves the ease of a chip sandwich and cold baked beans dinner. Baaayoootiful luvvvie.

…and it just so happens that this week I have a few fillets of local snapper in the fridge, which is pretty much my favourite fish ever, so I know this cook up already has a kick-ass head start. You might not be able to get fresh snapper, hell, you might not even like snapper (what are you? Another snapper??), so use whatever fish is fresh, affordable for you (even I know Christmas is coming) and most importantly, a fish that your taste buds tell your brain tastes good.

I'm pretty sure the label says "marinated white anchovies"
I’m pretty sure the label says “marinated white anchovies”
The sautéed goodies with a few white anchovies
The sautéed goodies with a few white anchovies
Put it all together on a receptacle of your choosing
Put it all together on a receptacle of your choosing
Serve in the pan if you are OG
Serve in the pan if you are OG


4x 180g snapper fillets, or whatever fish you like to eat, just make sure it’s fresh!! (you could also use 700-800g whole fillet of fish and cook it on the BBQ or even oven bake it at 200C for 15 or so minutes)

5 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into wedges

200g green beans, trimmed

1 clove garlic, chopped

zest ½ lemon

juice 1 lemon (zest ½ of it first)

2 tomatoes, diced

½ cup olives

12 white anchovy fillets

1 handful parsley, chopped


  • Put the potatoes into a pot of water and simmer for 5 minutes or until almost cooked. Strain
  • In a large pan on a medium heat, sauté the potatoes in a good splash of oil. Toss regularly
  • While potatoes are cooking get the fish on. In a pan big enough to fit all of the fish, heat a splash of oil over medium heat. Season fish on the skin side and place skin side down in the pan. Cook the fish for 3 minutes on the skin side, by which stage it should be getting crisp. Turn the fish and reduce heat to low for another 2 or so minutes (unless it is a thick fillet in which case you’ll need to give it a couple more). Turn the pan of and let the residual heat finish the fish nice and gently
  • While the fish is resting finish the vegetables. Add the green beans to the pan and sauté for another 2 minutes, then add olives, tomato and garlic and turn heat off. Add lemon zest and parsley and toss. Check seasoning. Dress with a squeeze of lemon juice and olive oil if it needs it
  • Serve on plates or bowls or bricks or tiles (as is now the vogue), with the sautéed veg down first, drape that with a few anchovies and then top with the fillet of fish