I wondered into the house yesterday afternoon, after another big week at work… yeah I know, they’re all big weeks, get over it… anyway almost immediately my senses were quite literally assaulted by this awesome beast (please see pic above/below/somewhere on this page). If this bird had any life left in it, it would have actually barged its way out of the oven and fly-ran* up my body, finally reaching my ginger-topped summit, and jabbed it’s small wings into my mouth and nose like it was trying to face rape me… that’s what this thing did; It face raped me!
It was a sight for sore senses… or just my eyes… well, actually my whole body truly enjoyed the sights and smells of this thing as it had zero intention of cooking anything else itself today. Why? Well, yesterday I allowed myself a slight reprieve from this cleanse thing… when I say slight reprieve what I mean is I did come ever so marginally off the wagon yesterday for the departing drinks of one of the kitchen crew… and when I say marginally off the wagon I mean that prick of a wagon blew a wheel in a pot hole and threw me meters through the air, my fall finally being cushioned by some beer. Good beer. It saved me from gaining permanent brain damage, but also inflicted me with a little bit of semi-permanent hemorrhaging to my cerebral cortex, nothing that couldn’t be taken care of by a couple of “Neurofen” and some coconut water. Also, when I say departing drinks for one of the kitchen crew, I mean they were departing drinks for one of the kitchen crew (good luck Christoph).
After exploring the options over the past few weeks (you may call me the Christopher Columbus of options) I have decided that I like to have the odd beer a little too much to banish it from my life forever. I do believe society has a name for people who like the odd drink on a very regular basis, but for now I can’t remember it so I shall simply be known as a person who likes the odd drink on a very regular basis. And besides, the damn wagon blew a wheel so really, what good is it now???
Back to the chicken; this was a damn fine bird. Jennee had rubbed it down with something that could only be described as “really tasty shit”. I think the “really tasty shit” was made up of dried oregano, rosemary, paprika, sesame seeds, peppercorns and preserved lemon… or something similar. Roasted potatoes, onion and garlic, steamed beans and a kick-ass pan gravy rounded it off very nicely.
*Fly-ran; a combination of running while flapping wings and semi flying. Similar to what a chicken does.