The church of the holy spit roast and beer and spirits

spit roast barbecue
Please note; this is not a story. One needs brain cells to write a story. I’m sure I could make something up, but once again, brain cells are integral to this process. We did get photos, though. I can show you lots of photos…

It was Sunday and the church was in session. There was no state recognized minister, holy transcripts or alter boy (dammit), just a heap of townsfolk with hunger in their eyes, looking to have their souls fulfilled with a religious food experience. This Sunday the church would be our backyard, the steeple would be the blue skies above and the sermon would be delivered in the international tongue of great food, great people and great times.

First, I smoked my own chorizo sausages
First, I smoked my own chorizo sausages

My basting brush
My basting brush
More goodness
More goodness
The cacti
The cacti

The time was well overdue for a gathering at our place. We sorted it just like we would sort the average Sunday gathering at our place, but then we got our pocket calculators out and multiplied that shit by ten, just to keep it proper real. We used social media to coax a large group of friends into our backyard under the guise they would be entertained by small carnival folk wearing crotchless monkey suits, and also the promise of a cracking lunch. Needless to say, many among the group were sorely disappointed when they arrived and there was nary a monkey suit wearing carnie in sight, but they were in the yard now… and we had locked the gates… so they had no choice but to eat and to drink to attempt to extinguish the flame of disappointment that was burning deep inside them due to the absence of carnival style entertainment.

Antipasti flowed...
Antipasti flowed…

As did the sangria
As did the sangria
The carving station
The carving station
Chorizo
Chorizo
Pork belly
Pork belly
Salad
Salad
A bit of everything
A bit of everything

Murmurings throughout the group later suggested that the food may have redeemed our deceitful actions. I was a little tipsy by that stage so it didn’t really bother me either way.

The day would not be complete without a Jennee dessert spread
The day would not be complete without a Jennee dessert spread

We drank out way far into the night… memories were stolen by the treacherous minions of beer and scotch… there’s always the photos though. Bless this modern age and it’s 18-things-in-1 phones (until you get drunk and lose your multi tasking phone, that is. Then it’s cursing all the way).

#iphoneshelpingdrunkardstorememberwhathappenedlastnightsince2007

Now, as I am still feeling a little sleep and brain cell deficient, I am going to take myself off to bed, where I shall sleep until my name is changed to Rip Van Grazza.

Good night.

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30 thoughts on “The church of the holy spit roast and beer and spirits

  1. i am going to cry myself to sleep tonight. This is the most beautiful collection of meats and sides I have ever seen! 😥
    I NEED TO ZIP OVER AND EAT EVERYTHING ONE DAY.

    That pork belly and those sausages are so beautiful. I’m dead. Goodbye.

  2. IF we ever get back to Aus…and I say we will (because we still have PR) we are landing on your doorstep and never leaving. Be warned.
    I love that grin on your face as you are carving up that pork belly. Says it all my friend!!

  3. faaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkk. 🙂 I think at that time I was 5 hours or so into a 22 hour marathon slog from NYC to Brisbane and the food on my plate sure as hell didn’t resemble anything here.

  4. Seriously Graz, why aren’t I your next door neighbour already?? This looks AMAZING. I have been waiting to read this post since I saw your homemade chorizo on Instagram and it definitely didn’t disappoint. Pork belly and spicy chorizo, winning hearts since the invention of fire (the dessert spread a’la Jennee and the salad bar look mighty fine too). Oh, and monkey suits? Bah. I don’t think I’d even notice them after my eyes locked on that meat station…

  5. thats brilliant! I love that pit and spit… I am going to have to make one… although over here it will probably fill up with rain.. i dont care.. i want one.. stunning spread mon ami.. stunning!

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