The Pork Taco Challenge

pork taco
Recently my friend Dana at I’ve Got Cake challenged me to a cook-off of an old school classic with a bit of new school flair. A bit of the old “take a dish everyone knows and loves and make it a little bit our own”. Well, at least that’s what I think we’re doing. I didn’t really understand (or even fully read) the brief… was there even a brief? I do recall the phrase “there are no rules” being in there somewhere… or maybe I just dreamt that one too. We are posting this at the same time, yes, that was definitely in the brief!

Dana had thrown the gauntlet. And by that I mean I goaded her into it like a little brother, running down the street and taunting her every second of the way until she finally submitted and said I could play with her Barbie dolls and Californian Vacation doll house. Pulling her hair and, in later pre-pubescencey, the strap of her trainer bra.

I seriously would’ve made a great younger brother. Seriously.

Sometimes I think Dana likes conversing with me because I am like a weird red-bearded, skinny assed, white boy, interweb version of the younger brother she never had… or maybe she does have a younger brother, I don’t know. She does swear at me and says she hates me a fair bit though…

So what could I do to the humble pork taco to make it my own? Make the special kind of love to it down by the fire? Marry it in a Las Vegas cathedral ceremony conducted by a fat gay man in sunglasses (or maybe it was Elvis?)? Or force a Street Fighter-esque three hit combo of my favourite pork products into my face via this little rolled corn edible plate?

I’m going for the three hit combo, don’t be doubting. And I shall cook it on the fire, eat myself fat enough to be the next Elvis and be very gay about the whole situation, with out so much as a fashionable jacket (or something else a girl would wear) on my person, but just damn happy (Happy is what gay used to mean, you know?). See what I did there?… I didn’t think so…

These things were good. Really good. I was caught a little off guard by my family’s sudden embracing of the blood sausage and their forth with consumption of a good percentage of it, as normally I get to eat the blood sausage around here and no, that is not code for anything – just a comment about a grown mans’ love for the black pud.

I would also recommend giving the home made tortillas a try. They’re well worth the effort!

PS if you want to have a look at what Dana came up with (you should because it’s going to be funny and delicious, I don’t mind telling you) you will be able you see that right here.

This is called fore-play around here. Pork belly, morcilla and chorizo, and tomato and onion charring up for the salsa
This is called fore-play around here. Pork belly, morcilla and chorizo, and tomato and onion charring up for the salsa
Damn sexy
Damn sexy
This was sooooo damn good
This was sooooo damn good
When you make you own tacos aint nobody going to deny you're the boss
When you make you own tacos aint nobody going to deny you’re the boss
I really wish I could take better photos. I really do
I really wish I could take better photos. I really do
Pretty grass
Pretty grass. I gaurentee Dana’s photos will be a heap better than this

PLENTY OF PORK TACOS (for 4)

400g pork belly, sliced into 3cm thick pieces
2 morcilla, black pudding or other kind of ethnic blood sausage
2 smoked chorizo sausage
1 chipotle chilli, if you like it hot, very finely chopped
tacos, salsa picante, cabbage & apple ‘slaw dressed with a little vinegar, radish, sheeps feta, coriander and lime wedges, to serve

• Cook the meats just as you would normally cook those meats. Just remember the pork belly is going to take a lot longer than the sausages are they are already cooked. That’s some quality free advice right there
• Once cooked to your liking chop it all up. Get two knives out and do it like a crazy Asian chef if that makes you feel good about yourself. Chuck the chipotle in there too
• That’s it
• Get it on the table and make sure you get yourself a good heap of the morcilla before your kids get to it!

SOFT TACOS (you best believe I made my own)

3 cups masa harina flour
400(ish) ml hot water

• In a medium bowl, mix together masa harina and hot water until thoroughly combined. Turn dough onto a clean surface and knead until pliable and smooth. If dough is dry add more hot water
• Cover dough tightly with cling wrap (plastic film) and allow to stand for 30 minutes. If it dries out while resting, sprinkle with more water
• Preheat a frying pan to medium-high.
• Divide dough into 20 equal-size balls. Using a tortilla press, a rolling pin, or your hands, press each ball of dough flat between two sheets of baking paper
• Place tortilla in preheated pan and allow to cook for approximately 30 seconds, or until browned and slightly puffy. Turn tortilla over to brown on second side for approximately 30 seconds more and then transfer to a plate. Repeat process with each ball of dough. Wrap tortillas with a towel to stay warm and moist until ready to serve.

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55 thoughts on “The Pork Taco Challenge

  1. The smack down is here. Oh my, the meats, the slaw, the salsa, you made your own tortillas. You two are worthy opponents of each other, you could stand in a field with metaphorical foodie swords crossed for hours, days, years. Lang may yer lums reek! 😁

  2. Ahhhhhhhhh!!
    Hahahahah!!
    I don’t have a little brother actually, only 3 older ones 😉

    Well done my friend!!
    I have to admit I was a bit nervous when I saw the Instagram preview of this..
    I said, “Oh sheeit! He’s not fucking around!”

    Bravo G, bravo!!

  3. You win!!! I just can’t lay my hands on masa harina .. Lack of a South American populous perhaps in middle England!! (Buckinghamshire).. You win though…for sure

    1. Cheers. I won’t tell Dana you said that 🙂
      Have you tried the interweb? Surely someone can get you some masa harina? Shit, gimme your details and I’ll send you some. You defo need to try home made tacos!! 🙂

    2. My last brilliant run was on Sunday when I took my two daughters to their first race! After watching me race, they wanted to do it too – and we had a great day running together. I run for me, but also for them as I think it is so important for them to see me modelling healthy behaviour and positive body image. It was so nice to put it all together and do a race as a family. Together, we were running for “Girl Por&1e#822w; – in running skirts!

  4. I dunno man, it’s a toss up. Her photos ARE better (youknowit) but you made your own tortillas and ALWAYS make your own mayo.
    I have a taco post coming up. I didn’t make them tho, just ate that shit all up. The family stared at me too.

      1. Speaking of which, I get the feeling Ginger is probably going to challenge me to pie or some other sort of baked good because that’s her shit and I stink at baking.
        Oh jeeezuz…

      2. HASSAN قال:الدول ؘٙ„秙ˆØ±ÙˆØ¨ÙŠÃÇ الضرائب فيها مرتفعه، ولكن موقع clove.co.uk البريطاني في حال كان الشحن لخارج بريطانيا يبيع الهاتف بدون الضرائب وتقريبا كل الاجهزة اسعارها بدون الضرائب نفس الاسعار في امريكا..

  5. You know what? I like your photos. They make me miss sunlight (I’ve been in the freaking UK for too long, I’m turning into a milky vampire) AND MEAT. We’re running out of money at the moment so I’m living on mostly chickpeas and canned tuna (splashed out and bought some lamb last night but then ate it extremely slowly, knowing that each bite cost me about 50 pence). These look freaking amazing. As do Dana’s (not sure how I missed discovering her blog already). You know what? I’d better eat one of each just so I can properly judge…
    P.S I should really get my ass together and continue that burger-off when I get home. You’re one up on me… plus, you retaliated to the taco challenge so quickly, that’s winning (I feel like a real slacker).

    1. Thank you my friend.
      Dana is our kin… I think she swears more than I do :).
      That burger off will happen on your return! It will bring the colour rushing back to your now milky white complexion :). We could do it similar stylee to the taco challenge.

  6. I think your photos were done very well! The tacos look amazing as does everything you make…and those tortillas. Oh how I wish. The blood sausage…makes me cringe a little. But because I’m always so impressed with your food, I think you would be the only person that MIGHT be able to talk me into tasting it.

  7. I think it’s fair to say that you don’t know the real personal life of anyone who gives you advice professionally. So you have to just read their advice and decide for yourself if it will work for you — regardless of what their personal life is like. And, I assume you’d do the same for the advice I give. If it’s a prerequisite to approve of someone’s life before you listen to their advice then you will probably find yourself listening to no one. Penelope

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