It’s bacon week. Yes, even better than my birthday, it’s bacon week.
This week I have been cooking MCs like a pound of bacon… actually, that was Vanilla Ice. I’ve been cooking bacon like a pound of bacon and also cooking bacon by the pound but as I am in Australia I shall not be able to pay for it using pounds I shall need to use dollars…
Of all the things I have done in the past to prove my love to bacon, as the pimle-y little teenager would perform “jump through the hoop” tasks to prove his love to the prom queen* (except, unlike the prom queen, bacon isn’t a bitch and gratifies my adoration with beautiful smells roaming the corridors of my home and exquisite porky tastes in my face) none could be simpler, yet as effective as what I shall be preparing for myself today.
It is a time for us all to pay homage to the humble bacon sarnie. Yes. Bread, bacon (I’ll have mine crispy please) and maybe some home made tomato sauce (ketchup) or HP. And what better way to reinforce this love then through the power of prose, for as the old song lyrics go, you say it best when you say it through prose… or was that when you say nothing at all… whatever. It’s going to be “nothing at all today” I just know it.
An Ode to Bacon
Oh bacon, oh bacon
I love thee with all of my heart I’m not fakin’
No two ways no mistakin’
You are really tasty
I’m making myself hungry
I’m going to go and cook some bacon right now
There you have it; beautiful but shit at the same time.
Bacon week is not over so maybe tomorrow morning you want to go and find yourself some nice local-as-possible you beaut bacon and make yourself a bacon sarnie in celebration of bacon week.
*I know “prom queen” is an American term and it sounds a heap wanky coming from me, but I don’t know the Australian equivalent so prom queen it is
19 responses to “A Bacon Sarnie for Bacon Week”
Such… Beautiful words. Porcine Poetry at it’s finest. Also, I don’t think it’s fair that you have bacon week and we only have bacon day.
You have another year to get your affairs in order, I’ll see you for the next one 😜
You bacon love and poetry hath inspired me kind sir. ‘Oh bacon, oh bacon, you start my poor knees shakin. My heart it is forsaken, for today I ate no bacon.’ Sad but true, I knew not it was bacon week. Will rectify post haste on the morrow. In the name of the father, the son and the holy pig. Amen.
Go now and rectify this problem that ails thee Mrs Cheer 🐖🔥😍
Had no idea you were a poet. Incredible prose, beautifully written. Sheesh, now I have to get some bacon…today! And oh my goodness, homemade ketchup!
I like to dabble 😁
Defo with the home made ketchup! Cheers TWC, you make me blush.
Amen sir, well said, well written and well photographed 😊😊
Well photographed. I really am not accustomed to getting this kind of love for my photos but I’ll take it. Cheers D 👊
Bacon is just one sexy beast. It looks good in every lighting.
I wouldn’t like a Prom Queen to gratify me with her beautiful porky taste on my face….:)
Bahaha. That had to come from you 😁
Oh my word… craving a whole wad of bacon right now!
I’m always with the bacon cravings 😜
wow, glorious bacon!!!!
Simply damn delicious n comforting for sure!!!
It truly is one of the best things in the world for sure 🐖🙌
Beautiful bacon! But what’s a sarnie?
Sarnie. Slang for sandwich my friend 😁