This week I have been cooking MCs like a pound of bacon… actually, that was Vanilla Ice. I’ve been cooking bacon like a pound of bacon and also cooking bacon by the pound but as I am in Australia I shall not be able to pay for it using pounds I shall need to use dollars…
Of all the things I have done in the past to prove my love to bacon, as the pimle-y little teenager would perform “jump through the hoop” tasks to prove his love to the prom queen* (except, unlike the prom queen, bacon isn’t a bitch and gratifies my adoration with beautiful smells roaming the corridors of my home and exquisite porky tastes in my face) none could be simpler, yet as effective as what I shall be preparing for myself today.
It is a time for us all to pay homage to the humble bacon sarnie. Yes. Bread, bacon (I’ll have mine crispy please) and maybe some home made tomato sauce (ketchup) or HP. And what better way to reinforce this love then through the power of prose, for as the old song lyrics go, you say it best when you say it through prose… or was that when you say nothing at all… whatever. It’s going to be “nothing at all today” I just know it.
An Ode to Bacon
Oh bacon, oh bacon
I love thee with all of my heart I’m not fakin’
No two ways no mistakin’
You are really tasty
I’m making myself hungry
I’m going to go and cook some bacon right now
There you have it; beautiful but shit at the same time.
Bacon week is not over so maybe tomorrow morning you want to go and find yourself some nice local-as-possible you beaut bacon and make yourself a bacon sarnie in celebration of bacon week.
*I know “prom queen” is an American term and it sounds a heap wanky coming from me, but I don’t know the Australian equivalent so prom queen it is