The flood waters they are coming up once again. Why? Well I’m no expert but I’m gonna put it out there that it has something to do with barometric pressure, precipitation and cumulous humongous… Probably some other stuff too. I should probably read a book about it.

Yep. During the night somehow, someone fed our weedy looking 14-year-old emo boy of a creek steroids and now that little bitch is hanging with the 17 year old footy jocks. It is swollen like a man-whores member, teetering on bursting like the ripe summer peach. Metaphorsarethebestshitever.

It is seriously pissing down right now*.

One thing I know in English is that it’s raining. I find a gentle summers rain on a tin roof to be quite therapeutic, and heaps cheaper then an hour on the psychologist’s couch or behind the red curtain at that masseurs hut in Thailand. But when that gentle rain moves into the realm of level 3 cyclone and the possible dawning of a new ice age, well… actually that’s still pretty cool by me. We just have to make sure the hatches are battened down, the hobbits are back in there cages and the chooks and ducks aren’t under the big tree in our backyard (fondly known as “the big tree in our backyard”), because that tends to shed a branch or two in the event of a storm. And it’s all out of little ones thanks to the last storm we had.

Waddayagonnado?

Make some bloody soup is what I’m gonna do.

This is a soup that I vaguely remember from the first kitchen I started cooking in, thank you Mr. Pete McGregor. That was neither a segue or an amusing anecdote.

CURRIED ZUCCHINI AND LENTIL SOUP (enough for the whole neighbourhood to survive the impending flood)
6-7 zucchini, diced
2 brown onion, diced
6 cloves of garlic, chopped/crushed/sat on
a big assed knob of ginger, peeled and chopped/grated
1 cup curry powder
1 cinnamon quill
4 cups red lentils
3-4lt vegetable stock or H2O
• In a large heavy based pot sauté the onions, garlic and half a handful of seasoning in a bit of oil until it starts to soften up
• Add the zucchini and ginger and cook out for 10 minutes
• Add the curry powder and cinnamon and cook out for another 10 minutes
• Now add the lentils and water/stock and simmer on a very low heat for about 45 minutes. Keep it low because the lentils will catch quite easily when they start to break down
• Once it is all soft and lovely remove cinnamon quill and puree that bad boy with a stick wiz or in a blender or food processor, check seasoning, fix seasoning. Aaah, delicious
• Serve with coriander and chilli yoghurt (scroll down), or plain yoghurt if you are a pussy

CORIANDER AND CHILLI YOGHURT
500g natural yoghurt
1 bunch fresh coriander, the whole lot, washed and chopped
1-2 long red or green chilli, chopped
1 tomato, chopped
• Get your food processor back out and think to yourself you should have read t he whole recipe before you put it away
• Combine all ingredients, blitz, season, enjoy

*If that term came from people thinking rainfall was the pee-pee of the gods then those guys had a big night on the beers tonight!