Self thought it has been a while since I have returned to my favourite Mexi-loco bar type restaurant-y haunt in Byron Bay. Also, Jennee (due to various unforeseen factors) was 0-3 on her attempts to be swooned by the taste of cheap eats, a punchy mojito and the service of fine looking bohemian-esque barmen. The only possible outcome for this monologue is a dinner of Mexican origin, a drink or two also of Mexican ancestry and an insight into another afternoon in the busy tourist hovel that is Byron Bay.
We arrived at 5:30, which was a stroke of luck as it was smack bang in the middle of happy hour and (stroke of luck #2) there was a table available. Margaritas and mojitos were 10 bucks a pop and Coronas were five. Done deal. I would take one of those Coronas thank you, and Jennee ordered a mojito. The corona tasted just like a normal Corona except cheaper, and the mojito tasted like a damn tasty drink… Jennee ordered another one of those straight up… I knew if I kept my cool and played my cards right she would definitely be getting her knickers off tonight. But first, let’s eat.
A plate of corn chips was a must. I remembered from my last visit (available for your viewing pleasure right here) that they were awesome and, for once, my memory served me correctly. Crisply awesome corn chips served with guacamole, sour cream and an average tasting random tomato salsa that was vastly improved with the addition of an equal quantity of salsa picante hot sauce.
Another thing I remembered from my last visit was me telling myself that I needed to come back and try the chimichanga (fried burrito for anyone who is not in the know), so try the chimichanga I did. This thing was a beast. An awesome beast. A beast of awesomeness. Mr A. Beast. You get the picture right? It was filled with pulled pork, beans, cheese, tomato salsa and other things, and had some guacamole, sour cream and ‘slaw on the side. The burrito was great but they should have left the coleslaw for someone who liked cabbage that has had all of the cabbage flavor sucked out of it and also had a salt removal tablet added just in case any seasoning accidently fell into he mix.
Jenny had the salad with crispy snapper, tamarind and ginger, which she really enjoyed.
We also tried all of the hot sauces we could lay our hands on. Most were very manageable but one, I do recall, removed a layer of skin from my tongue and evaporated it into the air of that cactus and spice filled room. It was sooo good.
Dinner was done and now the queue on the foot path out the front was growing. We bid our hosts farewell and made room for another parched traveller. “Adios amigos”, they beckoned to us as we left the bar…
I was pretty damn full by now but Jennee was hell bent on ice-cream. Knowing how these things work with a women I settled for the double scoop waffle cone, even though I have immense issues with how that looks on a man; walking down the street licking a slowly melting ice cream cone. If it were a twenty-something toastie hot chicky babe it would be a different story altogether, but alas, it was a thirty-something bearded white man.
And then there was the frozen yoghurt… As we were leaving Byron we passed a new frozen yoghurt/juice bar type serving icey cold treats Jennee liked to call “frogurt”. She straight up suggested that we should stop and try their (allegedly) tasty wares. Now, I begrudgingly dealt with the whole walking down the street trying to look like a man with a double scoop waffle cone thing, but frozen yoghurt (trendy name or not) was not going to be happening on my effing watch. No way Jose (or Jennee as was the case).
I was getting us the fuck out of dodge.
Now for the movie; “Gravity”. This was av-er-age. If we had have paid money to see it I would have been proper pissed. I suggest if you have the opportunity to watch it you should instead spend your 90 minutes more wisely by digging random holes in your backyard or maybe punching yourself in the face or, stop at the frozen yoghurt place because sissy is something you will eventually learn to live with, “Gravity” is something that will steal moments of your life that can never be returned to you and leave you feeling empty inside…