This is not a funny story. Nor is it a gripping adventure. It is a recipe for a dinner close to overflowing with nostalgia, and the tale of a young carnie showgirl and her quest for freedom and her struggle to get to the U, S and A. Where do I go from a statement like that?

Tuna patties were a weekday staple for us when I was younger. They were pretty simple; tuna, potato, onion, egg, salt and pepper (they certainly did not contain kale, but you know what, I think my mum would give that a go), and I think they contained very minimal amounts of tuna and quite a lot of potato, but that’s what happens when you are charged with the care of three getting-bigger-by-the-minute-and-all-defo-goning-to-be-over-six-feet teenage boys who need at least 5 full meals plus snacks each day… hmmm, kinda reminds me of my boys… except they’re both under ten…

Mum would get out her big assed electric frying pan and cook these suckers, 10 or so at a time, until she had enough to satiate her ravenous children. The tuna patties were like baby seals to the killer whale… they really didn’t stand a chance. I beached myself many-a-time with the sole intention of putting one or six of these baby seal tuna patties in my face with no consideration of repercussions from green peace or any other like-minded associations. But I’m pretty sure they were all tied up in the nuclear thing back then so they probably didn’t even have the time of day for me…

My mums tuna patties (almost)
1x 425g tin of tuna, responsibly fished if you please
about the same amount of potatoes, cooked and peeled
1 brown onion, diced
½ bunch kale, chopped nice and fine
1 handful parsley, chopped
1 egg
1 heaped tablespoon seeded mustard
salt and pepper to taste
bread crumbs to coat (I used brown rice flour because of Jennee’s total intolerance to anything gluten related, and it worked a treat)
home made mayonnaise and some kind of salad to serve
• Crush you potatoes kind of like a rough mash
• Add everything else except the bread crumbs/gluten free option and mix together. Not too much though, you don’t want it to be a paste. A little texture would be nice. Unless you are 95 years old, have no teeth and physically can’t handle that little bit of texture, in which case get your carer to purée the hell out of it by all means
• Form into patties
• Coat in bread crumbs/gluten free option
• Pan fry in oil over a med-low heat for 5 minutes each side or until delicious looking
• Serve with salad and home made mayo… not that my ma would’ve made her own mayo but that’s how I roll so that’s how we’re going to roll!