What more do you need?

What more do you need?

Mexican hangover rolls

Firstly I would like to make it clear that you do not need to be Mexican or have a hangover to enjoy these rolls… you also need not have a Mexican hangover, even though I’m not quite sure how the hell that would work. But if you do want a hangover to eat this roll it is really quite easy to obtain;

1. I would suggest a trip to the local bottlo* and pick yourself some booze. If you pick two to three different types of alcohol, say, beer, red wine and scotch, you definitely have more chance of obtaining your hangover
2. Now you need to take this alcohol to the cash register and pay the cashier for said alcohol
3. You have just realised that you didn’t bring any money because you didn’t read all of the instructions properly before you left, did you? I have told you previously, always read the whole recipe before you begin. You are making this really hard for me…
4. Go back to your house, or your cave, or the old tree down by the swamp, or wherever it is that you stash your money, get some of that money and take it back to the bottlo and pay the nice man/lady (they will probably be looking at you like you are quite simple by now, but that is because you are quite simple)
5. Now that you have your booze, drink it. Drink it all
6. Once all booze is consumed go to sleep – anywhere at all should be comfortable by now
7. The next day you wake up. Voila! That stabbing pain you feel in your head, coupled with the fear of sunlight and loud noises, is a hangover. All of those things with “olé gringo beetch” at the end is a Mexican hangover

Or maybe you possibly think this would be more authentic for you if you actually are Mexican. This will require years of practicing the language, followed by a period of illegal residency and then possibly marriage to a partner with a large black moustache, a penchant for day time naps and a bestie who is a donkey named Raphael. Good luck.

Cooking the chorizo etc might look like this

Cooking the chorizo etc might look like this

Loaded up and ready to help

Loaded up and ready to help. This is one hell of a sandwich

Cut it in half if it is too big for your mouth.Don't apply the "cut in half" theory to all things that are too big to fit in your mouth...

Cut it in half if it is too big for your mouth. Don’t apply the “cut in half” theory to all things that are too big to fit in your mouth…

Keep taking photos while you think you're not

Keep taking photos while you think you’re not

MEXICAN HANGOVER ROLLS (for 4)
4 big fat rolls, or a full Turkish pide. I just thought about the Turkish bread and I think that is going to be the “effing hell yeah” way to do this
3 smoked chorizo sausage, sliced
2 medium potatoes, boiled/steamed whole, cooled and cut into medium dice
2 red capsicum, diced
1 brown onion, diced
A large handful of coriander/parsley/watercress
4 eggs (or 8 eggs if you want 2 each. Yeah, I’m great at maths too)
oil and butter for frying
Salsa picante, sour cream and fresh coriander to serve
• Put chorizo, potato, capsicum and onion into a large frying pan or baking pan, splash with some oil and pan fry/roast until it’s starting to get some colour and the sexy red oil is coming out of the chorizo
• When the chorizo and potato mix is done, fry your eggs. I like to fry mine with a good knob of butter and a splash of oil (if you need to fry your eggs in batches do so, and set aside until the sandwich goes together)
• Slice the bread in half so you can fill it and then layer the chorizo mix on the bottom, followed by the eggs and a bit of seasoning… and even a bit of cheese if that’s how you roll
• Place the lid on top and then cut into portions** to cook
• Brush the top of the sandwich with herby chilli oil (recipe follows) and panfry or cook in a sandwich press until they are looking good
• Open sandwich, add salsa, sour cream and coriander
• Eat it. Wash it down with a cerveza, or possibly a tequila if you’re feeling hard core
• Go back to bed. Nighty night

HERBY CHILLI OIL
1 teaspoon each chilli flakes, dried oregano and dried thyme
1 tablespoon olive oil

*bottlo. A place of good repute that sells bottled (and sometimes boxed) alcoholic beverages

**you can cut this beast into portions and then panfry them or smash them in a sandwich press or, to be an absolute boss, cook it as 1 big sandwich on your bbq hot plate and portion it at the table as every trash-bagged mofo looks on in totally awe of your presence in this world