There is something about these toppings on a hotdog that is just really good, plus all the ingredients for this tasty bastard are available from any ol’ supermarket or convenience store in town, so let’s call that a win for the common man/woman/them. In another convincing win for said being, these ingredients can be put together by pretty much anybody to make a bloody decent hotdog. You (I’m looking at you) could even make a whole heap of these if you were having the squad over to watch a game or have a hotdog party. Plus, a hotdog party is a quality opportunity for some great double entendre or just a damn fun time if that’s your gig. 

I do like to use a comically large glizzy* for mine, even if it is just to make the church contingent blush a little. I like something you may be able to sub-let or time share with the local hotdog riding community.

Let’s go.

*slang for a hotdog. I thought, and this is the truth, that it was referring to a large, glistening porn star type penis. What it actually refers to is the extended magazine of a Glock pistol which is also known as a “Glizzy”.

THE BIG DAWG

4 comically large (250 g) kransky or other snag** suitable for a hotdog

4 hotdog buns

200 g grated cheese that you like

2 onions, sliced

1 jar sauerkraut

Tommy sauce (ketchup)

American mustard

BBQ rub, to season

Blow torch, flame thrower or petrol

Get you BBQ fired up and sitting at 250 – 275 F (120 – 135 C). Chuck a little wood chunk on the coals for flavour.

Place your snags into the BBQ and smoke those bad boys for 30 minutes or so until they are cooked (165 F or 75 C for those using a temp probe). I hope you know by now that you could also cook your snags in the oven or in a pan. Feel free to do that if fire hasn’t been invented in your place in time yet.

While your snags are cooking get your onions cooking;

Heat a splash of oil in a pan over medium-high heat.

Get the onions into the pan and season with your BBQ rub.

Cook out for 5 minutes, stirring every minute or so.

Once onions are cooked to your liking, check seasoning and adjust with more BBQ rub if needed.

Set aside.

Now it’s time to get those big ol’ dawgs together.

Spit your rolls down the middle. I like to take a small “V” out of mine so I don’t need to rip the roll apart when trying to insert snag. I don’t like to rip things apart when I insert the snag.

Snag goes in first and then a nice layer of cheese. Gratinate cheese with your blow torch or you could also put it under the grill (broiler) or you could also not worry about melting it at all.

Squirt a bead of tommy sauce and mustard on either side of the snag along the inside of the bun. Keep the sauces inside the bun so we have a little bit of decorum as we eat – the murder scene squirty all over the sides of the bun is a bad time for everyone involved.

Spread a little sauerkraut and then your grilled onions along the length if the dawg.

Done.

Eat.

Delicious.

**I may or may not have mentioned this previously, but snag is Australian slang for sausage. You may also call it a link if you are my friend from the US.