There’s been a couple of factors, or forces of evil, or small gypsy hobbits working together in a gallant effort to stymie my ability to fulfill my obligations as a pro blogger at the moment.

Firstly. As will often happen in the land of head chef-dom, the beast has dictated that I work extra hard to please the fire breathing dragon or it shall scorch all of my lands to a cinder.

Also I had a sous chef, but one day the beast within him dictated he should go to a far away land, and never come back.

So now I do the work of two men and one small troll.

Secondly, the fact that I could actually ice skate through my house most mornings is not really conducive to a “sit at the computer writing heaps amusing stories and kickass recipes” type lifestyle.

I mean I have blankets but, well, it’s like eating or drinking (stay with me here), they just have no place at the computer desk.

But I have whipped this muther effer into submission. Like Australia post, I will deliver. Wait a minute, I said I will deliver.

With plenty of heart warming braises and stews, smart brains, a strong will to survive, a large stock whip and plenty of sex… points 1-4 are definite… I shall survive. Or at least I’ll be ready when they decide to make a sexy time “survivor” series. Join the dots on that one.

So from the warmth of my bed, typing on my I-phone, I bring you another enthralling installment of Grazza’s soapbox, with Grazza… that’s me. Actually I’m pretty much done here. Move along now. That’s right, move along.

my favourite home for the green papaya salad is next to it’s good friend, salt and pepper calamari

Green papaya salad with nam jim

nam jim looks like this

There’s a recipe for nam jim two posts back and I mentioned that it does go jolly well on the old green papaya salad. So now here’s the green papaya salad recipe so your nam jim doesn’t have to sit there all alone and scared by itself…

The biggest favour you could do yourself right now, or maybe the second biggest actually, is to go to a kitchenware shop and buy yourself a papaya shredder (it looks just like a veg peeler except, instead of a flat blade it has corrugations)

my papaya tree

1 green papaya (my tree grows them in the shape of animals penises. I am truly a lucky man)
1 continental cucumber, deseeded* and sliced
1 punnet of cherry tomatoes, slice in half
2 eshallots (baby red onions), or half a red onion, sliced finely
a handful of coriander, mint and Thai basil, put your knife through the lot three or four times
Crisp eshallots (go to the Asian super market for these. And pick up a couple of other random things while you’re there)
Nam jim to dress

your papaya salad should look at least a little bit like this

• Peel the thick skin off your papaya with a honky dory vegetable peeler.
• Shred your papaya and if you, like me, are lucky enough a have a papaya tree that grows this buxom fruit like elephants dongs, chuckle to yourself as you go…
• Now combine the shredded papaya with everything except the crisp eshallots.
• Put it in a bowl if it’s part of a Thai feast, or divide it onto plates as a garnish for seafood or whatever, and sprinkle with crisp eshallots.
• You should be pretty impressed with yourself right now. Unless you have a self-esteem problem in which case you’ll just go on hating and self-depreciating and you won’t ever be allowed to come to my place for dinner.
• Once again all I have left to say is DERICIOUS. Nom, nom, nom.

*To deseed your cucumber, slice it in half lengthways and then scrape out the seeds with a spoon. Crazy talk, I know.