Paul’s Caul… Christmas not Xmas!!!

Christmas not Xmas!!!!

I know its been way to long between posts, but its December and unless you haven’t been paying attention or maybe simply because you are a simpleton then you would know that December is completely bonkers. Not in a good way either, maybe if you weren’t a chef or in the hospitality industry it would be more enjoyable. Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining, that would be ridiculous as busy = good but I’m more making excuses for my lack of interest in quite frankly any of you.

So Xmas as apposed to Christmas???? Xmas to me is what Pepsi is to Coca-Cola, its Domino’s to any real pizza, its bottled lime juice to limes, its penis to vagina… basically it’s the same but its definitely not. When I think of Xmas I think of poor people and that’s not what I want to think about when unwrapping all of my pointless presents whilst making myself sick on more food then any animal of my size should ever consume.

Now I’m not against poor people, hang on that’s not right! I’m 100% against the concept of poverty and would do everything possible to end it (I’m not a monster) but in the mean time let bridge the gap by agreeing to use the same words and in time we will all start to not feel so estranged to the less or more fortunate then ourselves. Another great example of this is the paradox that the less wealthy spend 5 times more on Christmas lights (or xmas lights as they call them) on the out side of there houses… why is this I ask you, maybe because in their dodgy neighbor hoods the extra light offers protection from would be burglars trying to rob them of their hard earned gifts from around their l.e.d. Christmas trees.

So how is this problem (and yes it is a problem) solved? Shall all rich people start to out do the poor peoples Christmas light displays? Shall we all call it Xmas? Should we abolish Pepsi and call all genitals pengina’s? I’m not sure whether any of my amazing ideas would work, as well thought out as they are…

So lets just start with getting rid of the word Xmas as its shit and tacky, and Christmas doesn’t need any help in that area. Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas but lets face it, it’s always on the border of tackiness and a hop skip and jump away from crass.

Stay with me people I’m about to get to some food real soon, in fact right now…

What I’d love for you all to do this year is attempt to cook a Christmas lunch/dinner that is made up of exactly what you want to eat, don’t be trapped into making dishes because tradition calls for it, unless you like them… for me I love a full turkey dinner with bacon wrapped chipolata’s, bread sauce, brussel sprouts, stuffing, gravy, roast veg followed by sleeping on the couch, but if what you want is a prawn cocktail followed by pad Thai then go for it… but most importantly do it and share it with the people you love, don’t hate Christmas because of all the stress, embrace it all and feel the love people…

If in doubt think “what would Paul do?” the answer is always cook, love and laugh…

Another item I love at this time of year are Brandy snaps so here is a very simple recipe to make them, but don’t feel you just have to fill them with brandy cream… you could do so much with them…
1. Leave them as small rounds and make a stack out of them with nutella and marshmallows for the kids
2. Fill with tropical fruits and top with coconut foam (made by coconut cream and sugar heated together then cooled, placed in cream gun and gas that shit up)
3. Make into small bowls and set choc mousse in them
4. Serve ice cream in them
5. Crumble up and use as a sprinkle on literally any dessert
6. Make stained glass windows for your ginger bread house

Brandy snaps

100g unsalted butter
90g glucose syrup
180g castor sugar
90g plain flour

• Melt butter and glucose in a bowl over simmering water (bain maree)
• Mix in all ingredients.
• Allow to cool.
• To cook, roll into balls and place on silicone paper lined trays, flattening them as you go.
• Bake in 180c oven 4-5 minutes or until they go brown, flat and bubbly.
• Allow to cool before serving.

4 responses to “Paul’s Caul… Christmas not Xmas!!!”

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