The Christmas that just went…

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At work we made muchham glaze for the people. This involved a lot of booze...

At work we made muchham glaze for the people. This involved a lot of booze…

So there it was.

Christmas.

It came as quickly as a teenage boy… and then left feeling just as ashamed.

The Optimus Prime-esque light displays that were clearly trying to signal another culture from the depths of a very distant solar system will soon yield to the weight of more consumerism in the form of hot crossed buns and chocolate eggs which are seemingly the incubating spawn of chocolate rabbits which are both some how meant to tie into a religious celebration-slash-holiday.

We certainly did drink a bit of booze. Bloody Caesars were my choice de jour... everyone else mostly chose other drinks

We certainly did drink a bit of booze. Bloody Caesars were my choice de jour… everyone else mostly chose other drinks


I don’t really follow this whole thing at all.

But really, who gives a fuck.

What ever it is, it is a damn fine reason to get together with your friends and family, and possibly even a random cling-on or two. You share a drink (many drinks), some food (much food) and maybe a story about how two of your squad hooked up together at the same event last year (not appropriate when only family is in attendance). Just a damn good time really. Even carnies and people who hate everything else about life will generally still enjoy the time that is Christmas.

There was much food on the table... and also a fair bit of booze

There was much food on the table… and also a fair bit of booze


As a wise man once told me, “there are systems in place just so we can stand one another”, and I agree that this is definitely one of them.

Right now I sit on a hotel balcony, enjoying a little down time after having the craziest two months of my cheffing career to date, and I ponder how beautiful that whole silly season is* – the truly satisfying climax after the fore play and gentle caress of the trickle of summer function bookings through out the year. Dates are tentatively set, invites drawn up, weddings and birthdays and Christmas parties are all in the mix.

And then it’s on.

The slippery finger that is the rest of the year is inevitably followed by the fully blown orgy (black plastic and raspberry jelly included) that is the start of summer… the silly season… our glory days. Then, as quickly as it begun it is over again. We sit on our milk crates and designated small section of brick wall out the back of the restaurant and we admire those that are still among us…. Chaffed lips and post coital haze… enlarged sphincters… mental scars that will never heal…

Pav is a pretty solid Christmas dessert in Oz... As is trifle... we also added christmas pudding semifreddo to complete the 3-hit combo

Pav is a pretty solid Christmas dessert in Oz… As is trifle… we also added christmas pudding semifreddo to complete the 3-hit combo


Thank god for Christmas.

I fucking love this shit.

#beingachefisthebestshitever

And then all of a sudden I was here... writing this...

And then all of a sudden I was here… writing this…


*And, if I’m totally honest, I also ponder an Edward Norton in “Fight Club” or the Donnie Darko guy in “Donnie Darko” type catastrophe where the balcony crumbles underneath me and I’m done. Yes I have head issues.

Chelsea Buns with a Nutty Twist (from Ginger and Bread)

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SAMSUNG CSC
It is 1:07am, a time that would usually be considered somewhere between well past my bedtime and way to early to be waking up. There was a time in my life when this would be the time that the party was just getting started, but now with the responsibility of having a family, working the early shift as a breakfast chef and just getting older and a little more chilled (or weak. Yeah, you can call me weak if it makes you feel good about yourself. Goodness knows, if we ever met I would take so much piss out of you, you would not be able to relieve yourself for a week so calling me weak is fine. Absolutely fine…), 1:07am is a time when this fellow is normally head down on his fluffy white pillow and hanging out in sleepy bo-bos land.

Is this making you remotely curious as to what the eff I am doing up at this time?

Well, I am going to tell you whether you’re keen to hear the explanation or not.

With nary a socially shunned drug or the more widely accepted booze in my system, the Grazza McFilthy Mouth of the present has actually found himself well and truly awake with the desire to cook nutty Chelsea buns… I know, that’s just not right is it? Seriously, I woke up and all I could think of were these Chelsea buns I have made before with this recipe from my mate Ginger.

If I were a single man I would be in the kitchen making those buns right now, but as the rest of the family sleeps, seemingly uncaring of the situation I have found myself in, I sit next to the fire listening to the pitter patter of rain on our tin roof and watch “The Phantom Menace” for the 8 millionth time. I still want to punch Jar Jar in his stupid face but still watch it and love it… some time, a long long time ago, this love for anything Star Wars was imbedded deep in my DNA. I don’t go to Star Wars nerd festivals or have a social media forum discussing the merits of the new four blade light sabre in “The Force Awakens”, and it’s not like I could tell you the name of the actor who played Chewbacca and when his birthday is… OK, it’s Peter Mayhew and his birthday was on 19th May, but we all knew that one, right? Right?

All of that aside I shall be making these Nutty Chelsea Buns after I finally go back to sleep and then wake up again in the morning.

Zzzzzz. This is me sleeping…

And now I am awake again and the Chelsea buns are in the oven!

mixy mixy

Mixy mixy

Roll that dough out

Roll that dough out

The nutty business

The nutty business

Spread it over the dough

Spread it over the dough

Roll, chop and get it in a tin

Roll, chop and get it in a tin

A little OC but still damn tasty. Really effing tasty

A little OC but still damn tasty. Really effing tasty

I have transplanted this recipe from another little blog called Ginger and Bread, just in case you’re too slack to hit the link. But you really should consider hitting that link. At the very least because her photos are a darn sight better than mine. They are what the common folk describe as “good pictures”. Go on, click the effing link!

CHELSEA BUNS WITH A NUTTY TWIST

For the dough:
500g plain flour
50g caster sugar
250 ml milk, lukewarm
80g butter, melted
2 teaspoons dried yeast
1 egg
1 pinch of salt

For the filling:
250 hazelnuts, coarsely ground or finely chopped (I have used walnuts and almonds which both worked very well indeed)
200g granulated sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 cl rum (I don’t know how much that is so I gave it a good splash)
50g butter, melted

For the glaze:
100g apricot jam

• In a bowl, mix the ingredients for the dough until the dough is beginning to come up in bubbles
• Cover with a lid or clingfilm and rest in a warm place until it has doubled in size. This usually takes between 1-2 hours
• Heat the oven to 200C and grease a cake tin (I used a 26cm diameter springform) or a similar-sized ovenproof form
• Grind or chop the hazelnuts: you’d like to end up with a mix of fine powder and bigger lumps. Mix with the other ingredients for the filling, apart from the butter
• Roll out the dough on a work surface that you have dusted liberally with flour. I rolled it out as thinly as I could without breaking into sweat. Brush the surface with the melted butter and sprinkle the filling evenly all over it before rolling it up
• Cut the roll into 20-24 slices and place the slices in your tin
• Bake at 200C (it seemed that 180C would have been sufficient) for around 30-35 minutes or until golden brown
• Place the hot tin on a cooling rack. In a small saucepan, heat the apricot jam until it begins to bubble and it becomes quite runny; add 2-4 tablespoon water to make it a runny mixture that you can drizzle over the hot buns
• Leave to cool a little before removing from the tin; serve still warm, though, and enjoy the crunch

Summer until you can summer no longer…

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summer chicken pork kebab and vanilla bean pannacotta with marsala strawberries
It’s still pretty warm out here. Sure, the nights are a little chillier and already you can feel that the baby making season is quickly approaching, but we still have the sunny days and we shall be milking them for all they’re worth. We shall syphon every last bit of warmth that giant fiery orb (aka. the sun) is willing to release upon us and we shall barbecue until we can barbecue no longer. All that’s needed is three things.

Three things.

1. The Big Red Rub

Oh yes this is sexy

Oh yes this is sexy


Contrary to what you may initially believe, this does not involve a visit from a burly Scottish highlander who has just completed a 3 week course in the fine art of Thai massage. This is a dry rub for meats that is both red in colour and big in flavour. It was also created by me and through out these hills and hay stacks I am oft known by the name Big Red, so you could quite possibly see how I think I am being heaps clever.
Big, red and ready to get rubby

Big, red and ready to get rubby


THE BIG RED RUB

5 tablespoons sweet paprika
1 tablespoon each brown sugar, salt, garlic powder, ground cumin, ground chilli, dried oregano, dried thyme

• Mix it all together and you’re good to go
• Make heaps and give it to your friends or store in an air tight container in the cupboard for up to a month

2. The Chorken-kebab

All sorts of awesome

All sorts of awesome

Grilly grilly, turny turny

Grilly grilly, turny turny

Ooh la la

Ooh la la

Every piece of meat had a spit hole in it... funny that

Every piece of meat had a spit hole in it… funny that

Time to get the fuck into my belly

Time to get the fuck into my belly


This is quite simply a large chicken and pork kebab on a rotisserie spit. The chicken marylands and strips of pork belly were rubbed down sensually with a couple of handfuls of the Big Red Rub and then skewered onto the spit. This then spends three hours rolling around over the coals as it self bastes (masterbastes could work here) itself into a glorious big red awesome thing dappled with little hits of darkened charred glorious smoky bits and 100% made up of tasty, tasty chorken. You need a spit for the chorken-kebab and to look 100% more genius than if you cook it any other way but, you could also make yourself some mighty fine barbecued chicken and pork just by grilling the marinated meats over low coals for a few hours or you could even cook it in the oven for some kind of weak mans feeble not-even-a-barbecue. 180C for an hour or so should do the trick…

3. Pannacotta

Enamel is cool

Enamel is cool


Pannacotta is a dessert that oozes summer. Cool, sweet, sexy and a little bit jiggly, just like boobies, and as we all know summer is all about the boobies… and the beaches… well, beaches, boobies (boys also works well here if it’s boys you are into), barbecue and beverages… so summer is definitely about the “B” words at the very least. Anyway, when trying to syphon that last little bit of summer sunshine out of the barrel of seasons that we commonly know as the year, hold it upside down and shake it vigorously so as to dislodge every ounce of sunshine from it’s hold, use your “B” words and for goodness sakes make yourself (and a few other people) some pannacotta. This is me helping you look really good with minimal effort or smarts used by you… thank me later.

VANILLA BEAN PANNACOTTA with MARSALSA STRAWBERRIES and BASIL (for 6)

I told you enamel is cool

I told you enamel is cool


600ml thickened cream
600ml full cream milk
3 vanilla beans, scraped and pods reserved
200g castor sugar
4 gelatine sheets
2 punnets strawberries, hulled and halved
2 tablespoons marsala
1 tablespoon castor sugar
3 basil leaves, chiffonade

• Soak gelatin leaves in enough water to cover
• Combine cream, milk, vanilla and reserved pods and castor sugar. Heat until sugar is dissolved and mixture is the temperature of hot tap water. Remove from heat
• Remove gelatin leaves from water and stir into cream mixture until dissolved
• Divide mix into 6 glasses to set. Enamel still seems to be trending at the moment but I could also imagine a vegemite jar will put you right on point. Refrigerate overnight to set
• I hope you read the recipe before starting and you haven’t got to this point an hour before your dinner party is due to start
• An hour or two before serving, macerate strawberries in booze and extra sugar
• Remove the pannacottas from the fridge and check they are set. We’re looking for something similar to a booby wobble, something we in the kitchen know as “titty consistency”
• Serve your pannas with the strawberries and syrup, and a few slithers of chiffonade basil

So there you go; find the last few rays of summer warmth, wrangle them to the ground, get your barbecue and pannacotta on and pretend like you’re living that endless summer… at least until next week when the skies become darker, the evenings and mornings cooler and short skirts and bikinis shall be replaced with long clothing… long, thick, warm, minimal skin revealing clothing.

Night time fire shadows

Night time fire shadows


But on the upside barbecues and summer salads shall soon be yielding to rich wintery braises, soups and slow roasted goodies of all descriptions… come at me winter!

Gimme Some Sugar, Baby… Or Not

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paleo dessert
I’ll keep this short and sweet. Heheh.

We live in a world that is slowly turning it’s collective nose to the use of refined sugars. One big, fat nose the size of South America being scrunched up so it looks like it belongs to a bulldog, and the noise of an almighty “hmph” from just below it’s Antarctica moustache. Very Freddy Mercury-esque. Well-played sugar haters. Get a famous moustached musician onto your cause.

It is true that soon such sugar shall only be available from shady looking characters dealing their wares from the boot of their car in an undisclosed location near you soon. Pastry chefs across the world shall be soon made redundant, pan handling their wares in a back alley, right next to the blue dumpster… They shall be given a wide birth, now the outcasts of society, like the red headed step child, a leper or even Billy Ray Cyrus.

Sugar should be treated akin to, say, cocaine, masturbation or showering with your team mates after a tough game of football; it’s all good and well and a heap of fun for a period of time, but you don’t want… no wait, you can’t physically do it all the time. People flip out a little, genitals become red and inflamed… and then there’s the masturbation and cocaine.

My Jennee is one amongst many it would seem, who would be more than happy for that legislation to pass. I am of the opinion that most things are OK if consumed in moderation… sugar included… and let’s chuck cocaine on that list too, but, as it was Jennee’s birfday recently and not mine I did not insist that she eat 4kg of refined sugar that was just barely being held together with a couple of eggs, a stick of butter and a handful of gluten (more work of the devil that I will be more than happy to discuss at a later date). Instead, I was more than happy for my cousin Amelia to make Jennee a lovely raw, vegan, refined sugar and lactose free, PETA approved, energy efficient, chocolate, raspberry and coconut slice.

It was pretty damn tasty, too. Someone with smart brains put some serious thought into this one! The original recipe was the brainchild of @lissywilson. Kudos to Lissy!

Jennee loving the bonfire effect on her birthday slice

Jennee loving the bonfire effect on her birthday slice

Have a piece or two the next day while you type away on your computer

Have a piece or two the next day while you type away on your computer

Just damn good. I don't care what fucking diet you're on

Just damn good. I don’t care what fucking diet you’re on

PRETTY DAMN HEALTHY CHOCOLATE-RASPBERRY-COCONUT SLICE

RASPBERRY CHIA JAM (makes approx. 2 cups. Half for now and half for toast later)

3 cups frozen raspberries
7 dates
1 tablespoon lemon juice
½ cup hot water
2 tablespoons chia seeds
2 tablespoons coconut sugar
½ cup coconut oil
A few cacao nibs and shredded coconut to garnish

• Blitz all ingredients, except coconut oil, in a food processer until pureed
• Reserve 1 cup of jam for later use
• Add coconut oil to remaining jam and blitz until combined. This will help jam to set nice and firm on your hippy slice
• Set aside until needed

CHOCOLATE-COCONUT ROUGH MIXTURE

1.25 cups coconut oil
1.25 cups coconut sugar
1.25 cups cashew butter (if you don’t know what this is ask any passing hippy or yoga instructor)
¾ cup raw cacao
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
¼ cup water

• Combine all ingredients in a cake mixer and beat until thoroughly combined and free of lumps
• Set aside until needed

PRETEND BISCUIT BASE

12 dates
1 cup raw almonds
1/3 cup tahini
½ cup desiccated coconut

• Blitz all ingredients in a food processer until well combined and a dough-like product has formed
• Cover the base of two – loaf tins or one larger baking tin with baking paper and evenly press a layer of pretend biscuit base into each
• Place tins in fridge for 30 minutes to set

NOW TO GET THE WHOLE THING TOGETHER

• Just divide the chocolate-coconut mix over the bases and smooth over a little with a spatula
• Divide the raspberry layer over the choc mix, garnish with a sprinkle of cacao nibs and shredded coconut, if using, and get that shit in the fridge to set. A couple of hours should do the job

Also, our friend Inga the usually-so-damn-health-conscious doctor made a cake for Jennee that did contain the white death (real sugar), which was a little out of sorts for her. I wasn’t concerned about that though, as… well… these types of things just don’t generally concern me. The cake was gluten free though, so she got a couple of points for that. I did taste fucking delicious too. I think I ate a third of that cake, and because of that I thought I’d best include this recipe too.

The candle was upside down but I really didn't give a damn as I filled my face hole

The candle was upside down but I really didn’t give a damn as I filled my face hole

I added some cream because I could

I added some cream because I could

Last pic

Last pic

NOT SO HEALTHY BUT STILL NOT HEAPS BAD FOR YOU CHOCOLATE-RASPBERRY CAKE

2 blocks of dark choc
125g unsalted butter
1.25 cups almond meal
5 eggs
1 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon milk
1 cup of raspberries
Cream or ice cream to serve

• Melt chocolate and butter over a bain marie or in the microwave (keep an eye on it), stirring to combine
• In a large bowl, mix together all ingredients except raspberries. Once combined, fold raspberries through mix
• Pour into a cake tin lined with baking paper, cover with foil and bake at 180C for 1.25 hours. Uncover and bake for another 20-30 minutes or until a skewer comes out almost dry… not quite though… still a little moist
• Serve it with cream or ice cream
• Eat it and love it (that is a direct quote from an actual doctor, so I suggest you do it. Do it now)

Black Rock Camping Day 2… banana cake and lamb in the camp oven (not at the same time though)

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camp oven lamb
Black Rock Camping Day 2

It was a bit of a broken sleep last night as I was awoken numerous times by the pitter patter of a good hit of rain dropping to us from somewhere above. *Fun camping fact #1 – although the sound of rain dropping on a tin roof is nice, and somewhat therapeutic, the sound of rain dropping on the family tent is not.

I got up, mildly freaking out as to whether we had stowed our camera and other water resistant items. All good… we are getting a little wiser with age apparently.

Camp breakfast was one of many pans of bacon, eggs and sausages and pots of coffee and tea, all consumed to a background rendition of “let’s yell and scream heaps even though it’s only 6:30am” as recited by the Unruly Monkey-like Special Needs Children Choir. Beautiful. Welcome to the bush, fellow campers.

The kids were more than happy to clean the bowl… no washing up for us

The kids were more than happy to clean the bowl… no washing up for us

The cake in it's new home amongst the coals

The cake in it’s new home amongst the coals

That is some good looking shit right there

That is some good looking shit right there

And yes, it did taste as good as it looks

And yes, it did taste as good as it looks

Banana cake in the camp oven was next on the agenda, as we had never attempted cooking a cake in the coals before and let’s face it, if you need to subdue a group of unruly monkies what better way to do it than with bananas or a product that is a derivative of said bananas. We were prepared for this uprising of small monkey-like children and feeding time at the zoo went down a treat! This cake was kick-ass.

Chalk one point up to the clearly smarter adults. That’s one-nil suckers!

The unruly crew

The unruly crew

The men folk drank away the afternoon while the ladies made the tents look pretty and started to prepare our next meal… well, maybe it didn’t go down exactly like that… or even remotely like that, but I did get my ass into the kitchen (camp table near the fire) because I give not a fuck about the location, I just know that being in the kitchen is my time to shine. The cooking begun, we did manage to encourage a sneaky beer or two past our bearded lips just for the sake of it. We may have been glanced that “what the fuck are you doing” glare from a wifey or two but there was five of us men folk so that really didn’t mean a thing to us right now – power in numbers, strength of the brotherhood, dib dib dib and all that shit. We would face our respective lectures on our drive home I was sure but for now, another beer please my good man.

And then the wind and rain came suddenly and mercilessly as if I had just deemed their prize winning turnip nothing but a fraudulent, fiberglass butt-plug. They worked in unison swiftly to dampen our spirits and our spare underwear, but we battened down the hatches in a fashion worthy of a “sea farers hatch battening badge”, and then the rain left us and I finished cooking my camp oven roast lamb. But it wasn’t just camp oven roast lamb; it was camp oven roast lamb, adorned with camp mint sauce and root vegetables, worthy of a “damn tasty assed camp lamb roast award”. But I’m sure you don’t really give a shit about my crappy awards now, do you?

A few herbs make all the difference

A few herbs make all the difference

Oh dear good lord

Oh dear good lord

Ready to go

Ready to go

The mint sauce really lifted this meal way out of the realm of sausages, white bread and tomato sauce

The mint sauce really lifted this meal way out of the realm of sausages, white bread and tomato sauce

LAMB SHOULDER IN THE CAMP OVEN (for 4)

1 small lamb shoulder (about 1.5kg), bone in for the flavour and to give the kids something to gnaw on
2 sprigs rosemary
2 bay leaf
1 tablespoon cumin seeds
1 tablespoon dried oregano
Salt and pepper
1 bulb garlic, sliced through the middle horizontally
A couple of handfuls of root vegetables, all cut similar size
Mint sauce, to serve

• Rub the lamb down with the herbs, spices and seasoning
• Put it in the camp oven with ½ cup of water and cover with lid
• Move a few coals out of the fire and nestle the camp oven into these, shovel a few more coals on top. Leave it for 2 hours, occasionally turning camp oven and replacing coals
• While the lamb is getting sexy, make some mint sauce just so everyone knows how much of a bawsss you are
• After 2 hours add vegetables and garlic to the bottom of the camp oven and return to the coals for another hour or until everything is tender and delicious
• Carve it up and eat it with mint sauce, washed down with the finest booze your esky has to offer

CAMP OVEN BANANA CAKE (with dubious measurements)

4 eggs
250g unsalted butter, softened by the morning sun
4 cups self raising flour
4 super ripe bananas, chopped or mashed
1 cup sugar
Milk to make it into a thick cake batter consistency – probably about 1-2 cups

• Get the kids to mix this one up so as to keep them occupied for a few minutes
• Cream sugar and butter
• Add eggs
• Add bananas
• Add flour
• Add milk
• Bake on low coals in a lined camp oven for 45 or so minutes or until cooked. I’m sure a cake tin and domestic oven will do the job just fine, too

K.

I’ll be back tomorrow with some more camp goodness.

*If you like the idea of camp oven cooking and you want to know more, there are some fine folks who have created a facey page that is all about the answers you seek. You can find it here

Paul’s Caul… Full Disclosure

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20140513-125104.jpg

Full disclosure.

I am lucky enough in this life to get random requests quite often in regard to food in one of its many guises… these opportunities may be to cook in the center of Australia for 500 people in tents or it may be cooking for Elton John it may be the honour of cooking for your mates wedding or engagement or it may be “can you make a dessert that contains cocaine?” Now that’s a story I will tell another day… but this week the strange request came from my good friends at Boomtick (gig organizing type peeps)… these guys are a little special to me (in a non window licking kinda way), they not only hosted most memorably nights of my former life but have over the years became good friends. I have worked for them on a couple of occasions now, both times cooking on Christmas day for the International acts from the Breakfest Line-up (always an honour).

All of the above excites me and reaffirms why I spend so many fucking hours peeling fucking pumpkins or washing fucking herbs…. It’s because I get to share the finished product with friends, family and interesting people from all over the joint.

I feel this week has been filled with too much pumpkin and herb preparation, so I apologize for the outburst… but holy fuck balls I hate pumpkin!!!

Anyway…

This request was to be part of an acts rider; the guys from Disclosure were over here playing at Metro City, and Parker and had requested a cheesecake. So because they are a cut above the rest, the team at Boomtick didn’t just go to the cheesecake shop and nab the first thing that resembles said cake, they instead contacted me to see if I could help… I love a challenge and to be honest I’m not known for my cakes, so I thought fuck it, lets have crack…

So incase that wasn’t clear I just said yes to making a cheesecake.

Now what flavour to create?

Why create when you can steal from another genre!

Not sure if any of this grammar is correct?

Back to the fable at hand…

I know it looks dodgy but by all that's holy it tastes incredible. So piss off!

I know it looks dodgy but by all that’s holy it tastes incredible. So piss off!

White chocolate Mojito cheesecake!

My incredible talented sister, who may or may not have a drinking problem, had made mojito cheesecake before so I thought I’ll have a go. So with my usual disregard for the actually recipe I broke it down into simple component forms and built it back up a highly tuned and lavish cheesecake formed with the best ingredients known to man.

I shit you not, there was no holding back as I figure what else can I do other than get all Heston on their arse and allow them to smell cheese whilst riding a bike made out of cake???? Wow that was weird as fuck… but that’s molecular gastronomy for ya, all bike and no pedals I always say!

All bike and no pedals!!!

This may be my favourite ridiculous quote to date… smiley face

So I whipped pure creams and folded white chocolate and blended cacao, the aroma’s are subtle but comforting, the rum, mint and lime syrup is a triumph, even the eggs are second to none… if everything you use is delicious, how can the finished product be any thing but delicious also?

Obviously the answer is because people are generally over zealous when it comes to things they like or know are quality, be subtle, pull back and use restraint and that’s when food becomes cuisine and dishes become memorable.

Better photo

Better photo

I broke this bad boy down into 4 components when cooking it and this is how it went down…

1. Base… cheesecake must have a great base
Ginger, coconut & cacao crumb
1 packet of ginger nuts
30g cacao nibs or beans (that have been shelled)
100g fresh or moist coconut
100g melted butter

In a good blender blend all ingredients to desired texture.

Now pack this tightly into what ever greased tin or tins you want.

2. White chocolate… how to inject choc love into this beast
400g good white choc
2 cups best cream you can find
2 vanilla pod scraped

Whack all in a pot and heat carefully until all melted and lovely like.

3. Cheese… can’t have an effing cheesecake without cheese
500g cream cheese
500g mascarpone
2 cups castor
6 good eggs (you know fine well what I mean)

Whip this all up in a mixer until light and smooth

Once smooth whisk in 6 eggs.

4. Mojito component… booze, booze, flavour
500ml rum that actually has flavour
2 cups mint
2 limes (zested and juiced)

Cook off a little of alcohol with flame, then infuse liquid with the mint off the heat for 10 minute to get the flavour then strain liquor.

• To put cheesecake together fold number 2-3-4 together and pour over number 1 and bake at 160c for approx. 1 hour or until no more wobble.

That may be the best way of writing a recipe or it may be the worst? Let us know…

Well I hope the lads from Disclosure enjoyed their cake and ate it too.

Paul’s Caul… Eat, drink Perth

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eat drink perth demo photo

Eat, drink Perth

If I had to use ten words to describe me, ‘Eat, Drink Perth’ would be three of them.

That statement is not only the truth, but it is quite highly possible that it will not hold any relevance to anything or anyone ever, yet here we are using talking about the correlation too my fictional ten word autobiographical blurb… why? Because its also a festival here in Perth WA, and what’s more a festival that requested my services to host an event throughout the festival.

Better question… what the fuck are the other 6 words, all I knows for sure that academic certainly ain’t one.

Now, if you are all shocked that either G-bags McFilthy Mouth or I actually hold down jobs as Chefs and what’s more get taken seriously by people in the community… then get in line because it blows my fucking mind!!!

Don’t get me wrong I’m honored to be working in a job that allows me to be creative and passionate at work. Work that is now not only just food, its entertainment, science and magic (magic may or may not be just magnets) but what the guys from City of Perth wanted was a little of all that, they wanted a cooking demo along with samples and they wanted that wrapped up in ramblings about food being the best shit ever. So how could I resist, I jumped on board and ‘Date night with Paul Macnish’ was created.

Hang on did you just say date night?

Well that name was a surprise to me also… and I dare say anyone that came ready to fling their metaphorical keys in massive metaphorical bowls.

But name aside we moved on, and the night consisted of me for an hour getting to share whatever food I wanted not only the production of said dishes but actually handed out proper tangible cuisine, brilliant! And they had a couple of massive screens behind me which were used for the screening of the food orientated movies afterwards, beanbags and wireless headsets where handed out for free and all in all it was a cracking success.

I managed to only swear a few times over 5 hours of talking and only offended two countries I know of, but all in all I was just happy not to of mentioned how much the inside of a papaya looks like a vagina… I really do set the bar of expectation very low and of the most part goals are very achievable.

Heaps of friends came down to support me which, as always, made it all worth it. I love to see new people getting into food and I love to be part of their education and growth in the world of deliciousness. But what is the best thing about food? It’s not the preparation of food and it’s not purchasing of food. It’s not the looking at food or smelling food… it is all of that and more, but above all it is about sharing it with friends… so a massive thanks to all that came down.

I promised heaps of people that I would get the recipes from the demo’s up on here. These are the recipes from the dessert week…

This a belting dessert and easy as… so get amongst it

Lemongrass panna cotta with lychee ice & ginger cacao crumb

Panna cotta
450ml cream
300ml milk
2 sheets leaf gelatin
150g castor sugar
2 large stalks lemongrass, bashed and chopped finely
• In a saucepan bring the cream, milk, sugar and lemongrass to the simmer and let cook for 3minutes, then turn off heat and allow to in fuse for 15minutes.
• Soak the gelatin sheets in cold water.
• Squeeze out the water from the sheets and whisk into the cream mixture.
• Strain mixture into a jug.
• Pour mixture equally into dariole moulds filling them 1 cm from the top.
• Allow to set over night in fridge.

Lychee ice
230g tinned lychee
30g palm sugar
4 kaffir lime leaves
1lt water
• In a small pot add the water and palm sugar and heat to dissolve.
• Add the lime leaves and allow infusing off the heat for 15 minutes then strain.
• In a good quality blender, blend lychees and add the palm sugar liquor.
• Allow to cool.
• Either churn in ice cream machine or put in freezer and stir every 15 minutes until it freezes.

Ginger, coconut & cacao crumb
1 packet of ginger nuts
30g cacao nibs or beans (that have been shelled)
100g fresh or moist coconut
• In a good blender blend all ingredients to desired texture.

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