Beef and Reef, Surf and Turf, Chicks with Dicks… Call it what you will, but it is an Australian classic.

In the late 80s there was nay a pub nor club in all the lands that would not have it on their menu. Usually reading something like this, “char grilled rib eye steak cooked to your liking and drizzled with garlic prawns in a rich garlic and white wine cream sauce. Resting atop a bed of fluffy mashed potato, with a side salad consisting of tomato, cucumber, red onion, carrot, lettuce and snow pea sprouts, and finished with fresh, virginal unicorn horn shavings…” Over explained as with everything else on their menu, but as popular as a Thai lady boy on a GI army base. There were a few regional variations; maybe bug tails if you lived north of Brisbane, or dirty old frozen marinara mix from Woolworths if you were lucky enough to live enough to live inland next to a dodgy roadhouse.

And it just dawned on me that I have never even eaten this meal of our fore fathers. I felt that there is a gap in my soul that needs to be filled…

So I was sitting down with my wife’s father aka. “Doctor Chris” (this moniker was given to him because he used to be a vet) aka. “The Kitchen Tornedo” (this moniker was given to him not because he is lightening fast in the kitchen, but because he is a man who, even after making a piece of toast and a coffee, leaves you thinking how are you going to get back to Kansas and where the fuck is Toto?). We discuss a lot of things, Dr Chris and I. Mostly I think he was sent to us to train me in the ways of being a father like the dad I never had never did. He is my Obi Wan Kenobi; I am his Anakin (hopefully I don’t turn out to be such a right prick though)… I’ll paint a picture if I may… that’s better. I did a nice renaissance style landscape. Beautiful. And now I shall tell you about Dr Chris. A slightly haunched gentleman who is reaching the end of his youngest years and is embarking on a new adventure… I think that’s what he’d want me to say. Shit this is sounding like an effing eulogy. Well, Dr Chris is defo alive and kicking. As an ex-cattle farmer and country vet he has a story for just about every occasion. He tells jokes that only a father, and no one else would consider telling, most of them start with the line, “when I was preg testing cows out the back of Dullacca…” you can take it from there. He cooks breakfasts that consist of more meat than I would normally consume in a week, stating that I need to “eat like a drover” in the morning if I’m going to make it through the day. A piece of fruit has done me just fine until now, but anyway. All of his cooking is done on a high heat, and he gets a bit frustrated that “the bloody stove” has burnt his eggs again. That’s Dr Chris…

As I was saying… we were sitting down discussing our evening meal, just because that’s how we roll around here, and the subject of steak came up. It was agreed quite shortly after that we would be dining on the tasty bovine treat known as the rib eye, or scotch fillet. At the time it was also brought to my attention that we have a shit load* of prawns in the fridge for Christmas day, and surely no-one would notice if we consumed a few of them a little early… so as the world rushed past in a last minute shopping frenzy, all so busy because no one worried about buying Christmas presents because the world was meant to end, I sat back and got ready for my reef and beef! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited.

REEF AND BEEF
1 big ol’ steak per person, season the shit out of it and cook it how you like to cook your steak. By now I’m pretty sure we’re good with that yeah?

Garlic cream prawns (for 4 people)
500g fresh prawns, peeled and deveined
4-5 cloves garlic, depending on how garlicky you like it
1 tablespoon chopped parsley
1 tablespoon chopped chives
A bottle of white wine (just a splash for this dish but we all know where the remainder can go… )
1 cup cream
Seasoning
• Sauté the garlic and prawns in a little oil, not to hot because you don’t want the garlic to burn
• After a minute deglaze the pan with a splash of white wine or even lemon juice, and then add the cream
• Reduce for a minute or two until its nice and saucy, season and chuck in the parsley and chives**
• Load up your steak and enjoy the calories. Serve with beer and a warm summer night

*Shit load. An actual unit of measurement. Somewhere between a handful and a fuck load
**If you actually chuck the parsley and chives there is a high chance you are stupid and most of the herbs will end up on the stovetop and the floor