Burgers for boy’s night

It was myself and my sons Seba and Obi, both young. Probably to young to be watching hardcore porn and drinking straight whiskey, but it was boy’s night so I’ll let the age thing slide. And we also had the company of their cousin Gareth, who was doing work experience at the restaurant I ran at the time. Needless to say, shit went down. And a lot of that shit shall not ever be repeated.

So this is how the burger went down. First it started kissing my chest, and then down to my abdomen and… whoa there nelly. Let’s keep this a C-grade comical story at the very least.

The protagonists and their steeds…

Obi. The instigator of the burger night through a drawing that made me desire a chicken burger since a few night ago. He drew a picture which we shall call exhibit “A”, and said picture had explicit detail of chicken, sausage, beetroot, lettuce, etc. Although a child’s drawing of a burger is all it takes to get me going, it was the excitement and feeling that was behind the explanation that really got me moist.

Seba. My eldest son. Eater of burgers of any race, colour or creed. He demolished a couple with the lot without a second thought.

Gareth. His mouth is an earthly end for a lot of food. And kudos to the little (a general tern of endearment, not his actual size) guy, he smothered all of the burgers he ate (yeah. ALL of the burgers. Implying that he didn’t eat just one or two burgers) in saricha hot chilli sauce. I wonder how he went the next day. His first burger was compiled thus; bun, chicko shnitto, egg, cheese, cucumber, pickle, lettuce, beetroot, mayonnaise, heaps of hot sauce. I was impressed with his love of hot sauce. I love hot sauce too. I also love hot, saucy women. Yeah that’s right Jennee.

That’s all. Go now and make a burger for thee shalt be happy.

But before I leave you today I would just like to mention that it would not surprise me in the slightest if I married a burger one day (if I ever break up with Jen). I’m sure there would be a massive protest and all of the villagers would come out with their pitch forks and goats horns and placards stating “God does not approve”. But me, not surprised at all, happy with my decision. I am in love with burgers and their seductive ways.

Re-reading that statement, maybe it would be wiser (not to mention the social acceptability) to open a burger joint… Recent studies have shown that half the people in the world love a good burger. Also, 50% of the people in the world make up half of the worlds population. Also, I may not be basing these findings on any factual evidence of any kind. That’s rock ‘n’ roll baby. On with the show…