With a title like that I’m pretty sure you’re going to be expecting a cracker of a story. Prepare to be disappointed…

Last night Sammy made herself a salmon, lemon and dill risotto for dinner. “Nice work Sammy”, I said to her. But she still had salmon and a heap of dill left after the meal. “Whatever shall I do with this salmon and dill?” she asked me. “Well my dear Sammy,” I replied, “you should make yourself some pate to enjoy while you’re watching the new season of “My Kitchen Rules” or whatever you kids are watching these days”.

This is no dramas, Monday night on the couch with a glass of white, can’t really be effed cooking sort of food… and would also make a cracking little starter if you had a few friends over for dinner.

The oringional message and a snippet of the photo of the risotto from Sammy. Initially I was quite confused as to what the lemon abduction may have been, but it all worked out well in the end

The oringional message and a snippet of the photo of the risotto from Sammy. Initially I was quite confused as to what the lemon abduction may have been, but it all worked out well in the end. I just hope she’s not upset that I’m showing the world…

1x 200g fillet of Atlantic salmon, smoked salmon would work magically here as well

1 cup cream cheese, brought to room temperature

¼ cup chopped dill

1 spring onion/shallot, diced

zest and juice of ½ lemon (zest it first because it’s not much fun trying to zest a soggy collapsing lemon)

a splash of cream, or milk if that’s all you got

seasoning

  • Poach the salmon in a glass of white wine (not in the actual glass, in a pot.The glass will shatter on the stove top rendering you incapable of poaching your salmon… and quite a few other menial daily tasks, too), a few peppercorns, a bay leaf and enough water to cover. This should take about 5 minutes at a simmer
  • Remove form heat and leave for another few minutes
  • Flake the salmon with your fingers
  • In a food processer (or with a whisk or a fork if that’s all you have available) blitz the cream cheese with two tablespoons of cream/milk until it is a smooth paste
  • With a spoon incorporate all other ingredients and mix until well combined. It should resemble a course paste, and should look nothing like a smashed pie
  • Check and adjust seasoning if necessary, then scoop into a ramekin or small bowl and smooth out the surface so it looks pretty
  • Eat it in your face with some croutons or bruschetta style on grilled bread with some pickled cucumber and chives
  • Nice job Sammy!