Goochmas or Gooch-week or some other rubbish

Foreword by my mate Troppo.

So it’s gooch-week, or goochmas* (not Christmas).  This amazing time of year helps us celebrate all things in between, both moving and stationary.  Sandwiched between two important events, it’s easy to overlook the feelings aroused at such a time.  Christmas dinner, being an extravagant affair, always involves leftovers, which begs the question; what shall we do will these sloppy seconds?   Offer them to a friend?  Have a nap and see where eating a bit more takes you? Lets look deeper and see what goochmas, the space with grace, can offer.

I went to the shops today to find a walking frame for my liver, a magical potion to re-boot my brain and maybe something to carry my enlarged belly around in. Disappointingly though, none of these items were available, so it looks like I will have to just soldier on.

Details of the last few days are kind of scarce. Photos shall make my life a whole heap easier today.

On Christmas day my children notified me that the official time to get up to open presents is dawn. As in the time when the sun comes up. So I missed the memo, but shone through my tired eyes with flamboyant Christmas cheer. Once the pressies were opened and the new inflatable sea world creatures were blown up, it was straight into the pool for a test run. The test run was a success; the inflatable pool toys stayed inflated and held the children on the top of the pools surface like a real life nativity scene… without the sheep and goats and all of that stuff.

Then it was time to eat, drink and be merry.

By 9pm I had eaten myself sober. I tried to remedy this by downing 3 beers in the space of twenty minutes but this did nothing. There was nothing else I could do but raise the white flag of defeat and take myself off to bed. Not having an actual white flag at hand, I quickly fashioned one out of a broom pole and the white pelt of the kids pet rabbit… bunny went to a better place this Christmas.

The next few days were allocated to drinking more and eating all of the leftovers from the pornographic spread that was our Christmas lunch. Now, as the dawn of a new year approaches, I leave you with visual documentation of this gooch-week and the hope that this new year brings you plenty of good food, tasty beverages, great company and finally, I hope the doctor finds a cure for that horrible rash and your bad attitude.

The stuffing for the pigs belly; pistachio, bacon, garlic, thyme, rosemary and fennel seeds
The stuffing for the pigs belly; pistachio, bacon, garlic, thyme, rosemary and fennel seeds
The stuffing is introduced to it's new home
The stuffing is introduced to it’s new home
Rolled and ready for the new oven
Rolled and ready for the new oven
Did I say new oven. This is what Jennee and I got ourselves for Christmas
Did I say new oven. This is what Jennee and I got ourselves for Christmas
The new oven loves pork
The new oven loves pork
...and I really like pork... and my new oven
…and I really love pork… and my new oven
The Christmas spread; stuffed pork belly, honey maple glazed ham, king prawns, lamb with cous cous and orange, bean and pumpkin salad, coleslaw, beetroot and quinoa salad, my nan's famous potato salad and a few condiments to top it all off
The Christmas spread; stuffed pork belly, honey maple glazed ham, king prawns, lamb with cous cous and orange, bean and pumpkin salad, coleslaw, beetroot and quinoa salad, my nan’s famous potato salad and a few condiments to top it all off
The same spread from the other side
The same spread from the other side
The same spread on my plate
The same spread on my plate
Nothing better than Christmas with friends, family, great food and a pile of booze
Nothing better than Christmas with friends, family, great food and a pile of booze
Yeah that's trifle in a jar. Jennee is off the hook!
Yeah that’s trifle in a jar. Jennee is off the hook!
Chocolate and cherry semi fredo. I have to admit I didn't eat any dessert on Christmas day but I remedied that in the days that followed
Chocolate and cherry semi fredo. I have to admit I didn’t eat any dessert on Christmas day but I remedied that in the days that followed

*goochmas or gooch-week. Reference to “the gooch”. A week between two important events. The gooch, aka no mans land, is the area between one’s primary sexual organ and the exhaust chute nestled between thy buttocks.  An area often ignored, except for the few brave travellers who like to tread the less beaten path. Speaking of beaten, I once managed to break my gooch after landing on my bum from a great height during a failed attempt at extreme sports maneuvers.  From that day forth, my respect for the gooch, and the role it plays in general forward movement, was solidified.

Published by

14 thoughts on “Goochmas or Gooch-week or some other rubbish

  1. That all looks so Delicious!!! Wish I had come there for Xmas. Although after my stomach sleeving operation I wouldn’t have fit much in but I could have smelt the lot. YUM

  2. Ohhhhh. That spread looks freaking amazing Grazza, love the fact that you had a backyard family gathering (the best kind, in my opinion). Re your new oven, I am SO JEALOUS! It’s a gorgeous beast of a thing. Have you named it?? I think you should (something like ‘Big Bertha’ would do). Glad that you had an incredible Christmas, albeit a little sleep deprived. Hope that you, Jennee and the kids have a fantastic start to the new year! Woop!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s