Word was passed about the station… the challenge was on.

The day was set. It would be yesterday, in the past.

The protagonists of this challenge would be my fair Jennee’s brother, Queenie, and my self, Grazza McFilthymouth.

The challenge would be set in our kitchen.

The challenge itself? We would each choose four ingredients that the other would have to use in his/her meal. After that it was white mans rules. We would take a trip to the fish shop and buy whatever seafood we desired for our dish, plus we could use any other ingredients we were keen on… as long as the chosen ingredients and the seafood starred like an over made-up, under dressed, pre-teen dancing queen. Rules and regulations were discussed, sweat bands and long socks were donned, steroids were ingested and the Jane Fonda warm up tape was in the VCR and ready to go… all that was required was that someone hit play, which we did, but the tape wasn’t rewound and we didn’t have the privilege of spare time right now so there was no way we could wait for the tape to rewind. It was on with the challenge, warm up or no warm up.

Just like an outback camel race, there were at least three people who were genuinely excited about this event.

Straight to the food.

Team Grazza

Ingredients; kiwi fruit, garam masala, cashews and coconut water. Plus I went out and bought myself a nice little snapper and a kg of un-cooked prawns.

I wasn’t heaps pleased with the choice of kiwi fruit as one of my ingredients. Kiwi fruit is definitely one of my least favoured fruits. It made me think of having fruit salad with the main course, which really doesn’t appeal to me as I am more a fruit salad for dessert kind of guy. But eff it, I had kiwi fruit so dessert with the fish it would be. “I’ll even put some more bloody fruit in there”, I said to self. Self smiled and reached for a mango, I’m pretty sure Queenie was shitting himself right about now… and if he wasn’t, he should’ve been.

I ended up with two dishes; baked whole snapper with coconut water dressing, salad of kiwi fruit, mango, coconut and cashew with kaffir lime, and prawns with garam masala chermoula. You want the recipes? You got it.

ROASTED SNAPPER

2 kg snapper or something else that is a tasty fish, and leave it on the bone for something different. The meat is so damn moist and delicious…

½ cup coconut water

salt

coconut water dressing, kiwi fruit, mango and cashew salad, coriander and fresh lime to serve

• Preheat oven to 200C
• Score each side of the fish (I gave mine 8 out of 10). This helps it cook evenly and peel away into nice chunks for serving. Douse with coconut water to get this coconut water challenge started. Season with salt on both sides
• Roast the fish for 15-20 minutes, or until cooked through and is peeled easily from the bone
• Place the fish on a plate that will hold it… in hindsight, a banana leaf would’ve looked hot but, well, that’s hindsight. Pour the coconut water dressing over and serve the salad on the side
• Well done. Get yourself a beer. You deserve it

COCONUT WATER DRESSING

2 cups coconut water

½ cup castor sugar

1 tablespoon fish sauce

• Simmer coconut water and sugar until reduced by half. Season with fish sauce. Bang on

KIWI FRUIT, MANGO & CASHEW SALAD

4 kiwi fruit, diced

2 mango, diced

½ onion, diced

1 cup cashew, roasted and chopped

1 cup shredded coconut, roasted (do it in the oven while it’s waiting for the fish. A minute or two should do it. And whack the cashews in there too)

½ long green chilli, deseeded and diced

½ kaffir lime leaf, shredded super fine

1 tablespoon olive oil

• Combine. There is your salad

PRAWNS WITH GARAM MASALA CHERMOULA NEXT TIME I PROMISE

 

Team Queenie

Ingredients; chorizo, beetroot, onion, cheese of his choosing. Plus he got himself a kg of nice little fresh squid.

I don’t know what Queenies thoughts were because I aint no mind reader, but this is what he came up with; Squid stuffed with chorizo, beetroot, mascarpone and mint puree, soured onions. It was delightful and I’m sure Queenie will be happy to jot the recipe down and maybe also a short anecdote about himself and a few drunken carnival folk. Maybe.

We were going to get the score cards out at the end of the night but let’s face it, with a spread like this everyone’s a winner!

HAPPY EFFING NEW YEAR FOLKS! LET’S GET THIS SHIT STARTED…