As I stated in the title of this piece, this steak sandwich happened to come into my possession purely for the purpose of carrying my home made tomato sauce to my face. I could’ve just drank it but, quite frankly, that shit just looks plain wrong.

Make a steak sandwich exactly like you would make a steak sandwich. I had mine with a big, fat-as-your-middle-aged-ass rump steak, coleslaw (you surely know how to make that by now if you’re into this blog), slightly pickled (just like me) grated beetroot (I’m pretty sure you’ve got that sorted too), cheese and home made tomato sauce… I guess it would be pretty average if the whole purpose of this post was to do something with the tomato sauce and I didn’t even use it. I put all of that between a couple of pieces of grilled sour dough bread just so I could call this sandwich a sandwich. Yeah, it’s amazing what a man will do to achieve a result these days…

The thing that should be noted right now is the fact that this is all about the tomato sauce/ketchup/whatever. This is something that I have been working on for a few years now… just like my belly… and my carnie collection (both living and dried)… and my ability to amuse passers by with my boyish wit and charm… Seriously though, home made tomato sauce has been perplexing me for years. It had an actual Grazza proof hex on it that prevented me from ever knowing its ways. The recipe for tomato sauce was hidden from my eyes, deep with-in a gypsy’s booty chest, buried on a desert island full of hippies, right underneath the oldest naked hippy girl with the longest arm hair. As I said; a place where I would never be able to find it… until now. That’s right. I have cracked my seven year itch and now have the ability to make kick-ass tomato sauce. In your face seven year itch bitch! And heed these words that are shared with you via my finger and the keys on my laptop and the interweb super highway; it is not a recipe that is easy for me to give up, but… no use taking the thing to the effing grave with me. It’s not like I have a cute little white goatee, colonel status and a perchent for fried chicken. Although, I must say, I do enjoy good fried chicken…

So here we go, and if you think it looks like it has a lot of sugar in it that’s because it does. Three cups of that sweet, sweet shimmering goodness to one and a half kilos of tomatoes… plus it has maple syrup too. Ooh la la.

Make it. Make it now.

TOMATO SAUCE
1.5kg ripe tomatoes (the same amount of tomato passata will do the trick)
1 brown onion, diced
6 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed
1 long red chilli, chopped
2 cloves
5 drops Tabasco sauce
3 cups sugar
¼ cup maple syrup
1.5 cups white wine vinegar
• Soften onions and garlic in a little oil
• Add everything else and simmer slowly for an hour
• Blitz and pass (or just blitz really well. I don’t like chunky bits in my tomato sauce, they go in the toilet after a big nice on “the juice”)
• Check viscosity by placing a tablespoon of sauce into the fridge to set
• If it needs to be a little thicker return to heat until desired consistency is achieved
• Season with salt and pepper
• Bottle that shit up for your next hamburger, bbq or cheese sandwich