WTF Nachos

NB. This is a dinner that is going to make Jennee’s cousin Sarah hangry*. Very hangry.

This is not just a recipe for nachos no, no, no, my friends. This is a recipe for what I have decided to call “WTF nachos”… or possibly “Off the hook nachos”… nah, I think I’ll stick with the WTF nacho idea. It has a kind of slightly confronting “in your face” factor, and I think the street smart acronym is really going to help it take off with the kids of today. They will collectively love me like I was their new mother… A kind of freaky scenario agreed, but don’t be too concerned, I won’t try and breast feed a single one of the little bastards.

“Why have you given them this moniker though Grazza?” I hear you ask.

The name came straight from my smart brain and the nachos were inspired by some kind of Mexican cheese fondue type thing I saw on another blog on the interweb super highway. That recipe had shitloads** of cheese, fried chorizo and no beans, and upon sighting it with my eyes I decided I must have it. But just chorizo and cheese? As much as I would’ve liked that to be my dinner it certainly wasn’t going to fly with the Children’s Healthy Eating Authority (CHEA). CHEA decreed that, as a parent cooking for his children, I needed something a little more nutritious in this dish. Yes I am still a parent, as much as I feel like I’m one of the kids a lot of the time… most of the time… OK, pretty much all of the time. So anyway, my childish mind and all that comes with it aside, I decided I would cleverly disguise the Mexi fondue by putting a layer of nacho beans underneath it, and we even had a few carrot and cucumber sticks on the side.

Nacho beans (Childrens Healthy Eating Authority approved)
1 brown onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, crushed
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 tablespoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon dried chilli flakes
2 400g tins red kidney beans, drained
1 400g tin diced tomato
Seasoning
• Sweat off the onions in a little oil
• Once they start to colour add the garlic and dried spices. Cook out for another minute or two
• Add the tomatoes and beans and simmer on low heat for 30 minutes, adding a little water if they start to stick
• Blitz beans with a hand wizz to a semi smooth but still a little chunky type consistency
• Season with salt and pepper to taste

Cheesey goodness
1 cup grated mozzarella
1 cup grated cheddar
½ cup ricotta

Chorizoy love
4 chorizo sausages, diced or blitzed to a mince type consistency
• Fry this off in a little oil until crispy and the chorizo has released it’s lush red liquid gold

Corn chips
1 bag of your favourites

To get it all together
• Put the beans into the bottom of a pan that can go under your griller or into the oven. Cover the beans with the cheese and grill/bake on high for five or so minutes, until it is bubbling and golden
• Spoon the chorizo and all of it’s tasty oil (not CHEA approved, but do it anyway) into the center of the cheese
• Serve with corn chips, tomato salsa and whatever healthy shit you feel is necessary, on the side
• Thank me later

*hangry; hungry angry. A term used when seeing pics of food makes you hungry and also angry they you don’t have it (as explained by Sarah Cootes). I thought it could also work well to describe being hungry with a hangover… or being angry because you’re not very well hung (this one would possibly only apply to males… hopefully)

**an actual unit of measurement