Yeah, pretty bold statement eh. Well I’m a pretty bold kind of guy – I’m overly confident in myself and I have a little voice in my head that tells me it is OK to fling aspersions about the place as if they are based on scientific studies conducted in a Nordic country resulting in wholly factual findings. Also, my ability to construct a sentence without grammatical errors is knocking on the door of a big fat zero.
Your smart brains may be telling you right now that there is a high chance I have visited this little hinterland beauty recently… listen to your smart brains my friend, for they are correct.
I should’ve got a pic of the road into town for you because it is damn well picturesque. It has a backdrop of heaps of pretty things like sky and lush hills and shit, of which the queen must be Mt Chincogan. If Mt Chincogan is the queen, then a little further north is Mt Warning, her king. So damn good at being brilliantly regal it would be the king that all the other kings came to for advice on how to be more awesome and king-ish. It’s just damn pretty. As I did not get a picture of the road into town I can only offer you this;
Back to explaining that opening sentence.
Apart from the picture perfect, neo-realist painting that is the back drop to the town, we found a couple of cracking new(ish) joints that, if they gather enough support, will pave the way for the new breed of Mullum (that’s what we call it for short) eateries with an emphasis on making things that are good and tasty and are just begging to get the hell into your face and give your taste buds a damn good seeing to. In fact, if the things that these guys are making were prostitutes they would be handing back your fifties, getting down on their hands and knees and literally begging you to let them give you the deluxe package upgrade… rubber ducky included.
I literally have no idea what I am talking about anymore.
Ah yes, eating in Mullum.
Oh dear good lord. This is the exact way I wanted my breakfast to be. I had grilled local chorizo with a free-range fried egg (not my bad grammar for a change), marinated peppers and shaved manchego on organic caraway rye-sourdough (16.0) with a side of twice smoked local bacon (4.0) and that is what it was. The flavours were everything I expected plus more. It was truly a game changing breakfast – the bar has been raised, the breakfast-o-meter recalibrated and my taste buds well and truly gratified.
Jennee opted for the truffled mushrooms with Jamon Serrano, rocket, chilli and shaved pecorino on organic caraway rye-sourdough (16.0), which was quite predictable of her I must say. But the meal was nothing like predictable at all. For one, it wasn’t an eleven letter word and two, it was quite simply damn awesome in a way the outshone any predictable outcome. Creamy mushrooms, pecorino (which I love, love, love), jamon… it was a great. It could’ve done with a little more truffliness, but it was still damn fine.
We had coffee which was delivered in little paper cups with an effing cool, hand-stamped picture of what I think was Punch, from the Punch and Judy thing that happened in the olden days, with a daisy in his mouth. The coffee that was inside the cups was tasty tasty me likey, but even without the coffee, they were damn cool cups.
Finished. Done. Say good bye and then we’re off. Just like Dorothy we followed the yellow brick road (which is in fact an actual road which led onto a paved foot path… which is grey) to the opposite side of the street and down a little arcade to the door of Scratch Patisserie.
Scratch have been about for a while, doing wholesale and markets, but have recently opened a retail shop across the arcade from their bakery.
These folks know pastries. I was buying these croissants five years ago because they were simply the best croissants available in the area… and quite frankly they still are.
I needed a couple of samples to really get the gist of what was going on here and configure an informed opinion for this review, so it would be a macadamia croissant, a pan au raisin and a gluten free brownie (all 4.5 each I think). Croissants made with real butter are hard to find in these here parts, and these did not disappoint. I wish I had handed over a few more of the Queen’s dollars to bring armfuls of pastries home but I did not so, on the upside, a new belt will not need to be purchased this week.
If I had some kind of emoji app I would be putting up all sorts of punchy fist, a-one hand, thumbs up, happy face shit all in your face, but I don’t so I will just say this; do your taste buds a favour next time you are in or around Mullum and try these joints out. Wait, I have a better idea. Get in your car now right now and drive the hell out there purely to treat your taste buds to the enjoyment of delicious food. Go now.