September 19, 2017
foodisthebestshitever
bbq, seafood
cooking, cooking seafood, food, food love, foodisthebestshitever, garlic butter, garlic butter recipe, gluten free, how to cook, lanes seasoning, local as fuck, man fire eat, oysters, prawns, pro q, pro q aus, qnami seasoning, recipes, scallops, seafood, seafood recipe, seafood with garlic butter, smoked seafood, southern cooking
A simple, three-step recipe for a damn fine night with your one and only while the children are absent on school camp.
1. Ship the children off to school camp. It is important to remember that this involves more than just sending your offspring to their place of learning (yes, that’s questionable but we’ll get back to that gripping social commentary at a later date) and leaving them with a packed bag and no intention of returning to pick them up. In fact, you can get into a lot of trouble for that type of behavior. You will need the school that your children are attending to host a student camp and take those little cherubs off of your hands, and you need them to be gone for a few nights at the very least.
2. Once the children have stepped out of the car and the doors have been closed behind them it is time to head straight down to your local purveyors of home entertainment goods, quality seafood and booze and, in that order, get yourself a new home entertainment system – something big… and in colour… and with wireless remote control. Yeah, we’re going all out on this one (or maybe you already have one of these and this step can be omitted), get a pile of fresh seafood – we chose prawns (shrimp), scallops, ocean trout and oysters, and defo get some quality booze of some kind – some ingredients for a mojito plus a decent bubbly for later was a pretty good call methinks.
3. Drink some booze and cook that seafood and serve it with garlicky butter as per following recipe. Pretty simple huh…
Outstanding prep to flavour ratio right there
Get it going on
Seafood, butter sauce and booze. That is a good time
(serves 2-4, depending on how buttery you like it)
250g unsalted butter
6-8 cloves garlic, chopped
1 teaspoon seafood seasoning, we used Lanes Q-Nami to absolutely outstanding effect
1 handful parsley, chopped
Juice of ½ lemon
A little extra salt and pepper if needed
A decent pile of fresh seafood, straight off the coals
Bread to mop up any extra buttery goodness
Sauté the garlic with one tablespoon of butter to get the show on the road. Once garlic has softened, add remaining butter and seafood seasoning and cook out over medium heat until butter start to foam.
Pour lemon juice into butter and remove from heat.
Check seasoning and adjust if necessary.
Get it onto the table with a pile of seafood.
Use bread to mop up any extra puddles of that liquid gold and, if the mood encourages it, maybe even save a little butter sauce for garlic butter boobies later on.
Hey, I don’t know what you freaking pervs get up to when the kids are away…
July 17, 2017
foodisthebestshitever
bbq, pork
barbecue, bbq, cooking, eating, food love, foodisthebestshitever, gluten free, hot sauce, how to cook, how to make nachos, low and slow, nacho recipe, nachos, pit beans, pork nachos, pork ribs, recipes, smoked pork ribs, smoking, smoky goodness, stick burner, the best nachos
This is a story about some really good nachos.
I am not implying that you don’t know how to make nachos, it’s just that these nachos are, well, probably better than yours. Soz.
And these nachos also involve one of my favourite sort of early week cooking scenarios – using up the inevitable pile of smoked meat or other random goodies I have left from my weekend of backyard experimentation (just to make it clear I have not been sewing chickens bodies to pigs faces or anything freaky like that, and I certainly haven’t been doing any of that your-turn-to-take-me-roughly-from-behind, keep it in the garden shed type experimentation either. Just above board, smoky meaty goodness. Thumbs up)
If you have the skill set you could defo make a pile of delicious smoked meat and awesome condiments, (which is something I do enjoy doing with my spare time and that is the truth) but the fact of the matter is that I am a cook and that’s what I do with my life and I am not so stubborn and/or dumb that I can’t realise that often times your kitchen skills may be borderline mediocre at best and you need a little help with a meal that may involve more than one pot and indeed a slew of ingredients.
So I guess my point is this – either a) make friends with someone who loves to BBQ and more importantly is quite decent at it, and clean up their BBQ leftovers after the weekend or, b) head down to your local BBQ joint of good repute and purchase some tasty meaty goodness from someone who can actually cook this stuff, and then it’s onto some kick-ass nachos.
In the words of the late, great Ramones – let’s go!
Still life featuring nacho ingredients
Heating my pork ribs on the ol’ Warm Ray
Choppy choppy pork rib
Nachos supremo
1 family pack of corn chips
1-2 cups chopped left over smoked or roasted meat (I had smoked pork ribs)
2 cup of pit beans or nacho beans
2 cups grated cheese
1 cup guacamole
1 cup sour cream
½ cup tomato salsa
Pickled onions and jalapenos
Coriander
Hot sauce
BBQ rub or some kind of nacho seasoning
Spread corn chips over an oven tray, sprinkle grated cheese over the top and then bake in a pre-heated 200C oven for 5-10 minutes until chips are warm and cheese is melted.
Meanwhile, heat your meat and beans (separately) and set them aside.
When chips are where you want them, slide them off the baking tray and onto something a little cooler to serve or, you know what, just eat them the heck straight off of the oven tray. I fricking love that shit.
Scoop beans onto the chips followed by meat, guacamole, sour cream, salsa, pickles, coriander, hot sauce and seasoning.
Eat that, drink beer and thank the dear sweet lord for BBQ left overs!
I would suggest the couch is a good place to eat these
June 11, 2017
foodisthebestshitever
condiments, gluten free/ can be gluten free
barbecue, bbq, cooking, cornsalsa, dairy free, dinner, easy cooking, easy tasty good, food, food blog, food love, foodisthebestshitever, gluten free, go antwhere salsa, how to cook, how to make salsa, recipes, salsa, salsa for nachos, salsarecipe, taco tuesday, tacos, tex-mex
This (or some kind of slightly bastardised, red headed step child of a version of this) is the salsa you will now use to impress people when you don’t actually have the brain capacity and/or motor skill to impress people.
This is the thesaurus of the intellectually incapacitated… it is the bath for the homeless man… it is the Google of the modern child… it is the facelift for the elderly whore… it is… time to move on.
The thing is, it will make you seem like a heaps cleverer person than you actually are.
The scenario may be something as simple as you impressing the heck out of yourself with a hangover dinner of shit-in-a-tin nachos topped with this little ray of sun shine of a salsa, or maybe you just want to mix it with a little chopped lettuce for “your own version” (wink, wink) of a chopped salad, or maybe you invite a heap of pretty girls over and impress the knickers off of them with some tasty assed tacos topped with this look-like-a-champion salsa, or maybe even your boss comes for dinner and you serve this with a beautifully roasted piece of chicken (you can find that a few posts back), sautéed spinach or kale and a delicious pan gravy.
Seriously, I am even starting to impress myself a little right now, and believe me – I’m pretty tough to win over.
Grill that corn or flash it in a pan if that’s all you got
Really close to the corn salsa
Really far away from the corn salsa
2 sweet corn, grilled, kernels stripped
2 medium tomatoes, dice (I really can’t be too fucked to remove the seeds)
1 lebanese cucumber, deseeded and diced (Yes. I fucking deseed the cucumber. It’s heaps easier and more efficient than deseeding tomatoes though)
½ red onion, diced
50-100g feta, crumbled
½ bunch coriander and/or oregano, roughly chopped
A splash (or 10) of your favourite hot sauce
Juice of 1-2 limes
1 tablespoon olive oil
Salt and pepper
Get it all into a large mixing bowl.
Mix gently to combine.
Put on something and eat it in your face.
May 28, 2017
foodisthebestshitever
condiments, gluten free/ can be gluten free
all the good shit, apple cider vinaigrette, apple cider vinaigrette recipe, apple cider vinegar, boobies, cooking, dairy free, gluten free, how to make salad dressing, recipes, salad dressing, salad dressing recipe, southern cooking, the best salad dressing, vinaigrette, vinaigrette recipe
Apple cider vinaigrette
This is a recipe that I constantly forget to give you fine folks, and for that I’m sorry. But I am giving it to you right now (Well, I’m not actually “giving it to you” right now because that would be perverted… unless it’s consensual I guess… a conversation for another time fo’ sho), and for that you should probably be pretty thankful.
Tangy, a little bit sweet and really good for putting on just about anything – leafy herby salads, potato salad, coleslaw, warm salads such as this one and yes, the use of the term “anything” does definitely include your girlfriends boobies or your boyfriends whatever thingy that a boyfriend has. You will wonder how you have come so far in life with out it… just like everyone else wonders how you have come so far in life full stop… and indeed if you could be trusted to sit the right way on a toilet seat.
This is the sort of thing you can make days, weeks or even years ahead of that “big date” with “the one”, or even permanently have on hand as it will last approximately 1 million years* in your refrigerator.
These are probably some of the most average photos I have attached to a post… And they are definitely in some really good company…
(makes heaps enough for a few salads)
¼ cup yellow mustard (or whatever mustard it is that you like)
2 tablespoons castor sugar
100ml apple cider vinegar
400ml some kind of neutral tasting oil
A pinch of salt
Slowly emulsify oil into other ingredients using a stick wizz or whisk or possibly a small branch with the leaves removed (it’s the same as that mayonnaise thing you learnt about that one time).
You could even try the ol’ put-all-of-the-ingredients-in-a-jar-and-shake-it-up trick if you’re keen.
Store that in the fridge for the rest of your life.
*Might not last quite that long. Let me know how you go.
April 18, 2017
foodisthebestshitever
bbq, beef, pork
baked beans, baked beans recipe, beans, brisket, chuck wagon, cowboy beans, cowboy beans recipe, cowboys, dairy free, easy tasty good, food, food love, gluten free, how to cook, john wayne, leftovers, low and slow, northern rivers food, old west, pork, recipes, smoked beans, smoked pork, smoked sausage, tastier than snake and cactus
So I made some cowboy beans.
Actually, I’m not even sure what cowboy beans are, but this is what I imagine they may be. But they may not be this at all. Definitely do not tell your friends these are OG cowboy beans as that may not be fact. I would even go so far as to say there is a high chance it would not be fact. It could even be said that you pretty much just shouldn’t take any of the words on these here pages, or indeed those that pass my lips, as being fact. I’m pretty much a big fat faker. This is not gospel and I am not the lord. Onto those beans…
I feel they would be most authentic served from a big pot on the back of the chuck wagon. That is a fact.
Time for oven loving
Now it’s get into my face time
(For the family. Like the whole family. Like extended family, neighbours, stray kids and those carnie folk just barely clinging onto life in the cage under your back stair case… and then there will probably still be some to freeze down for later.)
500g navy beans, black beans or whatever the frick kinda dried beans you have floating about in the back of your wagon, soaked over night and then cooked until tender
500-800g whatever meat you have floating about in the back of your wagon. BBQ leftovers are the best for this – smoked brisket, pork ribs, actually any cut of pork or sausages… roast left overs… or just some nice smoky porky things from your local man
1 teaspoon each onion powder, garlic powder and hot sauce
1 tablespoon each American ballpark mustard and Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons Big Red Rub or your favourite BBQ dry rub
½ cup tomato ketchup
3x 400g tins crushed or chopped tomatoes or something similar
Salt and pepper
Fried eggs (or crack them straight into the beans and bake for an extra 5 minutes for tasty-assed one pan glory), chopped fresh herbs, jalapenos and toast to serve
Chop meat/s into bite sized chunks.
Heat a splash of oil in a large oven pan over medium heat. Add meat/s and sauté until browned a little.
Add all other ingredients and cook out for 5 minutes.
Check seasoning and adjust if necessary (that’s what your salt and pepper is for).
Place into 180-200C oven for 45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes. Add a splash of water if mix starts to dry out – kinda saucy is kinda good I reckon. (You could finish these beans totally on the stovetop if you don’t feel like lighting your oven… or you just don’t actually have an oven… but they really do benefit from a little oven bubbly caramelized tomato bits. Jus’ saying)
That’s it. Serve it up – breakfast, lunch or dinner. Pretty simple, just how the cowboys would’ve liked it. Yeehaw.
February 21, 2017
foodisthebestshitever
condiments, vege
cooking, dairy free, dona cholita tortilla, food, foodisthebestshitever, gluten free, how to make pico de gallo, mango, mango pico de gallo, mango pico de gallo recipe, mango salad, mango salsa, mexican, pico de gallo, pico de gallo recipe, recipes, salsa, salsa recipe, taco
It has become apparent to myself and probably some of the more astute of my followers out there in inter web land, that I have eaten tacos more than once in recent weeks.
One might say I am someone who enjoys the taco.
One may be correct.
You are one.
What is one?
One what?
One babe?
One babe with the power?
Who knows? I really don’t. But one thing is for sure and certain; once again we find ourselves in the old Toyota corolla “bush basher”, trundling around the paddock, through the shrubbery, bouncing out of the ditches and over the old tree stumps and well and truly off the track… glancing well and truly past the point… venturing into some kind of socially inept void… Fuck dude, it’s really time to get a little shuffle on here.
Yes I like tacos and yes, I made some pico de gallo with a mango our friend Sulmae gave us, to go on those tacos that I enjoy so much.
It’s a damn good salsa for fish – I can vouch for that for sure – but I’m also pretty sure it would be a damn tasty little number to dress up just about any other seafood, some chicken or pork, or whatever the heck else you wanna put it on… after all, you paid for those ingredients and made it with your own hands and sweated and… and… and… you… didn’t pay for those ingredients? You obtained those ingredients by dishonest means? This is bullshit. I’m out.
Pretty colours
That’s the salsa from a little further away
…and then that’s the salsa up nice and close
Get some fish all up in that piece
Nom nom nom
1 medium or ½ large mango, skin removed, diced just like you’d dice things for a salsa
1 medium tomato, ripe, diced the same as above
½ red onion, diced much the same
½ jalapeno (more if you like hit hotter), diced same
A handful of coriander, chopped however
Juice of half a juicy lime
A little salt and pepper
• Mix all ingredients together in a bowl that is big enough
• Um, eat it on a taco or something
Tasty shit right there
February 6, 2017
foodisthebestshitever
essentials
charred tomato salsa, condiments, cooking, dairy free, dinner, food, foodisthebestshitever, gluten free, how to make salsa, mexican, mexican recipes, nachos, really good salsa, recipes, salsa, tacos, tomato salsa, tomato salsa recipe
Lime is pretty good too. Hot sauce and jalapeños – both good on the Mexican dinner table
I like Mexican food.
Stuff like tacos.
I am a huge fan of any culture that is going to serve me a meal with a heap of condiments on the table so I get to adjust the flavours and the seasonings to my own personal taste as I go. That is a culture that is putting my feelings first.
I really do appreciate the things the Mexican people do for my taste buds.
That and their can-do attitude.
Straight up. Did they say they were a Mexi-can’t? No. Mexi-can all the way. I give not one single shit for the words of bigoted white billionaire businessmen who have just recently become president of the USA, and their words of fences and things of the sort. Mexico for president as far as I’m concerned.
Thank you once again to my nice-food-making, good-attitude-having, Mexican brothers and sisters.
Tomatoes, onion and garlic straight on the flame
Starting to get all charry
That’s the salsa
4 ripe tomatoes, charred over a flame until they start to blacken and blister
1 eshallot or half an onion, also charred over that flame
2 cloves garlic, fuck it – char them too
1 pickled jalapeño chilli, chopped
1 tablespoon of the jalapeño vinegar
1/2 teaspoon of sugar
A small handful of coriander, chopped (use the stalky bits for the salsa and the pretty leaves for garnish)
Salt and pepper
• Peel the blackened skin from the tomatoes, onions and garlic and then roughly chop.
• Put everything into a food processor and pulse into a chunky salsa type thing.
• Put it on tacos and nachos and other Mexican-y things.
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