Smoky Nom Noms Pork Loin for the Blogiversary

smoked pork loin
It came to passing that this week was foodisthebestshitever’s third year blogiversary or birthday or whatever you may like to call it.

What sort of celebration did we have, I hear you ask. A massive party with fire breathers and acrobats and a big bear with a little hat and waistcoat? A feast of epic proportions? A celebration of life and an alignment of our shakras by an ancient druid to enable clear vision and strength for the next year this little project will face?

That carrot and cucumber salad
That carrot and cucumber salad

No. no, no. None of the above.

This little blog was sent nary card nor well wishing from admiring fans or family. It was the orphaned child of the food blog world. Even I, as it’s adopted father, failed to realise it’s birthday had passed until a day or two after the event and then what? Did I try and make things better by turning up with gifts, a card with really nice words written in it that I had clearly paid someone else to write and arms full of adoration and love? Nope. No nominations for blog father of the year coming in today, quite possibly a few for non-sensible shite dribbler of the year, but none for blog father that’s for sure.

Get it together
Get it together

One thing I did do was drink a few beers, a little bit of wine and quite possibly even a vodka or two and then made myself a little smoked pork loin for din dins. It was smoky and sticky and delicious, and then the next day in a sandwich with egg and brown sauce and the dirty hangover that could’ve so easily edged it’s way into my day didn’t even get a look in. Suck shit dirty hangover.
Smoked pork, egg and brown sauce sandwich for breakfast. Oh dear good lord this was the business
Smoked pork, egg and brown sauce sandwich for breakfast. Oh dear good lord this was the business

Smoky pork loin goodness
Smoky pork loin goodness

SMOKY NOM NOMS PORK LOIN

1.5kg pork loin (mine came from Cromwell Farms)
¼ cup yellow mustard
2 tablespoons honey (straight from Cromwell Farms hives)
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

• Mix mustard, honey and vinegar together and rub that goodness all over the pork. Really give it some love. Set aside for an hour or two to get a little sexier
• Put in your webber/smoker/grill/oven on low-medium heat (160-170C) for an hour or so
• Rest for 15 minutes, slice and eat it in your face
• Smile and be proud that you did something really nice with a pile of stuff from a farm just up the road
• Tomorrow you can put the leftover pork in a sandwich with your own chooks eggs, Phil’s brown sauce and bread from Jordans Organic Bakery in Mullumbimby. Locavore belly filling satisfaction at it’s very finest!

Pretty carrots...
Pretty carrots…

HEIRLOOM CARROT & CUCUMBER SALAD

A cucumber, a handful of carrots and a little parsley and mint all from the back garden, sliced thinly on the diagonal
A splash white wine vinegar
A splash of olive oil
Seasoning
• Get it all together and check seasoning
• Let it sit for 5-10 minutes for flavours to mingle and really get to know each other
• Feel free to beam with pride that everything for this salad came from your own garden
• In hindsight, this really was a great celebration of simple home-grown goodness that this blog seems to be all about… I think…

Burger Buns a la Stephane Raynaud’s “Gourmet Hotdogs”

burger, burger buns
I have had burgers before, not in the biblical sense, but a good burger is something I like to eat on a regular basis. It is not about the weather, or a mood thing, or to do with religion, I just like to eat burgers… straight into my face hole.

During my last twenty years on this earth I have certainly cooked a few of these one hand delivery, covering all food groups, suductively shaped, alluring, tasty little morsels and if you’re keen you can find a recipe for one in a heap of different places on this blog. I would suggest typing “burger” into the search bar in the top right corner of this page. Or, alternately, go to someone else’s better blog and type “burger” into the search page on theirs.

But today it isn’t about the burger. Much like the sexy all-male review sans the sweaty middle-aged women and fifty dollar notes, today it is all about the sweet, buttery buns.

This recipe was handed to me from Stephane Reynaud via his book “Gourmet Hotdogs – How To Dress Your Dog With Style” which was gifted to me on my last birthday by great friends and, without even close competition, my favourite will-they-ever-actually-be-married couple, Mark and Kate, who bought (or possibly stole… I saw no receipt…) it from a bookshop, the owner of said bookshop having purchased it from a book wholesaler. So that is how I have come to be in possession of this sweet milk bun recipe… and it was a cracker. Kinda brioche-y, but not.

I’m trying the straight ol’ milk buns next to see which I prefer… who cares? I know.

The book. There's some mighty fine looking hotdogs in here too
The book. There’s some mighty fine looking hotdogs in here too

Just after the second proving, all dressed up ready for the oven
Just after the second proving, all dressed up ready for the oven
Out of the oven. Nothing wrong with those buns
Out of the oven. Nothing wrong with those buns
Burgers grilled over coals are damn good burgers
Burgers grilled over coals are damn good burgers
Especially when they have cheese and bacon on top
Especially when they have cheese and Cromwell Farms bacon on top
It looks like my burger is trying to eat the pickle. It's not though, because it is a burger
It looks like my burger is trying to eat the pickle. It’s not though, because it is a burger

(I kinda stuffed up the measurements a little because the acid was just starting to kick in, so what I’ve ended up with is a cross breed of his milk buns and sweet milk buns. Deal with it)

SWEET MILK BUNS a la STEPHANE REYNAUD (sort of)

1 sachet (7g) yeast
200ml lukewarm milk
400g strong flour
50g castor sugar
75g softened butter
1 teaspoon salt
1 egg, lightly beaten
Sesame seeds
• Add the yeast to the lukewarm milk
• Combine all ingredients and kneed until smooth and elastic to form a compact ball. Cover with a damp cloth and allow dough to rise for 1 hour at room temperature
• Punch the air out of the dough, shape into six pretty evenly sized rolls and place on a baking tray lined with baking paper. Cover with a warm damp cloth and let them rise again at room temperature for 1 hour
• Glaze with egg and sprinkle with sesame seeds, then bake in a pre-heated oven at 180C for 15 minutes
• Slice it open and fill it with whatever it is you like to put on a burger