Flood goals: all I wanted was a cheese and kimchi toasted sandwich

cheese and kimchi toasted sandwich
To be absolutely honest, a cheese and kimchi toasted sandwich is something I think about quite regularly. The only problem with my cheese and kimchi toasted sandwich dreaming is that it doesn’t always hit me at the most practical of moments. Sometimes I will be driving my car, other times I will already be in bed and damn near falling to sleep and other times I will be midway through beating my carnie sex slave: all very inconvenient moments I think you would agree.

Today I woke up thinking about a cheese and kimchi toasted sandwich which, as it turned out, was to be very convenient timing.

I quickly discovered that today I would not be leaving the house. Housebound. Placed under house arrest by the unstoppable force that is Mother Nature. My case was unappealable, my sentence unquestionable: I had indeed been put on lock down by the powers of Mother Nature through broken river beds, submerged bridges and the formation of vast inland lake positioned exactly where I vaguely remember yesterday was a field containing a few cows, an old tracker and a farmer who was doing something very strange with his Lismore Agricultural Show Society blue ribbon winning crop of root vegetables…

This is our back yard. The river is normally chilling at the base of the tree line in the back ground...
This is our back yard. The river is normally chilling at the base of the tree line in the back ground…

So yes, we were indeed flooded in. I took this rare moment of incarceration to take it upon my own self to make said cheese and kimchi toastie* and it was bloody delicious. As I ate my toasted bread bound treat I pondered what it would be that I would be cooking for our dinner – as is often the case on any given day of my life but certainly personified when I am house-bound – and I quickly remembered I had stashed a chicken that was gifted to me by my friend Andrew who grows chickens** in a field in the hills behind Byron Bay.

But that’s up next. Here’s your cheese and kimchi toast for a rainy (really rainy) day.

Get on it.

Load it up. Pretty simple eh.
Load it up. Pretty simple eh.

Golden brown is a pretty good colour for a toasted sandwich.
Golden brown is a pretty good colour for a toasted sandwich.


2 slices of your favourite bread – I used a cheese and jalapeño loaf I get from Jordan’s Bakery in Mullumbimby
2 slices of your favourite cheese – I used jack cheese but anything cheddary works very nicely
1/2 cup kimchi (recipe here if you’re keen to make your own. It’s pretty bloody easy and tasty and really offing healthy I’ve heard)
Olive oil and butter to cook
Tomato ketchup to serve because I pretty much have tomato ketchup with every single toastie I have ever eaten ever

• Put one slice of cheese down on your first slice of bread, cover it with kimchi, put more cheese on top and cover with the other slice of bread to form “a sandwich”

• Heat a splash of oil in a frying pan on low flame. Add sandwich to pan and brush a little oil over the bread on the top side of the sandwich. Fry sandwich for 2 minutes or so each side

• When sandwich is starting to brown rub top side with a little butter, flip and repeat process on other side. i do believe the butter helps it brown more evenly and also makes the sandwich extra tasty with it’s amazing buttery powers

• When sandwich is browned and cheese is melted it’s time to eat that bad boy. Usually I like eat my toasted sandwiches with a splash of tomato ketchup and you best believe that’s what I did today

*Toastie. Also a very feasible name for the toasted sandwich around these parts.

**He doesn’t grow them like people might grow corn or marijuana crops, but I still feel I can use the term in this instance. He does let them live in large enclosures though, which I think is pretty good because then they get to eat bugs and grass and shit which is stuff that chickens like eating.

What becomes of the broken bunnies?

After our effing fantastic flood relief rabbit cook up last night (or two nights ago now) there was still a bit of chicken and rabbit left. I always have fun with leftovers. I wait until everybody has left the house and then I sit back and have a glass of wine and I slowly… No. Not that much fun!

I know a lot of people who won’t do leftovers, but I like to think that I’ve had the forethought of mind to get my mis-en-place ready for a couple of meals tomorrow. The actual facts may state that I over catered, or maybe I don’t have as many friends as I thought I did, but I’ll stick to my original story…

smoked chicken, bacon, cheese and mayonnaise toastie for breakfast
smoked chicken, bacon, cheese and mayonnaise toastie for breakfast

The truth about the chicken is last night… I woke up at four o’clock and had an insane craving for a chicken, bacon, cheese and mayonnaise toasted sandwich…I don’t know if someone may have cheekily got me pregnant or intravenously gave me a big ol’ J, but I wanted that shit bad. If we had mayonnaise in the fridge it would’ve happened. I seriously contemplated making said mayonnaise but the thought of waking the wiffy with the sound of kitchen antics didn’t really appeal to me. I am a smart man. So anyway, I woke and the craving was still solidly there. So that’s what I did with the left over chicken.

The rabbit fell prey to my love of pâté and things of the like (charcuterie). Blitzed up with its stuffing and a knob of butter, that would be my dinner this evening. Served in awesome style with guindillas (Spanish pickled chillis. Try them, they’re magic), olives, pickled slaw and croutons. Great work me.

no through road alright
no through road alright
the same road... with road included
the same road… with road included


the broken bunny
the broken bunny

I took a heap of really nice photos of the rabbit pate but it seems that my camera is having some more personality issues and wants to go and join the circus and live the life of a travelling performer. So alas, it refuses to do the duties it was born to do, thus making itself redundant. Last time I checked there is no retirement/pension plan for cameras so I guess it will be joining the queue at the local soup kitchen. What can I say? It was fun while it lasted… at least the flood waters have subsided and the rains are now but a mere trickle (not unlike an old man at the urinal at the local RSL), so the walk into town with it’s hobo pack should be a little more comfortable. If you see a stray Cannon camera trekking on the highway maybe offer him a ride… and tell him he will always have a special spot in my heart, but I got no room for baggage around here.

Salami, zucchini pickle, tomme and anchovy sandwich


Ok. I know I’ve been lacking a bit on the blogland post front a bit for the last week or so but don’t think it’s because I don’t love you. I’ve just been hella busy a work and also discovered I have a new best friend – Barmah Forest Virus*. Which goes a little like this… We love and hold each other until she decrees that she will release me from this organised marriage of which I wanted no part. We hang out day and night. We go to the park together, we eat together, heck, we even shower together. We’re not actual besties though… more like conjoined twins with a raging dislike for each other (mostly due to the fact that one of us is a compulsive masturbator)… Not unlike the 80’s classic Wedlock. Electronic collars containing explosive devices remotely connect Rutger Hauer and Mimi Rodgers. Fucked. I do not like her and wish she would go away never to return. So the short story is, I’m shit at the mo’. But whatever. I’m sure if you wanted to listen to whiney bastards weekly you wouldn’t have subscribed to this blog!




That is what I’m on about. Food to sooth the soul and revitalise the head face. Food that is the best shit ever. A damn good sandwich. So on with it kid…


My new favorite sandwich; Salami, zucchini pickle, Tomme goat’s cheese and anchovy. Even as I write this my hand is glistening with anchovy oil. I am excited! And not just because my hand is lubed up and ready to go. This is a damn good sandwich and you should try it some day for sure.


These are the things you need;


ready for the grillin'
ready for the grillin’

Zucchini pickle

I thought I’d given you a recipe for this previously but I haven’t. That, to me, is just plain rude, so here it is…


Zucchini pickle

3-4 medium zucchini, slice into thin rounds or diced


1 brown onion, sliced

3 Tbls castor sugar

3 Tbls red wine vinegar

  • Sprinkle the zucchini with a tablespoon of salt an let it sit for 15 minutes while you start getting a little pickled yourself. You’re going to need to calm yourself a little. This sandwich is going to rock your world…
  • Sauté the zucchini and onion in 2 tablespoons of olive oil for 10-15 minutes. You want to get a bit of colour on it, and it’s not a biggie if it starts to stick. That just means it’s time to get the other ingredients in
  • Add the sugar and vinegar and cook out on a medium heat for another 5 minutes, or until caramelised and syrup-y



Salami from someone who knows how to make salami. I do not know how to make salami but am keen to learn.


Tomme goats cheese = good shit. Try it.


Anchovies are in the back of your fridge. At the front of mine though.


Jen made the bread this morning.


Sandwich press available from Kmart for ten bucks.


White wine that Jonathon the wine merchant left in your fridge – free (I think this may have been what made my head sore the next day. In hindsight this was probably not the most calculated plan I have ever devised, but it was a plan none-the-less so I ran with it).


I am sorted!
I am sorted!



*a mosquito born virus not unlike Ross river. Look it up, it’s awesome.