This is seriously quicker than getting your fat ass into some trackie dacks, waddling to your car and heading out to a burger-of-ill-repute drive through (yeah I’m talking to you comic book guy). This is every five-ingredient-exploding-tastebud-techniques padiwans dream. Because let’s face it; who doesn’t like a good burger. I’ve rambled on about them before so I’ll spare you “notes from the diary of a burger fiend” today as a special once only, enjoy your Monday, introduction to the week offer. You better make one for dinner tonight.
And why is this called a dirty burger? Just because it is that’s why. I didn’t inquire about your stupid name, did I? It’s my burger and I’ll darn well call it whatever I want!

The dirty burger
When you break it down, not unlike MC Hammer did in his short lived popularity in the early nineties, a burger needs only a few good elements. Seasoned beef mince, a bun, some crisp lettuce and a dressing of some description. The rest is up to you. Lets do this…

1 handful beef mince
salt and pepper
a bun that you think you may enjoy. I stole mine from the baker at work
iceberg lettuce for some crunch
tomato sauce
- Season the beef with salt and pepper and form into a good sized pattie
- Use a flamethrower to cook it if you are a proper tough guy, otherwise a pan on the stove will do fine. Med-high heat, about three minutes each side
- Done. Assemble the burger in what ever fashion you see fit
- Eat it in your face. Nom nom nom
There, five ingredients… almost
The optional extras include mustard mayo, dill pickle, beetroot, onion, tomato, cheese and bacon, all of which I think deserve a place on this beast so it can truly be called “The Dirty Burger”.
You know your mouth is watering so get on to that shit homeboy. Eff yes!
Yum. Home made burgers do not even compare to fast food burgers.
We make the best burgers at home. We always think there isn’t *THAT* much going into it, by the time it’s assembled, it’s usually a towering monster. It’s often difficult to eat. Showing a little restraint can make for a better experience. But it’s hard to remember that when we’re wondering if we need a fried egg, beetroot AND a pineapple slices in our burger….
Amen to that. Except the fried egg. It’s just not welcome in any burger of mine… Don’t know why. It just ain’t 🙂
I believe the egg may be a kiwi thing.
“The burger was also sold in Australia under the name McOz but did not include an egg.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiwiburger
Holy shit that is a wild assed looking burger!
Defrosted mince last night to make beef kofta tonight but damn this burger looks good! 🙂
Dirty dirty goodness.
So powerful you’ll get up from the table, walk away, and collapse in a heap after ten paces.
I didn’t move at all…