foodisthebestshitever

This is seriously quicker than getting your fat ass into some trackie dacks, waddling to your car and heading out to a burger-of-ill-repute drive through (yeah I’m talking to you comic book guy). This is every five-ingredient-exploding-tastebud-techniques padiwans dream. Because let’s face it; who doesn’t like a good burger. I’ve rambled on about them before so I’ll spare you “notes from the diary of a burger fiend” today as a special once only, enjoy your Monday, introduction to the week offer. You better make one for dinner tonight.

And why is this called a dirty burger? Just because it is that’s why. I didn’t inquire about your stupid name, did I? It’s my burger and I’ll darn well call it whatever I want!

you dirty little burger

The dirty burger

When you break it down, not unlike MC Hammer did in his short lived popularity in the early nineties, a burger needs only a few good elements. Seasoned beef mince, a bun, some crisp lettuce and a dressing of some description. The rest is up to you. Lets do this…

get things that look like all the stuff in the photo and your on the home stretch…

1 handful beef mince

salt and pepper

a bun that you think you may enjoy. I stole mine from the baker at work

iceberg lettuce for some crunch

tomato sauce

• Season the beef with salt and pepper and form into a good sized pattie
• Use a flamethrower to cook it if you are a proper tough guy, otherwise a pan on the stove will do fine. Med-high heat, about three minutes each side
• Done. Assemble the burger in what ever fashion you see fit
• Eat it in your face. Nom nom nom

There, five ingredients… almost

The optional extras include mustard mayo, dill pickle, beetroot, onion, tomato, cheese and bacon, all of which I think deserve a place on this beast so it can truly be called “The Dirty Burger”.

You know your mouth is watering so get on to that shit homeboy. Eff yes!