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Summer until you can summer no longer…

summer chicken pork kebab and vanilla bean pannacotta with marsala strawberries
It’s still pretty warm out here. Sure, the nights are a little chillier and already you can feel that the baby making season is quickly approaching, but we still have the sunny days and we shall be milking them for all they’re worth. We shall syphon every last bit of warmth that giant fiery orb (aka. the sun) is willing to release upon us and we shall barbecue until we can barbecue no longer. All that’s needed is three things.

Three things.

1. The Big Red Rub

Oh yes this is sexy

Oh yes this is sexy

Contrary to what you may initially believe, this does not involve a visit from a burly Scottish highlander who has just completed a 3 week course in the fine art of Thai massage. This is a dry rub for meats that is both red in colour and big in flavour. It was also created by me and through out these hills and hay stacks I am oft known by the name Big Red, so you could quite possibly see how I think I am being heaps clever.

Big, red and ready to get rubby

Big, red and ready to get rubby


4 tablespoons sweet paprika
1 tablespoon each smoked paprika, brown sugar, salt, garlic powder, onion powder, ground chilli, dried oregano, dried thyme

• Mix it all together and you’re good to go
• Make heaps and give it to your friends or store in an air tight container in the cupboard for up to a month

2. The Chorken-kebab

All sorts of awesome

All sorts of awesome

Grilly grilly, turny turny

Grilly grilly, turny turny

Ooh la la

Ooh la la

Every piece of meat had a spit hole in it... funny that

Every piece of meat had a spit hole in it… funny that

Time to get the fuck into my belly

Time to get the fuck into my belly

This is quite simply a large chicken and pork kebab on a rotisserie spit. The chicken marylands and strips of pork belly were rubbed down sensually with a couple of handfuls of the Big Red Rub and then skewered onto the spit. This then spends three hours rolling around over the coals as it self bastes (masterbastes could work here) itself into a glorious big red awesome thing dappled with little hits of darkened charred glorious smoky bits and 100% made up of tasty, tasty chorken. You need a spit for the chorken-kebab and to look 100% more genius than if you cook it any other way but, you could also make yourself some mighty fine barbecued chicken and pork just by grilling the marinated meats over low coals for a few hours or you could even cook it in the oven for some kind of weak mans feeble not-even-a-barbecue. 180C for an hour or so should do the trick…

3. Pannacotta

Enamel is cool

Enamel is cool

Pannacotta is a dessert that oozes summer. Cool, sweet, sexy and a little bit jiggly, just like boobies, and as we all know summer is all about the boobies… and the beaches… well, beaches, boobies (boys also works well here if it’s boys you are into), barbecue and beverages… so summer is definitely about the “B” words at the very least. Anyway, when trying to syphon that last little bit of summer sunshine out of the barrel of seasons that we commonly know as the year, hold it upside down and shake it vigorously so as to dislodge every ounce of sunshine from it’s hold, use your “B” words and for goodness sakes make yourself (and a few other people) some pannacotta. This is me helping you look really good with minimal effort or smarts used by you… thank me later.


I told you enamel is cool

I told you enamel is cool

600ml thickened cream
600ml full cream milk
3 vanilla beans, scraped and pods reserved
200g castor sugar
4 gelatine sheets
2 punnets strawberries, hulled and halved
2 tablespoons marsala
1 tablespoon castor sugar
3 basil leaves, chiffonade

• Soak gelatin leaves in enough water to cover
• Combine cream, milk, vanilla and reserved pods and castor sugar. Heat until sugar is dissolved and mixture is the temperature of hot tap water. Remove from heat
• Remove gelatin leaves from water and stir into cream mixture until dissolved
• Divide mix into 6 glasses to set. Enamel still seems to be trending at the moment but I could also imagine a vegemite jar will put you right on point. Refrigerate overnight to set
• I hope you read the recipe before starting and you haven’t got to this point an hour before your dinner party is due to start
• An hour or two before serving, macerate strawberries in booze and extra sugar
• Remove the pannacottas from the fridge and check they are set. We’re looking for something similar to a booby wobble, something we in the kitchen know as “titty consistency”
• Serve your pannas with the strawberries and syrup, and a few slithers of chiffonade basil

So there you go; find the last few rays of summer warmth, wrangle them to the ground, get your barbecue and pannacotta on and pretend like you’re living that endless summer… at least until next week when the skies become darker, the evenings and mornings cooler and short skirts and bikinis shall be replaced with long clothing… long, thick, warm, minimal skin revealing clothing.

Night time fire shadows

Night time fire shadows

But on the upside barbecues and summer salads shall soon be yielding to rich wintery braises, soups and slow roasted goodies of all descriptions… come at me winter!

27 comments on “Summer until you can summer no longer…

  1. Conor Bofin says:

    It’s the sensual rubbing that does it….
    Can’t wait for summer here.

    1. Your turn soon I believe my friend 😜

  2. cheergerm says:

    Bloody beautiful barbecue boy. (And the wibble wobble of that bountiful looking pannacotta? Ooo la la!) Summeerrrrrr…….stayyyyyyy…….(grasping tight with my smurf like hobbity hands here….)

    1. Nice use of B words Mrs Cheer.
      Didn’t picture you as a blue hobbit… It’s cool though, we can still be friends 😜

  3. That’s the sexiest shit ever…and I expected nothing less from the masterbaster himself 😛

    1. Why thank you my friend. I really have missed your words 😜

  4. Dana Fashina says:

    Damn homie,
    I could use some of the Big Red rub right about now.
    I’m going to do my damndest to make sure my summer mirrors yours 🙂

    1. Is that a euphanism?
      And you think you’re the one that should be shaking their head…
      Hey, I tell you what, I could actually send some of that shit your way. Get you ready for Summer…

      1. Jacki says:

        Haha, this is fabulous! You definitely put a smile on my face for the day. I’m glad a fireman wasn’t at the door, asking you to evacuate im#28iately&mde30; that would be awkward. I haven’t taken to sleeping in the buff yet, but I do sleep in just a t-shirt and undies. You’re right about the shower being the only place I’m ever au naturale. Hmm, seems kinda sad now that I think about it.“Grin and bare it” sounds like good advice for gaining self-confidence in our bodies!

  5. Man Fuel says:

    I forget sometimes that our seasons are reversed. This post is just in time as our summer makes it way out of this grueling winter. Your Big Red Rub looks awesome and I can tell you’ve had some courses in “meat massage.” I have a similar rub recipe I use, but I’m going to give yours a try because the oregano and thyme sound great. I’m also going to see about smashing a couple of different animals on a spit to see what all the hubbub is about! 😉

    1. Do it my friend. Do it all. The mixed meat scenario was the best I swear.
      And yes, meat massage is my specialty 😜

  6. Chorken! Brilliant. Big red rub sounds awesome. I’d love one of those fire pits out back. 🙂

    1. The fire pit is such a part of my life. We are like brethren!
      Cheers my friend 😜

  7. Mr Fitz says:

    Oh I want your fire pit so bad!!

  8. MeglyMc says:

    Annnnnnnd now all I want is pannacotta. Damn you. *angrily eats Fiber One cereal*

    1. But the cereal is good, right? Right?

      1. MeglyMc says:

        Sigh. No. 😉

  9. Oh yes, I remember this! Just copied the rub recipe and will put it together this week.

    1. Enjoy it… On just about anything!! 😜

  10. Anitra says:

    Ѕome truly nice and utilitarian info oon this site, also I conceive the design and style has
    superb features.

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