Jamaican Goat Curry Mun

I am not sure where this recipe came from (although as I look at the title of this story I figure it could have originated somewhere in the vicinity of Jamaica) but it is one I have been cooking for many years and, as a bit of goat had managed to find it’s way into my possession, I sensed it was time to feel a little Caribbean sun in my belly once again.

OK mun (that’s a dodgy Jamaican accent attempt), we need to get into character for this one… time to smoke a reefer.

Now you need to find a good butcher who is going to be able to supply you with some goat… and has a little wage slave apprentice who is going to dice it up for you. Also, you should be able to buy some more weed from the dodgy apprentice.

If you think you are afraid of goat you should watch that kids movie “Frozen”. That is some proper scary shit. You’ll be humming those dumb assed tunes to yourself for days to come… but goat, goat is not scary at all. It is kind of lamby and we all know how cute and delicious lambs are.

Time to smoke a “special cigarette” laced with your best sensimlia, mun.

So find yourself some goat meat, pay the purveyor of said meat his due fee so that he will not chase you down the street with a large knife and unruly eyes, smoke a big fat reefer of the finest herb you can find and cook yourself this so-simple-it-could-be-your-step-father curry.

Cook that kid up
Cook that kid up

That tomato salad
That tomato salad
Mmmm, goat curry
Mmmm, goat curry
Effing delicious
Effing delicious


1kg goat shoulder meat, diced
2 brown onion, sliced
2 carrots, diced kinda chunky
4 cloves garlic, chopped
3 tablespoons curry powder
1-2 scotch bonnet chilli (but as my kids will be eating this I will leave it out for now and use it to garnish my dinner. I dare say Jennee will be having some on hers, too)
1 tablespoon ground allspice
3 tomatoes, diced
1lt stock or water
1 medium sweet potato (or regular potato if your wife isn’t rocking the paleo thing)
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
Steamed rice and tomato salad (I wasn’t sure what the traditional accompaniments might be so this is what you get. Tomato, onion, chopped parsley, a splash of apple cider vinegar, oil and seasoning) to serve

• In a heavy based pot, brown meat in a little oil. Set aside
• In the same pot sauté onions and garlic until soft. Add carrot and spices and cook out for a minute or two
• Return goat to the pot with seasoning and stock/water
• Cover and simmer for 1 hour over low heat
• Add potato, tomato, and a little water if it looks like it’s getting a bit dry, and simmer for a further half hour or until meat will push apart in your fingers
• Get it in your belly… I dare say you’re gonna need it after all of that reefer smoking

*We here at foodisthebestshitever do in no way condone the smoking of Jah’s finest sensimilia

Jungle curry goat


Jungle curry goat…

Good enough to make me gloat

Hot enough to take you by the throat

Definitely worth more than a single groat

(Is this what my life has become?) And that shall be the jingle for my new goat curry café. Or maybe it won’t be. In any case I’d need to get a goat curry café to warrant making up a jingle and I don’t see that happening any time soon. Granted I am not Nostradamus but still, it just doesn’t appear on the horizon for me.

Something that is quite literally on the horizon at the moment is a cracking afternoon sky. I’m basking in the warm glow of my first glass of really old grape juice (doesn’t sound so sexy now, eh) and preparing the evening meal.

This is holiday life for me. Hash tag that shit!

After the cracking lunch we had at Spirit House a couple of days back Jennee really wanted “something spicy, Thai and exotic”. Now, for Jennee to say that to me was a pretty brave move, and I do feel I really should’ve taken it a lot further then I did, but you know what? Sometimes I am just a genuinely nice guy, so jungle curry of goat it was!

The paste
The paste
Mmmm, jungle curry
Mmmm, jungle curry
Still mmmmm
Still mmmmm
The kitchen in the cottage/house/place to be on holidays in
The kitchen in the cottage/house/place to be on holidays in


1-1.5kg piece of goat leg or shoulder, bone in for extra flavour, cut into 4-5 pieces on the bandsaw (your butcher will do this for you unless he is an absolute prick, in which case why the hell are you still using him???)

250g green beans or snake beans if you can get them, prepped into edible sized pieces

2 tomatoes, cut into wedges

2 tablespoons sugar. Castor will do if you don’t have palm sugar

2 cups stock

2 tablespoon tamarind pulp

1 tablespoon fish sauce, plus a little more if needed

4 kaffir lime leaf

1 lime for that final pornographic flourish

Red onion, pickled cucumber and steamed rice to serve

  • Cook off the goat with the curry paste in a pot or large pan over a medium heat
  • Once it starts to smell lovely and aromatic (like your best friends mums undies) add sugar and cook for a minute or two until it starts to caramelise. Add stock, tamarind, fish sauce and kaffir leaf and cover. Simmer over low heat for probs 2 hours, maybe a little more if it’s not doing its thing. Give it a stir every 20 minutes. If it starts to thicken up too much add a splash of water, we’re going to sort this baby out at the end
  • After two hours check if the meat is tender. You can do this by poking it with your finger or a stick. If it is ready it will yield quite easily
  • Remove the lid and simmer down until almost at desired consistency (I suggest a slightly thick gravy), add beans and tomatoes and simmer for another 10 minutes
  • Get that puppy on the table, top with some thinly sliced red onion and have the other garnishes on the side
  • Write a poem about how much you like to gloat when you cook goat because it really floats your boat… or probably don’t



1 brown onion, diced

3 long green chilli, sliced

3 dried long red chilli

1 tablespoon grated ginger

4 cloves garlic, chopped

1 stalk lemongrass, sliced, white part only

1 bunch coriander, roots and stems washed and chopped for paste. Leaves reserved for garnish

1 teaspoon white peppercorns, pounded in a mortar

A splash of oil to get the party started… Friday night styles… in the back garage… hmmm

  • Blitz everything for the paste until it is a paste like consistency