Cheeky BBQ pork belly

Cheeky BBQ pork belly

Go to the beach all morning and still BBQ like a champion. AKA. Spend a few hours getting a secure enclosure built for the new shipment of Russian import carnie sex slaves you are expecting within the week.

Where-as a normal pork roast on the BBQ can be as needy as your first girlfriend and will generally require a fair bit of tending to, this method is going to give you the time you need to do the shit you need to do, and you will still get a nice lick of smoke and flame flavour (yes, that is definitely a flavour).

For this cheeky little BBQ cook up we’re going to pre-cook the pork for 2 hours in the oven so the pork is almost ready to go once it hits the grill. It can even be cooked a day or two before hand, brought to room temperature and then cooked for an extra 10-15 minutes to make sure she is hot.

This might not suit the die-hard BBQ enthusiast but it certainly works and sometimes die-hard enthusiasts of anything in this world can just be a bunch of wankers, so just do what you gotta do to get your freak on.

Get a nice bit of pork belly from your local purveyor of fine meats

Grilly, grilly
Flip it over to admire it beauty

Bloody delicious

CHEEKY BBQ PORK BELLY

Serves 8

2kg pork belly, scored
6-8 cloves garlic, chopped
½ teaspoon dried chilli flakes
Salt and pepper
Whatever sides you can rummage together, to serve

Pre-heat oven to 160C (320F).
Rub underside of pork with garlic, chilli and a pinch of salt and pepper (and a few fennel seeds or a star anise would go well in here too).
Flip over into oven dish.
Rub the skin of the pork with more salt… A really good pinch of salt… pork skin really loves a good hit of salt.
Place pork in pre-heated oven for 2 hours. Go and do some other things.
Now you’re back and the pork is ready to go so its time to fire up the BBQ.
(For the BBQ.
I like coals. For something like this pork belly I will have my main charcoal pile to one side of the BBQ, pulling quite literally a few pieces of glowing coal under the pork at any given time to give it some sizzle and flavour, and also to get that crackle going.)
Take the pork out of the oven dish and place skin side down over a few coals, with the main pile off to the side, as explained above.
Grill pork for 30 minutes, rotating two or three times, and tending to any little flare ups that might occur (this is also known as your beer drinking time).
Flip pork over and give the bottom side 5 minutes of charcoal time.
Now it should be hot and it should be bloody well ready to go.
Carve it up and get it in your face hole the best you know how.

Whack some stuffed apples on the grill for dessert if you have the inclination

Buffalo-esque Chicken Wings

Buffalo wings?

Yes, buffalo-esque wings
Yes, buffalo-esque wings

So what I am doing? Well I may be getting a little drunk with my father-in-law Dr Chris (officially not a real doctor but more than willing to take a look for you)… I know you’re thinking it’s only a Tuesd… no wait, Wednesday, but I have performed all of my fatherly duties for the day; kids lunch boxes are packed up for the morning and all that shit. Oh, and did I mention Jennee (the wiffy) is away at a work conference? No? I probably didn’t, but that is mostly due to the fact that I am hitting the good end of a bottle of wine… and there may have been a few beers in there too. And please don’t tell her I am hitting the keyboard of my new MacBook*tm with greasy chicken fingers. My secret is safe with you right? Right.

So what am I lining my belly with to sort out the imminent intoxication* due to my lack of eating today (yeah that’s right. Even when you work in a professional kitchen sometimes you forget to eat…)? Bufallo-esque type chicken wings (thanks to inspiration from my friend Vincent over at vittlemonster)… seriously, any town drunk could put this together (yeah, I’m really getting back to my roots here)… well, maybe not any town drunk. I’d say it’s well out of the reach of the guy who treks into Maccas with big poo stains down the back of his pants. Or maybe they’re someone else’s pants. Anyhoo…

Dredge the wings in seasoned flour
Dredge the wings in seasoned flour
Cook the wings
Cook the wings
Make sure they are nice and awesome and then roll them through the tabasco butter
Make sure they are nice and awesome and then roll them through the tabasco butter
Eat with beetroot 'slaw and corn
Eat with beetroot ‘slaw and corn

So what do you have to do to eat buffalo-esque wings tonight?

  • Dredge a couple of kilos of chicken wings through some plain flour seasoned with salt and pepper (you’ll work the flour thing out in a minute… hopefully). Splash with oil just like you were a topless girl splashing around bubbles at the “Suds Night” at the local nightclub, and roast at 180C for 30-ish minutes
  • While they are roasting melt some butter (I think I had about 100g but I am basing that on no actual knowledge apart from the fact that it was in my hand… actually, it may have been more like 50g. Maybe not… Fuck it, just put 100g in there) and then add to it heaps of Tabasco sauce. Like a good teaspoon or so. Don’t worry, the butter is going to mellow it out heaps… hopefully
  • Once the chicken is cooked toss it in a bowl with the butter and Tabasco (the flour is now going to help suck up the coating on your chicken wing glory. You’re welcome)
  • Eat it in your face with grilled corn drizzled with the leftover butter and chicken juices, and beetroot ‘slaw (recipe follows)

Beetroot ‘slaw

  • Make ‘slaw how you would normally make except, and this is the clincher, add grated beetroot instead of carrot. That wasn’t too hard now, was it?

*may have already occurred