BBQ pork nachos loaded with a few things including charred jalapeno hot sauce

Nachos are a pretty commonplace meal around these here parts, especially when it’s dinner for just me and the boys (I am father to 11 and 12-year-old boys just in case you didn’t already know that).

In fact, it would be true to say nachos, burgers and pizza form my children’s’ holy trinity of foods they would be most happy living off of for the remainder of their childhood years.

Also, I feel that nachos of some description are within the realms of most people’s kitchen skill set (just maybe not yours) so I will not give you a recipe for them today. Instead I will tell you what I put with mine and maybe you can do something like that too.

Heads up – my list of ingredients does include a charred jalapeño hot sauce for which I will be providing you with a recipe.

I am a nice guy.

Here’s what it was;
BBQ pork,
Refried beans,
Avocado / guacamole,
Sour cream,
Tomato salsa,
BBQ sauce (to anoint that pork),
Charred jalapeno hot sauce,
Corn chips


This is a version of my original hot sauce – the prototype being made with non-charred long red chillis. A version of this stuff is on the table with every, I repeat, every meal we have.

1 kg (2 ¼ lb) jalapeños, grilled over coals until a little charred and blistered just like in the pic
2 cloves garlic, peeled
100 g (3 ½ oz) castor sugar
1 tblsp salt
250ml (8 fl oz) white vinegar
500ml (16 fl oz) water

Blitz or chop the chilli and garlic to a rough consistency.
Transfer to a glass jar and add all other ingredients. Sit on the kitchen bench for 5 days with the lid on but ajar so the sauce can breathe, stirring every day.
Transfer chilli mixture to a pot and heat the sauce until it comes to the simmer. Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring every now and then.
Allow to cool and then puree to a smooth-ish consistency with a stick wizz or in a blender.
Seal and store in the refrigerator.
Hot sauce will keep for… actually I don’t know how long because it’s always gone within a few weeks around here.

Singapore noodles with smoked pork

Sometimes I forget how much I love noodles. Especially Singapore noodles. Oh, how I love Singapore noodles.

This is pretty easy, mid-week (should possibly read; great for late evening after maybe one or two too many beers when you forget that a man, and of course woman, needs to eat) cooking that is tasty as fuck and can certainly be toyed with as much as your sweet little heart desires. This time ‘round I had some leftover pork ribs that I took all the meat from like a white man taking land in centuries past, but this could easily be made with pork, chicken or beef mince, or prawns that are cooked off at the start and then returned to the pan as per the recipe, or you could even crumble in a little tofu with the vegetables if that’s your scene.

But for now – less talky, more cooky.

Put all ingredients onto a chopping board to photograph them before you cut them up

…and then maybe cut it all up and take anther photo
High heat sizzle sizzle
Noodles and condiments is good times for my face

So much about this makes me happy to be alive


400-500g smoked pork (or some kind of meat or non meat substitute)
Rice vermicelli
1 medium brown onion or a few shallots (scallions), sliced
2 cups of chopped vegetables – today my refrigerator had celery and zucchini for me and then I found some sugar snap peas in the garden
1 thumb sized piece of ginger, grated or chopped
3-4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon oyster sauce
1 tablespoon light soy sauce
2 tablespoons curry powder or garam masala
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Chopped chilli, crisp eshallots and fresh shallots to serve

Place noodles into a bowl that is big enough to fit them plus some. Cover noodles with room temp water for 20 minutes.
Now for another opportunity to impress your friends with your smoking hot wok antics. So yes, you will be needing a smoking hot oiled wok… or possibly a very large pan… or maybe even two regular sized pans.
Add the vegetables, garlic and ginger and give them a couple of minutes of fiery stir frying.
Now add all remaining ingredients plus the pork (or substitute meat or non-meat product) into the pan.
Give that a quick heat through and get it on the table… or possibly on a plate followed closely by onto the table, garnished with chilli and shallot.


Roasted Pork Belly with Vegetables From The Garden

roast pork belly
We here at foodisthebestshitever are venturing forward in a new direction, we shall go forth and expand our culinary vision and facilitate this vision through the exploration of contemporary cuisines previously unbeknownst to us. We shall visit regions previously deemed out of reach, in the spirit of searching out something totally new and different.

Yes folks, today we shall be exploring the wonderful work of… well… pork.

Ok, you got me. I’m not doing anything profound or original for this blog. I am merely cooking pork again and am trying to make myself feel better about my addiction. I use the local free-range pork if that’s any conciliation for the armchair activists out there.

Today I’m talking pork belly.

Pork belly is one of my favouritest pieces of meat of all time. If I were a gay man I still think pork belly would be at the top of my favourite meat list. There is not a whole heap I don’t like about pork belly; it is flavoursome, luscious, tasty, delicious, really good and a whole heap of other synonyms for the same word. It is a meal that I always want a little more of, and I always cook extra so I have leftovers for the next day… and mostly that extra pork even makes it to the next day. Actually, a lot of the time we eat it all on the night… well, most of the time. You see, Jennee brings her “we all know the crackling won’t be any good tomorrow” game to the table (what I like to call her A game) and generally manages to convince us that it’s OK to finish the lot now because it is a certainty the crackling will contract a disease rendering it flaccid and inedible, in turn contaminating the remaining pork and making it unfit for human consumption.
Well, this night I was going to take my chances with flaccid crackling and rancid meat, as I was already hella keen on pork belly for my dinner again tomorrow. Hella keen…

We have had a good harvest of heirloom carrots and kale so they featured heavily in the meal. This is truly my favourite eating; food that comes from our own garden or is grown by people close to us. Food that was cared for before it hit the pan. Food that, well, food that just doesn’t come from one of the big supermarkets really…

The belly didn't really fit into the pan but eventually it did after a bit of post coital shrinkage set in
The belly didn’t really fit into the pan but eventually it did after a bit of post coital shrinkage set in

Porky belly all cooked up
Porky belly all cooked up
Those roast vegetables were damn fine
Those roast vegetables were damn fine

Yes, those roast vegetables
Yes, those roast vegetables


1.5 – 2kg pork belly. That should be enough for leftovers…
½ – 1 teaspoon garlic powder
A good pinch of salt and pepper
A selection of vegetables from the garden/fridge. We had potatoes, heirloom carrots, radish and onion
½ tablespoon Chinese black vinegar
A bit more seasoning
Olive oil
Sautéed curly kale and jagallo nero (a spindly awesome type of kale) with oyster sauce and carrot top salsa verde to serve

• Pre heat oven to 160C
• Season pork belly with salt, pepper and garlic powder
• Roast pork belly in oven for 2.5-3 hours until the smell causes you mouth to water and your loins to stir, and it is super tender
• While pork is cooking chop your assorted vegetables into fairly similar sized chunks. Put them into a separate oven dish, lube up with a splash of rendered fat from the pork belly, splash with the vinegar and season. After the pork has been cooking for 1.5 hours the vegetables can go into the oven too. Roast for one hour or until vegetables are just cooked, and then remove from oven until pork is ready. Once pork is ready turn the oven up to 180-200C and return the vegetables to the oven for a final five to ten minutes to get a bit of crispness, and that should do the job on the pork crackling for you too (if crackling is being a bit stubborn a few minutes under the grill (broiler) will sort it out)
• Carve the pork and serve with roast vegetables, carrot top salsa verde and sautéed greens… and try not to eat it all tonight…

One more look at that pork belly
One more look at that pork belly

Pork Chop Jambalaya for a Jambalaya Virgin

pork chop jambalaya
Best I can figure Jambalaya is a bit of a Cajun classic that may have its roots in the Spanish paella. It’s a tasty-assed mash up some kind of meat, smoked sausage, a few vegetables and rice in a pot, where they are left to make love and produce a love child of immensely really good flavour to go in your face… or at least that’s what I hope it is – I’ve never actually tried it, but I’m set to give it a go today. I am a jambalaya virgin and today my cherry shall be popped. I am excited. I am excited like the teenage boy who is at last going to break the shackles of unintended celibacy. Fo real.

Cajun cooking has a bit of a thing going on with the celery, capsicum (bell pepper) and onion, the holy trinity of Cajun cooking if you will… and I certainly have no problem with this. It works, it does what it is meant to do, it doesn’t cause any trouble and it’s clean… I love a good clean house guest… or holy trinity… I have no explanation for the things that happen when my head tries to convince my fingers to type things for you to read.

Ummm, read it or don’t I guess.

Andouille sausage is another ingredient that features a lot in Cajun cooking, but is a product that I have not yet been able to lay my dirty little mits on. Probs not trying hard enough I guess – lounging around asking the universe to make some Andouille sausage appear, via carnie delivery service, at my front door is trying pretty damn hard though, yeah? I picture the scenario as this; I would be sitting on the couch in front of the fire typing away, producing a poignant story and an equally as emotional recipe, when I hear a knock at the door. I open the door to be greeted by nothing but a small package wrapped in brown paper and tied with string – fully old school styles. I scan the front yard for the deliverer of said package and catch a glimpse of a small carnie looking beast as it scurries through a crack in the fence. My gaze returns to the brown package on my doorstep… I open it, carefully undoing the string and then peeling back the wrapping, slowly as if it were the super models knickers. Peeling it back to reveal my prize, the golden brown Andouille sausage…

Possibly a metaphor for life, but more likely the result of a youth spent in a smoky haze, or even the affects of fluoride in the drinking water, or possibly that small vile of clear liquid I was given by the guy down the road who kinda looks a lot like Gandolf…

Here is the recipe for the pork chop jambalaya we ate on this fine evening. It received a standing ovation, which was in fact a sitting “yeah, this is really good”. Good enough for me.

Those sexy assed pork chops
Those sexy assed pork chops

Those sexy assed pork chops after a little time in the pan
Those sexy assed pork chops after a little time in the pan
Take the chops out and put them aside while you sauce the vegetables and chorizo in the porky fatty juices
Take the chops out and put them aside while you sauce the vegetables and chorizo in the porky fatty juices
Serve that baby up. A bit of lemon and some good company is the go
Serve that baby up. A bit of lemon and some good company is the go


800g pork chops (I really am a fan of the fat and the flavour of something old breed and free-range)
1 chorizo sausage, chopped
1 medium (or two small – common sense yeah?) onion, diced
1 capsicum (bell pepper), diced
1 stalk celery, diced
5 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon Cajun or Creole spice or even just a pinch of dried thyme and chilli
2 cups of brown rice, soaked in water for a few hours (some kind of long grain white rice would be the norm, and if used you would not need to soak it)
4 cups stock or water
A splash of oil
Parsley, coriander (cilantro) and lemon wedges to serve

• Heat oil in a heavy based pan. Season pork chops with salt and pepper and fry in pan until browned on each side but not fully cooked. Set chops aside
• In the same pan, sauté chorizo, vegetables and garlic in rendered pork fat until softened and starting to brown
• Add spice mix and cook out for a further minute
• Add rice, stock and resting pork chops to pan, cover and simmer over low heat for 15-20 minutes or until rice is cooked
• Allow to sit for 5 minutes. Check seasoning,
• Garnish with chopped parsley and coriander, and then serve. Onto a serving dish of some description and then into your face in the norm…

...and booze. Don't forget to serve it with booze
…and booze. Don’t forget to serve it with booze