Another day, another cook-off part 2

It was all about the beef ribs for me...
It was all about the beef ribs for me…

The dishes of Grazza McFilthy Mouth

So, as I previously promised you fine folks (hell yeah I’m talking to you) that I would post recipes for the dishes we cooked in our now legendary cook-off this week, I feel somewhat obliged to actually come through with the goods. I will put myself under un-necessary pressure to get this to the screen in front of you (or possibly behind you if you are a strange troupe of carnival folk who reside illegally in a crazy House of Mirrors and have subsequently taught yourselves to read back-to-front and upside-down) so you may read it now. Damn my inner decent human. Damn his britches…

Prawns with capsicum and feta
Prawns with capsicum and feta

VENEZUALA – braised capsicum, chilli, prawns and feta
I got hold of some super looking king prawns or shrimp or whatever the rest of the world calls them, and they made the dish. It was a very tasty combo but not quite good enough to woo a podium appearance from the judges… I pretty much followed this recipe here, except I used red and green capsicums, which was a course of action that probably made my dish very un-traditional. I don’t care; it was damn tasty, which works for me.

Lamb kabouli
Lamb kabouli

OMAN – lamb kabouli
This dish is good. So good in fact, they gave it a special name all of it’s own; the lamb kabouli. I used this recipe right here and it worked fine for me. The Omani spice mix was a cracker, aromatic with cardamom, cumin and coriander, a bit of heat from the cayenne and a nice sharp hit from the vinegar. I didn’t have any rose water though, so I didn’t use the required ½ cup… I could not have forced myself to put that much rose water in anyhow… maybe that’s why this dish didn’t win me the gold either.

MEXICO – grilled beef short ribs, mole sauce, charred salsa picante
This was going to win it for me for sure. This was bringing home the gold like an old Ford pick-up truck with a full load of boarder jumpers heading to the U S of A. There wasn’t a chance in hell this was not going to win… except that it didn’t. Whatever. It still won it my eyes… I was like the mother of a red-headed child… my little baby was always winning in my eyes… my darling baby. More on the winning dish later…

Beef ribs getting saucy
Beef ribs getting saucy
Ah, those ribs
Ah, those ribs

BEEF RIBS WITH MOLE SAUCE (for 4)
1.5kg beef short ribs
1 cinnamon quill
80g mexican chocolate (if you can’t get hold of it use 40g dark chocolate or a tablespoon of dutch cocoa)
2x 400g tin diced tomatoes

the paste
2 corn tortilla, grilled or roasted with a little oil until brown
80g raisins or sultanas
80g almonds, roasted
¼ cup pepitas, roasted
1 tablespoon sesame seeds, roasted
1 tablespoon coriander seed, roasted and ground
4 cloves, ground
4 cloves garlic
2-4 dried long red chillis (depending on how hot you like it), soaked in hot water for 20 minutes
½ cup water from the pot you simmered the ribs in
• Simmer the beef ribs in a pot of water for 2 hours or until they are tender
• Blitz ingredients for almond paste until it nice and pasty like your chefs’ tan
• Fry paste off in a little oil until you are starting to detect delicious aromas with your nose. Yep. I’m afraid I’ve put your nose in charge of this one
• Add all other ingredients and chuck some salt and pepper in there too.
• Simmer for 30 minutes, stirring regularly so the fruit and nuts don’t burn
• Check seasoning and adjust if neccessary
• Baste the ribs with the sauce and roast at 180C for 15-20 minutes, until they are starting to caramelise and look sexy
• Serve with extra sauce, rice, warm tortillas, salsa picante (recipe below), coriander and lime

SALSA PICANTE
4 ripe tomatoes, charred over a flame until they start to blacken and blister
1 eshallot or half a red onion, bruniose
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 pickled jalepeno chilli, chopped
1 tablespoon of the jalepeno vinegar
a small handful of coriander, chopped
seasoning
• Peel the blackened skin from the tomatoes
• Put everything into a food proccesser and pulse into a chunky salsa type thing

CHICKEN MOLE POBLANO… is it good? It’s Mexcellent!

Today we have Mexican because it’s El Gringo Mexicano Wednesday (yes, you may have noticed I prefixed Gringo Mexicano Wednesday with “El”. I think it gives it a more authentic feel…) at our place and when it’s El Gringo Mexicano Wednesday you eat Mexican food, something similar to Mexican food, something you can convince people is Mexican food or eff it, liquid din-dins it and get a bottle of tequila.

We will delve into the world of chocolate, and it’s not any kind of pervy goo to cover your girlfriend with and lick her slowly from head to t… I mean to say, and it’s a main meal. Mental

“Chocolate in a savoury dish” I hear you say. “Really? Is it good?”

Is it good? It’s mexellent. It’s mextrordinary. It’s mextremely delicious. It’s, it’s… Gone off course APU (this is the acronym for as per usual. I have decided to act like a trendy hipster youth and create my own shit). Many ancient cultures, wise old chefs and smelly little hobbits have been doing it for years. Why? Simply because they are smarter then you. Except for the hobbits. Fuck knows what’s up with them.

 

And now the same text translated into Spanish…
Hoy tenemos al mejicano porque es el Gringo El-Mexicano el miércoles (sí, usted puede haber notado que prefijé al Gringo Mexicano el miércoles ‘con El-‘. Pienso que esto le da una sensación más auténtica …) en nuestro lugar y cuando es el Gringo El-Mexicano el miércoles usted come el alimento mejicano, algo similar al alimento mejicano, algo que usted puede convencer a la gente es el alimento mejicano o eff ello, alboroto de alboroto líquido ello y conseguir una botella de la tequila.

Cavaremos en el mundo de chocolate, y esto no es ninguna clase de la sustancia viscosa pervy para cubrir a su novia de y lamerla despacio de la cabeza a t … pienso decir, y esto es una comida principal. Mental

“Chocolate en un plato sabroso” oigo que usted dice. ¿“Realmente? ¿Está bien?”

¿Está bien? Esto es mexellent. Esto es mextrordinary. Es mextremely delicioso. Es, es… APU de curso marchadose (este es la sigla para según habitual. He decidido actuar como una juventud de aficionado al jazz moderna y crear mi propia mierda). Muchas culturas antiguas, los viejos jefes de cocina sabios y pequeño hobbits maloliente han estado haciéndolo durante años. ¿Por qué? Simplemente porque ellos son más elegantes entonces usted. Excepto el hobbits. Joda sabe lo que aumenta con ellos.

 

And now the Spanish text translated back into English…
Today we have the Mexican one because the Yankee is The Mexican on Wednesday (yes, you can have noticed that I prearranged the Mexican Yankee on Wednesday ‘ with – ‘. I think that this gives him a more authentic sensation …) in our place and when the Yankee is The Mexican on Wednesday you eat the Mexican food, slightly similar to the Mexican food, something that you can convince the people is the Mexican food or eff it, I make a row of liquid clamor it and to obtain a bottle of the tequila.

We will dig in the world of chocolate, and this is not any class of the viscous substance pervy to cover his fiancée of and to lick her slowly from the head to t … I think to say, and this is a principal meal. Mental

“ Chocolate in a tasty dish ” I hear that you say. “ really? Is it well? ”

Is it well? This is mexellent. This is mextrordinary. It is mextremely deliciously. It is, it is… APU of course gone (this is the acronym for as habitually. I have decided to act as a youth fan’s of the jazz modern and to create my own shit). Many ancient cultures, the old wise chefs and small smelly hobbits have been doing it for years. Why? Simply because they are more elegant of that time you. Except the hobbits. Fuck it is known what it increases with them.

serve it in a little clay bowl or flower pot for authenticity

MOLE POBLANO with chicken
I have actually seriously considered omitting (yeah. Word of legends, I know) the chicken and tweeking this into a dessert. Once again, mental.

2kg boneless chicken thigh, cut in half
2 cloves
1 cinnamon quill
40g mexican chocolate (if you can’t get hold of it use dark chocolate or dutch cocoa)
1 400g tin diced tomatoes

the almond paste
1 corn tortilla, grilled or roasted with a little oil until brown
40g raisins or sultanas
50g almonds, roasted
2 Tbls pepitas, roasted
2 Tbls sesame seeds, roasted
1 Tbls coriander seed, roasted and ground
2 cloves garlic
2 dried long red chillis, soaked in hot water for 20 minutes (it should have ancho and pastilla chillis but you may have to use the internet for these… unless you have a Mexican grocer on the corner or, of course live in Mexico)
1/4 cup water
• blitz ingredients for almond paste until it nice and pasty like your chefs’ tan.
• fry paste off in a little oil until you are starting to detect delicious aromas with your nose. Yep. I’m afraid your nose is in charge of this one.
• Add all other ingredients except chicken thigh and chuck some salt and pepper in there too.
• Simmer for 15-20 minutes.
• Add chicken and simmer for another half hour or so, until the chicken is cooked.
• Taste, adjust seasoning, serve, eat.

Serve with tomatillo salsa or jalepeno relish, pepitas, sour cream, lime, grilled corn, rice, and whatever the heck else you want. You are the one eating it after all..

Eat it and then go and have a siesta on the hammock next to your old clay shed in the backyard. You know, the one next to your herd of three goats. Yeah you know…