Ribbed for your comfort

No I am not endorsing a new range of special condoms with the slogan “guaranteed to make her reach climax in half the time”, because;

a. I know for a fact that is still going to be a full days work for a lot of you

b. I’m just not going to, and

c. Nobody asked me to…

But that’s OK. Do you know why? Probably not considering you are not a clairvoyant mind reader who knows my every thought and action. I saw her at the local show and I know she was not you. Strange looking woman. Had lots of small monkeys. Smelled like swamp. Worse 3 bucks I ever spent… No, I will tell you why; because I have beef ribs. Not like beef ribs in place of my own normal human ribs, that would look plain silly. I would be some kind of freakish half man half cow type thing straight from the set of Narnia, and would have to finally find my true lot in life beside my new wife and best friend, Sally, the swampy smelling clairvoyant with the monkeys. What a beautiful family we would have. Laughing, singing, poking fun at the people driving by in their steel chariots…

Well off point again.

Beef ribs. Actual beef ribs. Large ribs that once belonged to a cow, which was dispatched to another place so that Scotty the butcher may cut off it’s ribs for me, to grill and eat with my favourite of green sauces, the chimmichurri.

In a slight precursor to the recipe I am about to give you, it was day two of Paul and Laurens visit last week (see these posts to get your ass up to date with what I speak of). Day two of the foodisthebestshitever reunion got cracking at a decidedly slowly pace than day one. We were definitely following more of a “keep it simple theme”.

Pauly and Lauren went breakfast in Lismore but, upon realizing that our favourite, Palate at the Gallery, was closed they walked the streets like so many before them, quickly realizing this was no gourmet breakfast mecca. They got cosy at a not very nice place called Café Cappello. Pauly recounted a story of his breakfast possibly being cooked by a giant mother bird in an apron, as the sausage appeared to have been chewed up and regurgitated onto the plate. We laughed at that anecdote. Paul truly has a way with his words. They also said their coffee was unpalatable, and that nasty hangover thing was really starting to kick in. They found “the Pie Cart” which, with its selection of a lot of pies, almost made things better. Almost. Then it was a quick walk through a few of L-Smores dodgier back alleys and they were back at the car… and quickly heading back to the sanctuary of our country fortress.

Soon enough it was time for a drink.

Aaaah, that’s better…

That night I cooked a lamb shoulder on the coals with some sweet potatoes and other thing. Things which, when combined with a pile of brown rice and a good splash of the leftover chimmichurri, made a surprisingly good salad. While Paul and I were at the butcher acquiring said lamb shoulder I noticed he had just sawn the rib bones from a big fat rib eye. I looked at Paul, admittedly I got lost in his eyes for a moment, then I said “shall we get those”. He looked to where I gestured. “Yes”, he said. “Yes we should”. Scotty the butcher chucked them in for free. Legend.

The rest, as they say, is history. We cooked, we drank, we laughed and we certainly loved the company of Paul and Lauren for those few days…

Oh, and you need a recipe for those ribs right? Pretty simple actually, I would only suggest not playing with this one if you are actually blind because of the fire thing, but I guess if you’re blind you’re not going to be reading this one anyway…

1. Get beef ribs
2. Marinate in a little chilli and garlic
3. Season
4. Grill gently (yeah, caress them. Make them feel sexy) over the coals for 45 minutes, turning regularly. A webber would do a cracking job right now
5. Rest for five minutes
6. Douse with chimmichurri (recipe here) and stand up and eat them at the cutting board. Get messy and suck those bad boys dry!